Time for an official update to the Newspeak dictionary. The words teenager and teen have been redefined to mean “black hooligan involved in rioting, looting, or mob violence.” An example of proper usage from the city that gave us Obama:
A mob of more than 20 teenagers descended on a trendy Wicker Park shop on Saturday and made off with more than $3,000 worth of jeans.
It took cops 30 minutes to respond to the 911 call by the storeowner, who at least maintained his sense of humor:
Luke Cho said he hopes the [video] images help police find the robbers, or maybe even shame the parents of the teens enough that they’ll turn the kids in.
If I can’t grasp the difference between voting for Obama and looting businesses in person, it’s doubtful the welfare mammas or anonymous absentee daddies of the “teens” can either.
On tips from Bob Roberts, Artfldgr, Shawn, and AC.