If anything could be almost as ridiculous as neurotic liberals buying off their guilt for not living in a tree by purchasing carbon offsets, it could only be a shyster/activist selling chicken offsets to moonbats who want to support the militant homosexual agenda yet can’t resist the tasty food at Chick-fil-A:
Hi! I’m Ted Frank and I love the chicken sandwiches at Chick-fil-A. But I also like my gay-married friends and don’t like the guilt of indirectly supporting Chick-fil-A’s stance on gay rights. And I know there are lots of other people in the same boat. So I’ve started ChickenOffset.com. Every time you buy a chicken-sandwich meal at Chick-fil-A, you can buy an “offset” here. You can print out the receipt and demonstrate to your friends that the money you gave for LGBT youth more than compensates for the profits you put in Chick-fil-A’s coffers. $1 gets you 1 chicken-meal offset; $6 for ten offsets. We promise to send at least 90% of the proceeds (and will almost certainly send more than that) after our minimal expenses to It Gets Better and the Williams Institute.
“LGBT youth” refers to the ongoing liberal campaign to recruit children into the disgusting and exceedingly unhealthy homosexual lifestyle.
Alternatively, opponents of the sanctity of holy matrimony can balance their trips to Chick-fil-A with purchases to Amazon, whose founder Jeff Bezos recently devoted $2.5 million to reducing marriage to an unholy farce in Washington State.
On a tip from AC.