To the countless reasons we need to exercise our natural right to bear arms we can now add the bath salt zombie apocalypse:
Horrific assaults in which users of a substance known as ‘bath salts’ have eaten victims’ flesh have given rise to speculation that America is in the throes of a ‘zombie apocalypse’. …
Bath salts have been linked to a number of disturbing cases over the past month – including that of Rudy Eugene, who was shot dead by police as he bit off most of his homeless victim’s face. Officers in Miami opened fire after Eugene ignored their orders to stop, snarling at them as he stood over 65-year-old Ronald Poppo, who was left partially blind.
Other colorful incidents inspired by bath salts include:
In Lafayette, Louisiana, 42-year-old Carl Jacquneaux is alleged to have torn off part of his neighbour’s cheek – and is believed to have taken bath salts or a similar drug. Todd Credeur, 48, is married to Jacquneaux’s ex-wife and said he only managed to escape by spraying wasp poison in the man’s face.
Meanwhile, again in Miami, homeless Brandon de Leon threatened to eat a police officer after he was arrested during a fight at a restaurant. The 21-year-old gnashed his teeth, growled and tried to bite the man, who was tending to his self-inflicted wounds after he smashed his own head against the inside of a patrol car and then on the walls of a cell.
And on June 12, a 35-year-old mother punched and choked her young son while under the influence of bath salts. After beating the three-year-old, Pamela McCarthy was pictured rampaging naked through the streets of Munnsville, New York, as she attacked her neighbours and strangled one of her dogs. …
Just this weekend a 20-year-old man allegedly hit a 77-year-old woman over the head with a shovel after she asked him to stop swinging it at birds. Robert William White, who had to be shot with a Taser and a rubber bullet after taking bath salts, told police in Glendale, California, that he was an alien and could talk to Jesus.
Not to worry, Big Government is on top of it. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued this soothing statement:
“CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms).”
There is only one form of conflict resolution that should be relied on if you encounter a bath salt zombie. It requires you to think ahead by obtaining a concealed carry permit in advance.
On tips from AC.