House Taken Over by Protected Vultures
In a country ruled by left-wing lawyers, you could hardly expect the authorities to side with citizens against vultures:
When birds of a feather flock together, it’s a major headache for Dave and Judy Harting — but there’s nothing the Florida homeowners can do about the gang of federally protected vultures that have overstayed their welcome.
The Hartings moved into their home last year, and so did nearly 50 vultures, who gather on the roof and deck and in the yard.
Black vultures are not only hideous and unclean but gigantic; they leave behind a gigantic mess. Naturally, federal and state law protects them against taxpayers, preventing the Hartings from taking effective action to reclaim their property.
Not to worry; benevolent Big Government will always hand you a free crutch after it breaks your leg. This time it comes in the form of useful advice from Gretchen Caudil of the Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission, who suggests they scare away the monstrous creatures by making “a lifelike mount of a vulture hanging upside down.”
Buying an actual stuffed vulture for this would no doubt constitute a federal crime, to judge by the preposterous case of an artwork for which the government demands $29.2 million in death taxes but will not allow to be sold because it contains a dead protected bird.
Too bad the Hartings can’t hang some bureaucrats upside down. It wouldn’t be any more likely than the “lifelike mount” to scare away the vultures, but at least it would give them a suitable place to perch.
On a tip from AC.
Looks like a group photo of IRS bureaucrats waiting for your April 15th check.
Its funny perhaps these vultures have a sense the end is near. To bad they were not hanging out at the DNC convention.
Endangered bird species are not at the top of the moonbattery pecking order. That place is held by the wind turbine. The Hartings might try putting up one of those.
The Hartings soultion to this is simple. They need to donate heavily to the Democrat, who will in turn send out a few Union Goons to make the vultures an offer they cannot refuse.
Either that, or turn the vultures over to PETA, who will ethically kill them!
Of course, an appropriate amount of melathion, found at any farm store, would, I believe, shortly expropriate the homeowners of their visitors. Not that I would ever recommend such a thing.
There is no eveidence that black vultures or turkey vultures are endangered species, yet they are protected by government bureaucrats. Why? Simple…professional courtesy.
A .22 bolt action and a handful of CB shorts in the dead of night, a few trash bags. Shoot, Shovel, Shut the hell up.
America = FUBAR
speaking of vultures,
http://dailykenn.com/page20120905a.htm
fubar is right.
a society where a carrion eating bird of prey is more highly prized then future human beings.
This country is borderline retarded for ALLOWING things like this to happen to us!
Can’t you envision the Founding Fathers acquiescing in this situation? Hell,for that matter,ANYBODY IN SANER TIMES????
These mean and nasty vultures are no match for a sparrow.
Did you hear anything? I didn’t. It must be the sweet sound of peace and quiet.
S.S.S.
Ok. First off I have to say I’m no moonbat. Second. I actually like and respect vultures. I found out through my own research they are not dirty and in fact because of their cleaning habits and bathing they may be cleaner than your average jay. They can leave a mess tho. Heres something the homeowners can do. Vultures are notoriously shy. They can use that to their advantage by creating a situation where they won’t want to hang around. Go out into the yard frequently, make noise, if you have a dog let it run around, etc. Don’t know what their property looks like but if I were them and didn’t want them around I’d make them awfully uncomfortable. They’ll move on to a place where they will be less bothered eventually. Also, here in Florida we have a lot of resident cultures but there are tons of migratory ones too. If these just appeared recently then they are probably passing through. Same rules tho. Don’t let them get comfortable and they’ll move on.
I see these things soaring around near my house all the time. I like to watch them fly. The first time I saw one on the ground, I was shocked. They’re huge. I wouldn’t want them hanging around my yard. I think a couple pounds of nasty spoiled ground beef mixed with a little rat poison would do the trick. They’ll eat it, then fly away and die somewhere else. Problem solved.
Their first problem is they complained instead of just taking care of it. When I get flocks of birds in the fall, my first round is one of those crackle ball fireworks. That works amazingly well for the little ones, but if it didn’t for these things, I’d be getting some good practice with my suppressed .22 air rifle. I realize they have their place in the ecosystem, but their ecosystem isn’t invited in my yard.
