Sep
22
2012
Caption Contest
Leave a comment providing the winning caption to the picture above and win a free Moonbattery.com t-shirt, suitable for any formal occasion, courtesy of the esteemed countermoonbats at Party Crasher.
The winner will be announced Monday. Free shirts need to be claimed within a week (i.e., I need a mailing address). T-shirts for the contest are available in blue L or XL only, although white shirts and other sizes are available directly from Party Crasher, along with an excellent selection of other t-shirts guaranteed to cause moonbats to sputter with impotent rage. All shirts are currently at least 20% off.
On a tip from Sean C.
[...] need to be claimed within a week (i.e., I need a mailing address). T-shirts for the contest [...] Moonbattery Tags: caption, contest Posted in Pundits | No Comments [...]
“When my husband is re-elected my a$$ will be THIS BIG!”
or… “Barry STFU, I’m talking!”
Calm down, calm down, my friends, in the media! If you don’t report what went down in Libya, they will never know and everything will be fine.
5…$5…5 $5 Cheese logs…They keep me going “strong”!
Ok, let’s play guess who I am from the original Star Trek series.
http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=salt+vampire&view=detail&id=6858D260EB5FBEB736C57B1770C46922F4568814
Let me tell you about the biggest lie that Barack told me.
The Predator uncloaks to once again wreak havoc on unsuspecting humans.
“…and then I said to Bathhouse Barry, whoa – ain’t no way I’m having a sex change operation if you get reelected…”
Then I approached Captain Kirk, saying “Salt! I need salt!”
“I put a spell on you, and now you’re mine, oh yea.”
And then I said “All THIS for a damned flag?!!!”
Nancy Crater got nuthin on ME, yo!
And right in front of Leno I said to Gabby Douglas, “Girl, your booty gonna be this big, you keep eatin’ at McDonalds”.
When I visited Africa, I ate a fried fat cake this big.
“Hulk smash wealthy who don’t pay fair share”
So I tell Han that I got this and I grab that Stormtrooper’s feet in this hand and his head in the other and say make a wish…..
Fred Sanford: Listen, Esther. In the first place, you can’t enter that contest because your not eligible. See one of the things you have to be is a part of a certain race.
Woody Anderson: What race?
Fred Sanford: Human!
Boomshakalaka!
“Once Barack spread Honkies wealth all around, I is gonna get me one big ass burger drippin’ with bar-bq sauce….daaaaaaayummmmm niggaz!”
While this is not an Obamacare tax, if not repealed, this will be chumpchange….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gw-iEy5LPpo
Okay, wait a min. I was told there would be teleprompters here for me…
“Seriously, Buh-rock told me his schlong was THIS long!”
Semper Fi’
DM
“Yes Senator, this is important so stop interrupting! So anyway, then the wolf said, ‘I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house in’…”
I need another vacation.
“…and next term, the national debt will grow by THIS many trillion…”
Addenda to mine: “And IMAGINE my disappointment!”
Semper Fi’
DM
“So then Barry said he would have to stap a 2×4 across his skinny behind to keep from fallin’ in.”
You mean I have to pay it all back?
Sista – you got nothin’. My ass is THIS big, bitch.
Then you show your teeth and roar like a lion,it’ll scare the bejebus out of those nasty tea partiers.
“…we cooked them over an open pit, then we danced in the moonlight, and then, we ate them. The bones too, all of it, nothing was left”.
Barack’s ego is THIS big!
“I wish my broom was big enough to give you all a ride”
”So I walk in and Barry’s got Bo lifted up–like this–and he’s about to take a big ol’ bite! I told him, ‘Remember, Barry, you got to at least PRETEND to be American. That only flies in Kenya.”
Second entry: ”Back in Chicago, Barry brought home this dude from Man’s Country. The kid’s dong was THIS BIG–and Barry wouldn’t share!”
“Okay, where is my damn security detail? This dinner is for Hispanics, we need to remove all the knives and forks!”
Then I sez “Devil, come out!!”
Sam Adams says:
September 22, 2012 at 11:01 am
Then I approached Captain Kirk, saying “Salt! I need salt!”
Nice, yet obscure Star Trek reference, now if only her name was Nancy.
As I saw the picture of the Bitter Half, Sister Christian by Night Ranger came on the radio, even though this sister ain’t no Christianlp[. So with that as the backdrop . . .
