Under Rule by Bleeding Heart Lunatics, Pigs Fly
It isn’t easy for our moonbat rulers to top the totalitarian do-gooder absurdity of forcing restaurants to allow horses inside, but they are certainly trying:
Pot-bellied pigs must be granted passage on airplanes if they are used for “emotional support” by their owners, states the Department of Transportation’s (DOT) draft manual on equity for the disabled in air travel.
The DOT published its “Nondiscrimination on the Basis of Disability in Air Travel: Draft Technical Assistance Manual” in the Federal Register on July 5, providing guidance that allows swine on airplanes if they are determined to be service animals.
What happens when the pig wants to squirt out some smelly greenish brown goo?
Carriers must also provide “relief areas” for service animals. “With respect to terminal facilities you own, lease, or control at a U.S. airport, you must, in cooperation with the airport operator, provide relief areas for service animals that accompany passengers with a disability who are departing, arriving, or connecting at an airport on your flights,” the manual states.
This gives an idea of how federal regulations manage to cost us close to $2,000,000,000,000.00 per year (PDF).
Pot-bellied pigs weigh as much as 300 pounds. Disabilities can include psychiatric ailments that boil down to being weird.
There are some limits to the insanity — for now:
Though pot-bellied pigs are permissible, the DOT forbids some animals from aircraft. “As a U.S. carrier, you are not required to carry certain unusual service animals in the aircraft cabin such as ferrets, rodents, spiders, snakes and other reptiles,” it states.
However, it is only a matter of time before someone with a pet rattlesnake and an emotional “disability” sues because they don’t allow snakes on planes.
Horses and monkeys are already allowed. No really.
Yet passengers are strictly forbidden to bring shampoo in containers larger than 3 ounces. We can’t have anarchy in the skies, you know.
Ham-fisted government edicts have so many unintended consequences that it was only a matter of time until they finally produced a beneficial one. Pigs on planes could help ward off Muslims.
On tips from Gary A and Varla.
Well, if muslims don’t like dogs or pigs…….
Exactly Aussie-John…
But.. isn’t that grounds for discrimination? They are offending muslim sensibilities. Stoning and shooting innocent women A-OKAY. Dogs and pigs- BLASPHEMY!Grouunds for a JIHAD! ALLA U ACKBAR!
What about bats?
“Ham-fisted government edicts have so many unintended consequences that it was only a matter of time until they finally produced a beneficial one. Pigs on planes could help ward off Muslims.”
But only if they are being served to the passengers.
Pigs fly at my house several times a month, from the fridge right into my smoker. A little brown sugar and hickory smoke takes all the fight out of them.
Served with BBQ sauce and pepper-jack cheese, hell yeah.
Now I can take my pet wolverine on my next trip.
Gives a whole new meaning to “drug mule.”
Seriously, why not force-feed money, drugs or plastic explosives into an animal? One, they can’t talk. Two, if perchance the thing does croak mid-flight, blame it on air pressure. Three, alive or dead, slicing the thing open to get your loot would take mere minutes instead of the typical 24 hours for a human.
I’m trowing in with Aussie-John and justme – pigs will fly, at least until CAIR or ISNA has a public conniption fit over it.
I wonder if I could take Max with me, My Wiem. Yes I`m emotionally damaged as in I like his company more than 90% of the people I know. But then again if TSA touched his junk. he just might Bite. He dosen`t swing that way.
By way of metaphor, let’s hope the shark is Romney.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-E6HLweVN0
The real life Monte Python’s flying circus
BTW, as far as pigs go, this is the only way to fly
The real life Monte Python’s flying circus
BTW, as far as pigs go, this is the only way to fly
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4rWqhJQV8c
…when Pigs fly…
There’s a phrase that has taken on all new meaning since 2008.
Monkeys? Seriously? Are the cockpits monkey secured?
Seriously, they are Hell to try to keep caged up and some can be trained to fly better than certain muzzie terrorists were…
On the bright side, it means that planes will no longer be halal or whatever, and muzzies won’t board ‘em.
Where the hell are we now? INDIA??
I have 2 pet rats in my house. I find the cute little fuzzy critters to be quite calming after a stressful day. (think Ratatouli movie not albino lab rat)
I demand my rights! rats on planes! my health is at stake.
Pigs are meant to be BBQ’d ! Come to think of it, so are Muslims.
I need my horse to live.
My horse can’t live without a pasture to graze in and a maverick to chase.
All airplanes must submit to my needs to seat my horse, and all airports must have a pasture with a calf in it.
I am liberal. I am stupid. I demand it. If I don’t get it. I WILL SUE YOU INTO DUST!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupidity has spoken. Give me your money.
Well…at least those flights will be free a raghead terrorists, huh? Sign me up….
In some countries they follow he animals around so they can eat fresh steaming crap as it hits the ground. Just like this garbage!
LOL! I hadnt thought about the pigs being Muslim repellants. Perhaps there should be one running up and down the aisles sniffing for explosives? Pigs apparently can be used in a manner similar to dogs and have a better sense of smell. Israelis came up with this kick ass idea 10 years ago. Plus it would keep the Moose Limbs away.
[...] Under Rule by Bleeding Heart Lunatics, Pigs Fly [...]
Soon planes will resemble the stereotypical South American local-yokel bus, replete with squawking chickens and a few goats.
Then again, I can’t wait for someone to be deemed psychologically-dependent upon the need to feel personally “secure” at all times, thereby providing the medically-documented rationale for him/her to be able to fly armed with multiple handguns, a combat survival knife and a hand grenade or two in a carry-on satchel, just to be on the safe side.
A part from the idea that having a pig on plane might actually ward of a Muslim terrorist or as Obama likes to call them “his peeps.” Flying has already been lowered to that of a Grey Hound bus trip. So flying pigs no big surprise there.
Don’t want to fly? Get a BARACKO…
I think that they have acidentally made flights safer.if we put a pig on every flight , maybe weould do away with the TSA.
I’ve always said that if we put out a propaganda campaign that said all of our amunition was sprayed with pigs blood , maybe the lunatics would flee the battlefield
OMG–something worse than sitting next to a muffin-top, pot-bellied 300 lb man. A muffin-top, 300 lb. pot-bellied PIG. (At least pigs can’t sweat–guess that’s a blessing.) Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse! Will they force the pig’s owner to buy a seat for himself and two seats for the large pig?
They want to force overweight folks to pay for two seats. Kind of like the large person who had to purchase 2 seats and they were in different rows (bureaucratic nonsense).
And speaking of pigs not sweating–that is why they have to wallow in mud to cool their bodies. Where will the companion pig wallow? Will there be mud pits on all flights? Also, as mentioned above where will the pig relieve itself?
EEeeewww. I have rethought the issue of a sweaty 300 lb. muffin-top guy. I can deal with sweat.
But now they must also allow muslims to bring their
seeing-eye miniature horsies….
I envision that every time a pig poops in the airport, it will be considered a HazMat situation, followed by passengers being rescreened.
Have any of these official decision-makers ever been to a farm? Have they ever smelled the pig-pen? I don’t care who says that pigs are really, really clean animals–they are full of pig-poop. (The pigs are full of pig-poop of course. The misguided decision-makers are full of horse or bull poop.)