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Aug 15 2011

Moonbat Tech: Half-Sized Sheets of Toilet Paper

Sheryl Crow and the polar bears will be delighted with the invention of half-sized sheets of toilet paper:

HowGee looks like every other roll of toilet paper but the sheets are perforated at half-sizes. Ultimately the designers hope by letting you choose how much to use, you’ll save paper. So let’s think about what we use toilet paper for because lets be frank, not every “mess” in the bathroom demands a full-size sheet right? RIGHT?

Wrong. But it’s nice that this generation has something to be remembered by besides Barack Hussein Obama.

half-sized-toilet-paper.jpg

On a tip from Air2air.



  • It never occured to me to count my sheets. I tear off “enough”. But If such things were important to me, I could just as easily tear off 10 “half” sheets as five full sheets to acomplish the same purpose. I cannot believe there is any market research supporting such a move. Is Charmine really getting letters, “My TP is too big, make it smaller”?

    (And now you are going to make me do math? You Tyrant.

  • SPURWING PLOVER

    So how many trees were cut down and how many birds are homeless to provide the paper for the music on which Ms Crows music is printed on so she can catterwal on stage

  • chuck in st paul

    Totally appropriate for a half assed idea.

  • ThatDorkEricDraven

    I’m sure Janeane Garofolo just uses her fingers.

    Don’t forget , I said here that she is ‘really cute in a geeky kind of way.’

    Dave, just stop it with the really hard math questions.

    Whatever.

  • Ghost of FA Hayek

    Demand for more TP means demand for more trees, which in turn means demand for more forests. Ironic, huh ?
    Why do liberals hate the environment ?

  • Maybe we should start washing and re-using them too

    You’re blazing trails ‘Hoo Gee’, what a progressive pioneer you are

  • Uncle Joe

    Sounds like a half-ass solution to me!

  • Jay B.

    What baffles me is that after so many decades in the foresting industry, the left still think the trees are all unique and one that’s cut will never be replaced. I bet leftists see a stack of paper sheets and feel like crying.

  • akrob

    Well like the article says we have a half ass president why not have half ass paper

  • trace

    I thought they did not use paper at all, they just used their hands?

  • J

    The left’s infatuation with anal excretions is eternal.

  • Mickey Shea

    Is it true muslims use a sharp, pointed stick?

  • Carmen

    Man, after ingesting a big ‘ole mess of collard greens w/sport pepper sauce I need a full roll the next day – YEEEEE HAW!!

  • Had it up to here :/

    brilliant, simply brilliant.

    Hey Dave, could you make the security questions just a little harder?

  • Chris in N. Va.

    If you ever wondered whether our current administration was going down the toilet (yours, in particular)…

    If you ever wondered what the proper “roll” of the Federal Government was…

    If you ever wondered whether we’d have to keep turning the other cheek to our Obama Overlords’ seemingly endless (and senseless) list of offenses…

    …now you know.

    If you threw enough of these half-witted rolls at the bureaucratic genius (a truly half-witted role!) who enthusiastically came up with this craptastic idea, you might have a case of the sheet(s) hitting the fan!

  • Momster

    “J says:
    August 15, 2011 at 8:27 am The left’s infatuation with anal excretions is eternal.”

    From what I have observed from reading and listening to liberal writers they are very concerned with anal and oral sex (institutionalizing it through gay marriage and promoting it in the schools), poopie and how to deal with it when it occurs (low flow toilets that use 1/2 of the water per flush–resultiing in multiple flushes in order to get even toilet paper down the drain), and either preventing people from having children (to save the environment) or when someone does get pregnant–killing the baby (so as not to inconvenience the parents). These seem to be the tenets of the liberal religion–well, abortion seems to be some sort of a sacrament. Add to these the desire to oversee (make commandments about) every other aspect of people’s lives, such as what to eat, what not to eat (salt, fat, sugar, and anything that tastes good), what to wear (Thou shalt not wear fur), what to use for energy (wind and solar good, just not in their neighborhoods, oil or coal bad), and how to use the energy (golf cart cars, curly bulbs, keeping your house hot in the summer and cold in the winter) and what to think (political correctness).

    If you don’t believe in their tenet of global warming — oops climate change — you are an unbeliever, an infidel as it were, a denier.

    They don’t have to send us non-subscribers to their religion to hell–they intend to make our live hell on earth through their idiotic rules and regulations.

    If it were only they themselves that had to follow their religion I wouldn’t care at all…but they want to force everyone to live by their ideals.

  • Dookiestain Laflair

    Why not just sit on the sink and wish your butt out like a normal person?

  • ThatDorkEricDraven

    @Dookie

    Hell, the sink? Why, I just wash mine in toilet water!

  • trace

    They dont wash or use tp, have you ever smelled a public bus?

  • Jodie

    It’s just as likely that people will “round up” and take an extra half sheet as they will “round down” and take a half sheet less toilet paper. I’m going to use the extra half sheet each time – just to mess with them./sarc

  • Seamus

    The designers of HowGee have obviously never been to the Sunday buffet at the Sizzler, or 50 cent Old Milwaukee draft night down at the old hotel.

  • SNuss

    In honor of this revolutionary new development, I suggest that B. Hussein Obama’s image be printed on each half-sheet, as the perfect tribute to the #1 half-assed Leftist.

  • SPURWING PLOVER

    If you university dum dums dont like using toilet paper use a pinecone on your tender little butthole

  • Unanimous

    ” Never undertake VAST projects with half-vast plans and ideas.”

  • Secret Squirrel

    SPURWING PLOVER

    They might like corn cobs better but they need to first remove it from there buttholes first.

  • Spurwing Plover

    The SIERRA CLUB is only for the stupid

  • Pete

    People will just use the same amount they used before.

    Its possible that its just entrepreneurial people trying to make money from moonbats…i have no problem with that.

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