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Nov 14 2012

Cat Man Dead

According to liberal ideology, it is perfectly acceptable for a man to want to surgically transform himself into a crude facsimile of a woman. Taxpayers will even be forced to pay for it. Why not take the next step and surgically transform yourself into a female cat? Dennis Avner gave it a try. The result was unsurprising:

Dennis Avner, the Nevada man who spent years trying to morph his body into that of a cat has died. He was 54. …

Avner underwent a series of radical body modification procedures to make himself look like a female cat, from whiskers and ears to a mechanical tail. …

Avner’s operations have included bifurcation (splitting) of his upper lip, surgical pointing of the ears, silicone cheek and forehead implants, tooth filing, tattoos, and facial piercing.

Avner explained his motives on his website:

“I am Huron and following a very old tradition have transformed myself into a tiger.”

A native chief inspired him to “follow the ways of the tiger.”

With his overgrown fingernails, fangs and striped skin tone, Avner was a highly recognizable figure in his neighborhood.

His cause of death has not yet been revealed, yet some are speculating … that Avner may have killed himself.

Maybe we should set political correctness aside and try healing psychiatric illness instead of surgically indulging it.

Dennis-Avner
Dennis Avner: A step ahead of transsexuals.

On a tip from Bob Roberts.

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  • Alphamail

    Too much catnip, a nice big Rotty, maybe got run over while licking his prick in the street……anyway, pray the SOB doesn’t have nine lives.

  • Jodie

    That’s what you call a “fat cat”.

  • Ghost of FA Hayek

    At this point, I am simply surprised taxpayers weren’t forced to pay for it.
    Other than that, I can’t help but wonder how many girls brought this one home to meet her parents.

  • TED

    ANYTHING IS POSSABLE.

    After 4 more years…

  • F.D.R. in Hell

    Dave, thanks for the heads-up!

    I’ll warn Teddy and JFK to carefully screen all their prospects on Lucifer’s dating service – Light-A-Match.com

  • Doug

    I have a feeling that, unlike most ‘animals’ he’s never reproduced.

  • KHarn

    So let me get this straight: it’s a LONG-STANDING tradition of the HURON TRIBE, who are native to NORTH AMERICA to transform into TIGERS which are native to ASIA?

    Go on regressives, justify this.

  • Alphamail

    TED says:

    OK, I may rethink armed revolution.

  • Mickey Shea

    In related animal news:
    Hey, I love animals as much as the next guy, but these people are MOONBATS:
    http://www.newsobserver.com/2012/11/13/2481006/opossum-drop-halted-in-brasstown.html

  • Ghost of FA Hayek

    Mickey
    The next possum I “drop”, I now know who to send it to.

  • mojo

    Collective IQ of Human species rises marginally.

  • Comrade J

    As some wise guy said: ‘It’s the first effect of not believing in God that you lose your common sense…’

  • Mary

    Sorry for the families loss, but did he choke on a furball?

  • Logic_Mine

    And where does society draw the line?

    Allowing a quite ostensibly mentally ill man harm himself with body mods.

    So how much is too much? Surely it is a matter of preference but if I were to draw that line it would be drawn at the point where you were trying to look outside of your species.

    Now I could be heartless and ask “Did they bury him in the backyard?” but I won’t lower myself to that level.

    :)

  • Elizabeth

    Location: Anytown USA, YMCA locker room

    dad: come on son, time to get our swimsuits on
    little boy: Daddy! that monster scares me! Make him go away
    dad: Now now Junior, don’t be a bigot. That cat man with breasts has every right to sit on the bench and leer at us. Oh look, he wants you to go pet him. Go ahead, don’t be afraid.

  • TED
  • born in 76

    There was a time when people like this were confined to white room. Now they end up famed or even worse, as our elected officials.

    The country is far to gone to correct.

  • Grunt

    I’m so sorry….with all due respect, my condolences to the family of Mr. Avner. At least he paid for his surgeries himself (didn’t he?).

    Outside of that, I must ask that y’all forgive me, but…

    OMG ROTFLMAO Alphamail and Elizabeth…

  • snuss

    As bizarre as his appearance is, his mental state must have been nightmarish to justify (to himself) such massive mutilation.