“I cast thee out unclean Republicans”
“Come at me, bro!!!”
Shtrugglin
“Eat as I say, not as I do, and no my ass is actually this big!!!”
Moochelle’s imiatation of a scared beaver dressed up like a sofa.
Vampires don’t like fat people. What are we supposed to do, use a straw?
I was never a big fan of putting human clothes on animals, It’s just unnatural.
Hey, you’d have arms like She-Hulk too if you had to pull your pants up over that ass.
Yo Mooch, Conan the Barbarian called..he wants his belt back.
“So Barack’s in Air Force 1 here and I’m like right behind him in Air Force2 here..see..”
An up jumped a monkey from the coconut grove,
He was a bad mother trucker by the cut of his clothes…
The Pimp with a Limp
I swear Oprahs ass is this Big!
Girls, ah be tellin y’all, it be dis big!
Does this husband make my ass look big?
Lazarus, I command thee, rise in the name of Barack.
Just try and stay out of my way. Just try! I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!
Moonbattery presents: “Messin’ with Sasquatch”.
HEY, YO, Y’ALL SIT! NOW! AND STFU! Man, Chicago kindergarten be rough.
Seriously, the rusted hole in Barak’s floor board was this big! I couldn’t fit my ass in it!
This is Hillary’s ass! Man, dat beech be havin one fat ass.
“America has a headache this big… and it’s got Obama written all over it.”
Everybody has heard the stereotype concerning black men. Well I am here to tell you that the only thing this large on Barack is his ego.
Obama’s EEOC harasses small coffee operation in Massachusetts. I guess Marylou didn’t build it…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOJRgvWxiU8
Rrrrrrr rrrraaaahhh rrrrrrggghhhhnn.
OOOH OOOH AHHHHH AHHHHH. RACISM! OOOH OOOH AHHHHH AHHHH 1% OOOH OOOH AHHHH AHHHH RACISM! OOOH OOOH AHHHHH AHHHH 1%. Moochelle Angry, when Moochelle Angry Moochelle CHIMPOUT SMASH!!!!!!
Before I got skinny my a$$ was t-h-i-s big!
It was all like, BAM! And then I stole that shower curtain from the Motel 6 and made me this fine-ass dress!
This is why Barry calls me ‘Manchelle’….
Heghjaj Harbe’wI’pu’!!!!
That’s “death to infidels” in Klingon.
DM
“And Allah sent His son Barrack to weaken the great nation, and spread Islam through out the world!”
Moochelle tells us how she’ll feel about America when Obama loses
“I swear I laid a turd this big in the ladies bathroom!”
Predator X. Unfortunately, coming to a theater near you.
I’ve been communicating with Marie Lá Veau and she’s going to put a curse on all those conservatives…ummmm. It be a good day.
You want to know about the bitter half??? I AM THE BITTER HALF!
No 1. “…and when Barry did that, I was Almost THIS proud of America; except for all you teaparty racists who think that America is supposed to be great or something…”
No 2. “…and so I told him, you gotta take that wrinkly old Constitution and just rip it to shreds like THIS…”
When cooking dog. I use nothing bigger than this.. BBQ size.
Caption: “Better step back!…I got a little Wookie in me”
“10 Trillion is so freaking big that we just stopped counting…”
The caption is:
“OOoga Booga! Ooga Booga! Mooocha want Cheezboog! Cheezboog!
Speaking to a group of disgruntled junior high students boycotting their Michellunches, Michelle Obama invoked her authority by proclaiming,
“The president has a big stick!”
Chip in ten bucks (or whatever you can) and you will be healed!!
“It’s okay! Nobody puked on me. That’s my shirt!”
“Mooch in the box is the gift every Lib. will want to give this year. Just place it near decent American values & watch it destroy!”
And then the waves parted, and then……
“… and then Barry ordered FIVE pieces of chicken, and FIVE pieces of watermelon…”
I have some exciting news for you today, my fellow Americans. As part of my “Partnership for a Healthier America” plan, there will no longer be any wide Caucasian asses.
Let me be clear, if you are white and your ass is this big, you will be sent to a food re-education camp. Where you will learn proper eating habits. Or you will die.
“The brontasaurus burger i ate was this big, and i was still hungry”
I tossed his nappy ass out ‘an I said, “Reggie…stayaway from my man!”
