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Aug 06 2012

Chicken Offsets

If anything could be almost as ridiculous as neurotic liberals buying off their guilt for not living in a tree by purchasing carbon offsets, it could only be a shyster/activist selling chicken offsets to moonbats who want to support the militant homosexual agenda yet can’t resist the tasty food at Chick-fil-A:

Hi! I’m Ted Frank and I love the chicken sandwiches at Chick-fil-A. But I also like my gay-married friends and don’t like the guilt of indirectly supporting Chick-fil-A’s stance on gay rights. And I know there are lots of other people in the same boat. So I’ve started ChickenOffset.com. Every time you buy a chicken-sandwich meal at Chick-fil-A, you can buy an “offset” here. You can print out the receipt and demonstrate to your friends that the money you gave for LGBT youth more than compensates for the profits you put in Chick-fil-A’s coffers. $1 gets you 1 chicken-meal offset; $6 for ten offsets. We promise to send at least 90% of the proceeds (and will almost certainly send more than that) after our minimal expenses to It Gets Better and the Williams Institute.

“LGBT youth” refers to the ongoing liberal campaign to recruit children into the disgusting and exceedingly unhealthy homosexual lifestyle.

Alternatively, opponents of the sanctity of holy matrimony can balance their trips to Chick-fil-A with purchases to Amazon, whose founder Jeff Bezos recently devoted $2.5 million to reducing marriage to an unholy farce in Washington State.

Spicy-Chicken-Deluxe-Sandwich-from-Chick-fil-A
Not even moonbats can resist Chick-fil-A.

On a tip from AC.

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  • Mickey Shea

    Yeah, like those commercials that show abused animals so
    people kick in to the ASPCA when in reality the bucks are going into the lawyers and execs bank accounts and retirement funds. Kill all lawyers now.

  • dan

    LBGT youth…a division of NAMBLA

  • FrankW

    Hi! I’m Frank and I love the chicken sandwiches at Chick-fil-A. Every time you make a donation to LGBT&W (W=Wierd), you can buy an “offset” from me. I will volunteer myself to go out and do something not all related to sexual gratification (well maybe the occasional trip to Hooters). Just send me a prepaid credit card (gift cards work also) and I will spend it as I see fit.
    Out of every dollar I receive at least one dollar will be spent in a way the pleases me. Thank you.
    P.S.
    The only feeling you will receive is the lighter wallet.

  • Doug

    Buying offsets not sandwiches, they don’t get to enjoy a little extra spunky sauce to their blood sausage or schegma-sauce for their fur burger.

  • Jeff

    Buying offsets? Sounds like a con game to scam some stupid people out of their money: Give me your money, and I’ll let you stroke your own ego, to feel supior to other people.
    The open hatered and hostility towards those who hold the tradition Christian world views growing daily. As for my fellow Christians: Dear brothers and sisters in Christ, would you please pull your heads out of your collective asses. They really do hate you and they want you dead. They are coming for you. By the way, things WILL get much much worse. Now stop living in denial and start making plans. It is much later than you think.

  • jj

    I will definitely be curtailing my business with Amazon as I did with Paypal. So long Bezos!

  • http://www.brycchancarey.com/abolition/wilberforce.htm Wilberforce

    This has got to be Michael Moore in disguise. Nobody is better at playing off og idiotic liberal guilt transfer syndrome than he is.

  • Uncle Pinko

    Jeff says: “They really do hate you and they want you dead. They are coming for you. By the way, things WILL get much much worse. Now stop living in denial and start making plans. It is much later than you think.”

    Wow, that’s some real good crazy, right there.

  • Uncle Pinko

    Oh, and Jeff, you are a follower of Christ? If Jesus saw the things you were saying in his name, I’m quite sure {OBSCENE COMMENT FROM TROLL WHO HAS NOW BEEN BANNED DELETED}

  • Doug

    I see Auntie Commie has a shit fetish. Why don’t you hop on down to Wendy’s and paint “Tastes like my Boyfriend’s anus” on the wall? Hmmmmm?

  • Dupree

    And here I thought indulgences died in the dark ages. Anyone still arguing the liberalism isn’t a religion?

  • Doug

    Exactly Dupree. And Auntie Commie will tell you herself that instead of bread for communion, they pass around a plate of feces.

    “Oh I see you did eat some corn yesterday Bishop Barney Frank.”

  • Uncle Pinko

    I have a shit fetish, Doug? Quit projecting. You jump at the chance to use the word anus. Why are you so obsessed with them?

  • Doug

    I QUOTE:

    “If Jesus saw the things you were saying in his name, I’m quite sure he would {DELETED}.”

  • FrankW

    uncie stinkie has been added to the lao list. Simultaneously raising the aggregate IQ here and lowering it there.

  • Lazlo

    Great Scott, why didn’t I think of this? I’d gleefully separate moonbats from their ill gotten lucre.

  • Lazlo

    Of course, I’d pocket the money and spend it on hookers and booze. Non of this LGBT degenerate nonsense.

  • Alan

    Like Chicken sandwiches but don’t like Chick-Fil-A? Eat at Popeye’s. Or McDonald’s or Wendy’s or a dozen other places. Problem solved.

    There’s a CFA two blocks from where I work but I never eat there. I’m not gay. That CFA is drive-thru only, and I like to sit down in a dining room when I have lunch. Next story please.

  • Jodie

    Here’s a nice little tribute song for Chick-Fil-A:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWFjoC_luno

  • TonyD95B

    RE: Jodie at August 6, 2012 at 6:48 pm:

    “Here’s a nice little tribute song for Chick-Fil-A….”

    I think somebody ought to parody the Dire Straits tune, “Money For Nothin’”

    “Money For Nothin’, get your Chick-Fil-A……”

    The song has already been declared “non-PC” due to the imagined “anti-gay” lyrics.

    Anybody feeling creative out there?

  • Jimbo

    Silly, silly liberals. They’re too stupid to vote.

  • Lib

    Speaking out against and boycotting anti-LGBT businesses somehow violates their free speech.

    But doing the same exact thing to pro-LGBT businesses is the purest form of free speech.

    Wingnuts actually believe this. Yes, they really are that stupid.

  • FrankW

    Wingnuts are stupid???? This coming from the CFA offset crowd.
    Please find one case (documented, not “accurate but faked”) where CFA has discriminated against a customer based on their proclivity for alternate sexual expression. The CEO has an opinion on the gayness issue and for that CFA has been vandalized, ridiculed, and portrayed as the next hitler (even though the next hitler is from venezuela). Not to mention the interference to business operations. If this were done to a gay business it would have been prosecuted.

  • Doug

    “Lib” is just a dumber version of Unkle Pinknuts. You’ll have to forgive her.

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