  • Clingtomyguns

    Maybe we should rethink funding Avner’s same type of fundamental transformation for all liberals with Obamacare, as long as their expedited ending is the same. After all, it would be fitting for every Obama voter to wear the mark of the beast.

  • Sweep the leg

    “…Maybe we should set political correctness aside and try healing psychiatric illness instead of surgically indulging it.”

    A-freakin-men.

    On a sadder note, it doesn’t even look vaguely like a cat. WTF?

  • Sam Adams

    Logic_Mine says:
    November 14, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    Now I could be heartless and ask “Did they bury him in the backyard?” but I won’t lower myself to that level.
    ____________

    Cause of death?
    Chasing cars on the freeway?

  • Sam Adams

    BTW, why wasn’t this guy walking around on all fours?

  • Joe Casepack

    What a stupid asshole.

  • http://www.itsaboutliberty.com MissAnthropy

    Any surgeon doing this should be stripped of their medical license.

  • James McEnanly

    “I am Huron and following a very old tradition have transformed myself into a tiger.”
    From what I’ve read of the Hurons, or Wyandottes, as they call themselves,originally came from What is now Ontario, Canada. The most radical bodily modification I can find is that they wore Mohawk hairstyles.

  • Chuck O

    Dennis Avner, the Nevada man who spent years trying to morph his body into that of a cat has died. He was 54. …

    First world problems.

  • Bob Roberts

    mojo says: November 14, 2012 at 2:12 pm
    —————
    The nice thing about the gene pool is it is occasionally self-cleansing.

    —————

    Grunt says: November 14, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    At least he paid for his surgeries himself (didn’t he?).
    ——————-

    Don’t bet on it. These days moonbats demand we pay for all sorts of nonsense. Just read a few back issues of Moonbattery. Your tax dollars now pay for sex change (and other radical change) operations, for instance.

    Clingtomyguns says: November 14, 2012 at 3:17 pm
    ————
    You’re suggesting we make giving them “the mark of the beast” mandatory?

    In some ways that’s not a bad idea, but it will never fly.

    Logic_Mine says: November 14, 2012 at 2:25 pm
    —————-
    Actually it was probably in his will that they do just that, or in a pet cemetery perhaps.

  • Bob Roberts

    I, too, feel sad for any of the family and friends of this obviously demented man. Any who didn’t coddle and encourage him in his madness, anyway.

  • Gunny G

    Good fucking riddance.

  • Alphamail

    Concerns linger…….

    Did he use a cat box?

    Was he spayed?

    Did he succumb to a large tuna kibble?

    Could he actually lick his crotch?

    Was he willing to sleep on your lap?

    Could he catch mice?

    Questions to haunt us for the ages.

  • Rotohammer

    He was in a Comcast commercial during the early stage of his transformation. He seemed to have second thoughts at the time:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=It0ozA0dXQY

  • beforethestorm

    Mom always said, “if you can’t say something nice…..”

  • F.D.R. in Hell

    A face only a mother cheetah could love.

  • Artfldgr

    they are now reporting that he committed suicide…

    ‘Stalking Cat’ Daniel Avner found dead in ‘suicide’ after years of transforming his face to look like a feline
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2232523/Stalking-Cat-Daniel-Avner-dead-possible-suicide-years-transforming-face-look-like-feline.html?ICO=most_read_module

  • Alphamail

    No suicide…the coroner said Cat Scratch Fever…deadly.

  • grayjohn

    May have comitted suicide? If he didn’t he should have.

  • TED
  • Momster

    This is a lesson to all pet owners:

    He was probably killed by a coyote or a fisher cat. Keep your beloved animals indoors!

  • mick

    I heard he crawled up into the engine compartment…fan blade got him.

  • whotothewhat

    Apparently a cat having 9 lives is a myth.

  • Mickey Shea

    Y’all a bunch of transpeciesphobes.

  • Jodie

    He took his own life – what a pussy!

  • http://moonbattery czuch

    Get a hat box and we’ll have a little funeral.
    Good thing we didnt get the big bag of Moist and Crunchies.
    /2013,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

  • http://moonbattery.com Ted

    Cause of death: cat scratch fever

  • veteranmedic

    Judge not lest ye be judged. I hope none of you are Christians. Otherwise you might want to refamiliarize yourself with the Bible.

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