“This hopey-changey thing is gonna be… it’s gonna be… HUGE!!”
My dress? Well, I took Barbara’s damn curtains down off our White House bedroom windows and laid them out on my sewing table like this.
Okay, so as i was saying.. Its important to remember when the IRS Commissar arrives to confiscate your fair share of taxes for redistribution, Keep calm and raise your hands slowly with your fingers spread like this…
When Barack said “punish your enemies”, he meant spend an hour with me, The Bitter Half.
Now, I tole you, I TOLE you how big I wanted that buffet, why you ain’t listen to me? Crackas.
Shit…dem Burgers was THIS BIG, & you shoulda seen da fries!
“Yah I could be President, but who wants to clean up after THIS mess?”
“Barry calls me his little ‘Bitler’”.
Three steps to an 8 year Obama Legendary Presidency:
1. Swallow hard.
2. Puke.
3. Repeat.
All Ya Gots To Do is Swipe Your EBT
When I get mad at Barack, I pull this far out on both his ears!
“So the plate of hot wings is like THIS big, right…and Paula Deen is all ‘it’s only a two minute commercial break, you’ll never finish’em’….but I showed her..”
“This one time..at the Chicago hospital..I grabbed two of those bums..I had one uninsured, poor sicko in each hand and I flung open the doors and threw them out to the curb!”
“Then I says: ‘No officer, I did not steal this dress….I wasn’t even near those circus tents!”
“What do mean no prehensile thumbs?..I got ‘em bitch, see?”
“Okay, okay…everybody just sit back down. Excuse me. I ate weird stuff this morning. We’ll get some fans going up here in just a minute.”
“Then I says to Barack: ‘All this for a f’ing flag’”
“So I takes each of their heads like this. But just before I slam them together, I says ‘Barack…this thing here with Reggie Love is gotta stop.’”
C’mon, kill me! Kill me now! I’m right hea! Get to the choppa!!
“So I was going to go as this on Halloween, but the kids say it’s too scary.”
I smoked a crack rock this big
Whats opposing thumbs mean?
“So when you got all dem white devils lined up with their hands pressed against the wall–you gat ‘em!bapbapbapbapbapBappp!!”
Michelle Obama eloquently describes the vision of an Obama second term.
Do the “honkey Pokey”put both Arms out that”s what its all about”
My friend Sandra Klucke said her vigina was this big
This is how I looked back then when wez could fly.
“His head is this big”
Do as I say, not as I do, bitches.
“Women name their queefs too. For instance we have the sneezing unicorn…”
Calm down people. I know Barrack promised you all this free stuff, Were just having problems finding people to pay for it.
Unbelievable racist BS. You have to be kidding to say this site isn’t racist. White trash racism lives on Moonbattery.
Yall racist!
Oh, another troll.
Oh, and Polaris Jones, that wouldn’t happen to be a brutha name would it?
RAAAYYYCISSSS!
Keep shrieking that – it becomes more and more impotent every day. Racist… LOL
awwwk…..awwwk….ffffftttt
All hells no, is that a Honkey in my mother fuckin crib
It’s this big! (Barrys ego)
10 trillion’s nothing homies. let’s go for 16!!!!
Polaris,
Suppose you’re black.
If that’s the case it should be apparent by now that you can’t take advantage of your race and at the same time keep people from talking about your race.
Moose, for example, as well as her vile husband, have used race to gain advantages throughout their entire careers.
The deal is, you can get certain advantages by using race, but you only get partial suppression, not total suppression of free speech—not as long as the internet is unregulated.
Which I’m sure you guys must be addressing.
Polaris sounds like she be a sista
Polaris Jones you need to get a life!
The NBPP wants to skin white people and kill their babies. What do you say about that?
Blacks call one another nigger a billion times a day in the ghetto, but woe be unto a white person to utter the word once!
And this picture of Michelle would take a virtual pounding in any black barbershop in America – making this site’s comments innocuous.
Your self-righteous double-standard is the racist crap.
People here are merely having fun, how do you know some of them aren’t black.
Again, get a life.
“I swear it was this big! I was too proud to flush it!”
good grief! she looks like she’s passing a monster log. Quick, someone get her some Ex-Lax.
I remember when my ass was only this big!