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May 02 2012

Moonbat Raises Moral Objection to Eating Plants

Anyone far enough out there to oppose eating meat may as well take the next illogical step and question the morality of eating plants. Sorry about the pretentious wordiness; it’s from the New York Times:

Imagine a being capable of processing, remembering and sharing information — a being with potentialities proper to it and inhabiting a world of its own. Given this brief description, most of us will think of a human person, some will associate it with an animal, and virtually no one’s imagination will conjure up a plant.

Since Nov. 2, however, one possible answer to the riddle is Pisumsativum, a species colloquially known as the common pea. On that day, a team of scientists from the Blaustein Institute for Desert Research at Ben-Gurion University in Israel published the results of its peer-reviewed research, revealing that a pea plant subjected to drought conditions communicated its stress to other such plants, with which it shared its soil. In other words, through the roots, it relayed to its neighbors the biochemical message about the onset of drought, prompting them to react as though they, too, were in a similar predicament.

Supposedly, the plants may even remember what “adaptive responses” they used in the past when there wasn’t enough rain. Among those with nothing more pressing to worry about, this raises concerns:

Is it morally permissible to submit to total instrumentalization living beings that, though they do not have a central nervous system, are capable of basic learning and communication? Should their swift response to stress leave us coldly indifferent, while animal suffering provokes intense feelings of pity and compassion?

Evidently, empathy might not be the most appropriate ground for an ethics of vegetal life. But the novel indications concerning the responsiveness of plants, their interactions with the environment and with one another, are sufficient to undermine all simple, axiomatic solutions to eating in good conscience. When it comes to a plant, it turns out to be not only a what but also a who — an agent in its milieu, with its own intrinsic value or version of the good. Inquiring into justifications for consuming vegetal beings thus reconceived, we reach one of the final frontiers of dietary ethics.

If I’m making any sense of this overwritten balderdash, it is politically permissible for moonbats to eat the peas, but not the whole plant — and only if they find the peas growing in the wild. Here it is in the original liberalese:

The “renewable” aspects of perennial plants may be accepted by humans as a gift of vegetal being and integrated into their diets.

But it would be harder to justify the cultivation of peas and other annual plants, the entire being of which humans devote to externally imposed ends. In other words, ethically inspired decisions cannot postulate the abstract conceptual unity of all plants; they must, rather, take into account the singularity of each species.

Whether eating potatoes can be morally justified will be the subject of future pointy-headed pontifications, with corresponding federal regulations to follow.

give-peas-a-chance
What kind of monster would eat cute little peas?

On a tip from AC.

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  • TaterSalad

    Sorry but we don’t even consider “anything” that the New York Times writes about, talks about or gives their liberal and biased opinions. I hope they go bankrupt.

  • StanInTexas

    Imagine Whirrled Peas!

  • Seamus

    Peas porridge hot,
    Peas porridge cold.
    Peas porridge shut the hell up, hippie.

  • AC

    They’re coming to take me away, ha-haaa.
    They’re coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.
    To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time and I’ll be happy
    to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they’re coming
    to take me away, ha-haaa!!!
    To the happy home, with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket
    weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they’re
    coming to take me away, ha-haa!!!
    To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time…

  • whotothewhat

    Well their is a lot similarity between plants and the average left wing loon. I guess my backyard garden would be considered a killing field to peas and the now plant rights contingent of the ultra freaking loony left.

  • Doug

    Just like blunt and this website to create a straw man and deflect from the real issues, like Nazi Reich-wing thugs in white sheets gunning down innocent ten year old black children in the street whose only crime is drinking iced tea and eating skittles.

    /lao

  • CR

    Peas are one of my favorite veggies. Is there a way I can get them to scream as I eat? That would be awesome. Those jerks should get to work on that because I need more entertainment.

    I like the reference to “dietary ethics”. That includes the eating of dogs, correct?

  • Beef

    Since existence requires the consumption of other life, or at minimum competition for resources with other life, the only ethical moonbat solution is death.

    Therefore the ultimate solution to the quandries raised by moonbat philosophy is not to exist. I think, therefore I must not be.

  • B. Hussien Da Da, Preisdent for life

    But I told you to it’s time to EAT YOUR PEAS!!!!!!

  • blue

    well, can’t eat animals, can’t eat plants…that leaves Soylent Green – the renewable food source!!

  • Kevin
  • StanInTexas

    Beef, there are many in the Liberal community that advocate EXACTLY that “final solution”, whether it is a total wipe-out or just a thinning of the herd.

    The very interesting thing though, is how many of those very same people never seem to volunteer themselves or their families to be taken out of the gene-pool. It is always someone else or some other group that must make this sacrifice for the good of the planet, and NOT THEM.

  • LMMA

    Omg

  • wingmann

    Maybe he should hang out with the moonbat lady who tried to live off the sun.

    And btw…I’m in favor of whirled peas.

  • BeBe

    OK- We aren’t supposed to eat animals and now we aren’t supposed to eat plants?????? Just what ARE we supposed to eat???? Rocks? I wonder what this person eats? I know something I would like to tell them to eat! Eat sh**!!!!