Catblaster says:
Suburban Fort Myers is not vulture habitat.
These nasty birds will feed on garbage and present a hazard to motorists by feeding on roadkill.
They damage property with their claws and droppings.
They can spread disease.
Firecrackers and noise makers will only move the vultures to another home. The flock must be thinned out to prevent conflict with humans. That conflict is inevitable because humans need a place to live.
The state is overrun with vultures. The species is not threatened in any way.
At one point, Florida alligators were an endangered species. Common sense laws and basic population stewardship has restored the population. Today, it is not even on a concern list. Nuisance alligators are frequently removed to prevent chaos in human areas.
The laws for vultures should be updated to reflect the lack of any vulture shortage.
The only practical problem I can see with shooting a vulture is the bullet’s backstop. With a good angle, the shot will neither endanger other humans nor the species.
Vultures? I thought that was Colon and Farrakhan surrounded by body guards.
Government bureaucrats only protect the vultures out of professional courtesy.
Mr Evilwrench says:
September 5, 2012 at 10:59 am
Their first problem is they complained instead of just taking care of it. When I get flocks of birds in the fall, my first round is one of those crackle ball fireworks. That works amazingly well for the little ones, but if it didn’t for these things, I’d be getting some good practice with my suppressed .22 air rifle. I realize they have their place in the ecosystem, but their ecosystem isn’t invited in my yard.
Evil – The suppressed .22 air rifle was exactly what I was going to suggest. In the dead of night, accidents happen, no muss, no fuss, no bother. Bag em and drag em, problem solved.
The real problem here is the Hartings called government for help, fools. Try solving your own problems people and screw the government.
“Catblaster says:September 5, 2012 at 10:44 am”
“Harassing a protected species” is a CRIME, punishable by fine AND/OR imprisonment. Any more suggestions?
Greetings from Florida. I bought a house in the suburbs last year and on the 4th of July watched people up the street shooting off real, professional-grade fireworks. Legal? Yes, if you sign a waiver – with a straight face – that you’re using them to scare birds and other varmints off your property.
http://miami.about.com/od/governmentcityservices/a/Fireworks-Laws-In-Florida.htm
http://www.tampabay.com/news/localgovernment/article1014891.ece
Ker-boom.
By being so overbearing about things like this, they endanger the animals more than otherwise. If you see these things around your yard and know what your enviromn”mental” overlords would do to you, it becomes very tempting to shoot, shovel and shut up.
Who said anything about harassing? These critters are very shy. Just freaking go out in your yard frequently, borrow a neighbors dog, makes noise. I have a couple of birds of prey that routinely hang out too close for comfort (I have a small dog) and all I have to do is take a few steps and he’s gone. Vultures have very weak feet and they generally hop or wobble when they walk. Unless your fence is made of jello they aren’t going to scratch it any more than tree rats, possums, or raccoons. From reliable research:
“Turkey vultures are surprisingly sanitary in other ways. Most disease-causing bacteria found in carrion are destroyed in their digestive tracts, even anthrax. Such pathogens can survive passing through the digestive systems of coyotes, rats, and other scavengers, thereby spreading infection. So it’s unfortunate that turkey vultures have been persecuted as carriers of disease, which they actually help control.
Even their urine kills bacteria, and after poking around in a carcass, the birds keep their legs clean by urinating on themselves. This habit—called urohidrosis—has another salubrious purpose; the liquid evaporating off their legs chills their bodies. Storks use urohidrosis to keep cool too, and research has shown turkey vultures may be more closely related to storks than birds of prey, with whom they’ve previously been grouped.”. Yes, if there are a bunch of them it’s annoying. And a bit creepy. (as I found out when a flock appeared shortly after I started smelling something decaying in the woods behind our house). For three days our house looked like a horror movie. They were in the trees, on fences, and there’s nothing like hearing them thumping across your roof. Eek!!! But use their behavior and fears to your advantage. Also, may want to check and make sure there’s nothing close by attracting them like garbage dumps ( which in Florida also attract juvenile bald eagles by the dozens and if you think vultures are. It and messy) and seagulls (a truly messy bird).