To expunge all remnants of political correctness, every corner of our culture needs to be examined and purified. For example, the Christmas classic “Twas the Night Before Christmas” has been found to include a thought crime. Don’t worry, Winston Smith at the Ministry of Truth revised the poem. If you own a print version, take care to cross out the following lines:
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
Also, a note is to be added to the back of the book making clear that the fur on Santa’s outfit is faux. Stay tuned for further alerts, lest you inadvertently expose children to forbidden remnants of the incorrect past.
In the end, the Thought Police will probably conclude that it is more efficient to ban Christmas altogether. Kwanzaa will be offered as a politically wholesome replacement.
Hat tip: I’m 41.