  • Tempus_Fugit

    All we are saaaaaaaaying, is give peas a chance!

  • http://Huh? 70Stage1

    No Wingman, that scenario would have went like this:

    Moonbat Sun worshiper to the peas: “For some unknown reason, I’m weak and can’t move”.

    Peas: Spread your arms out a little wider if you can, so to catch more of those energetic sun rays”

    Moonbat sun worshiper: “I’ve been laying here for days and nothing seems to be working. I’m so weak….at this point, I’d even consider eating you peas”.

    Peas: “Don’t even think about it”. “I’m sending a biochemical message to my brother and sister plants that you are an idiot…….and to let you die”.

    Ants: “Woo Hoo….it’s about time. Dibs on her thighs”

  • JNN

    Just when I thought these people couldn’t get anymore pathetic they go and prove me wrong. Its time for us to be a little cynical and ruthless.
    Lets ask these people to prove how we should live by doing it themselves. Once their commune collapses, rub their faces in the fact that their BRILLIANT idea was a complete failure; just like the rest of their plans.

  • AC

    The moonbat sun worshipers may end up looking like this creature from New Jersey

  • Fiberal

    Oh man. I just had the grass cut again this week.
    Darn it, another genocide.

    So what do you bring to a funeral if it’s a funeral for a flower?

    Great. Now all the psychos are going to go out and eat more vegetables just to prove how macho they are.

    You know, Frank Zappa had it right. Call any vegetable- and the vegetable may respond to you.

    Well, all plants share the same DNA and genetic code with all animals. I mean, I know a lot of fruits and vegetables in NYC.

  • John Lewis

    Damn!!!! I am the founder of the Vegetable Liberation Front, its President, and, I thought, its sole member. I haven’t publicized it for fear of attracting loonies. Our slogan is, “EAT MEAT, NOT WHEAT”! And I do.

    But now some moonbats are starting a rival organization! Copycats!! Plagiarists! May they all die and fertilize the grass!!

    [ :-) :-) for the literalists].

  • Fiberal

    Eeeyoww!!

    AC, that is the last time I click on any of your links.

    What is that? Melanin envy?
    Talk about a raisin.

    That idiot alone could account for 70% of the rise in skin cancer this year.

    I was opposed to the tax on tanning booths bc of its blatant racial intent. I’ve changed my mind.

    AC, do your parents know what you look at?

    Uck….and I thought I had a strong stomach.

    I’m surprised her child isn’t black.

    What is that? Negro envy?

    Be funny however, if she forgot to tan (sic) the other side of her face.

  • http://moonbattery czuch

    I eat my peas with honey,
    I’ve done it all my life.
    It may sound kind of funny,
    but it keeps them on my knife.
    2012/2013

  • AC

    What is that? Negro envy?

    Worse. New Jersey.

  • http://Huh? 70Stage1

    Holy Moly Batman. Geez, that is one scary woman.

    Was in Fairbanks Alaska last year & saw a business called “Turbo Tan”. 20 minutes of conventional tanning in 30 seconds!!!! Sounds safe.

  • http://sbvor.blogspot.com/ SBVOR
  • Winston Smith

    Peas are best eaten with mashed potatoes. Mix the peas into with potatoes and they stick to your fork and dont roll off. Worse great with corn too.

  • KHarn

    I just keep thinking of the end of “Bridge On The River Kwai”:

    “Madness! Madness!”

  • chuck in st paul

    Obviously these people have wa-a-a-a-ay too much time on their hands. Another reason to get rid of welfare and student loans.

    Consider this: human animals eating veggies is unethical but animal animals eating veggies is okay. Human animals eating animal animals is unethical but animal animals eating animal animals is okay.

    Moonbat logic has all the logic one can base on Klein Bottle structures. I suppose in 11 dimension space time it makes sense. I refuse to do LSD so I can see it.

  • Martin Vorbrodt

    If only the same liberals showed the same level of compassion toward a being which does have a central nervous system, like, say, an unborn human baby…

  • http://www.thelooniverse.com harrie

    Hey guys, Roald Dahl was 50 years ahead of you. But his imagination was way better.

  • bobdog

    No peas, no justice!

  • Bob Roberts

    Don’t you all know? We’re not supposed to eat meat. We’re not supposed to eat plants.

    We’re supposed to exist on sunshine alone! And maybe a little water now and then.

  • 762×51

    A 2006 research study conducted by the bastion of conservatism, UC Berkeley, found that random air samples contain as many as 1800 different types of bacteria. Add to this other airborne organisms such as mold, fungi(also plants) and virus and and you are killing thousands of microorganisms with every breath.

    I think this jag off should just do the right thing and stop breathing.

  • Tim from TK

    The typical leftist would object to eating vegetables as it would be considered cannibalism.

  • Chris in N.Va.

    From an old folk song:
    Johnson boys eat peas and honey
    They have done it all their life
    Makes those peas taste might funny
    But it keeps them on the knife.

    ***
    Logical extension of radical Earth First wet-dream —
    Can’t eat any living thing, therefore you simply die.
    Zero carbon footprint has thus been achieved.
    Mother Gaia Earth is pleased and can now revert to pre-human (and never-more-climate-changed!) state.

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