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Dec 22 2012

Caption Contest

kerry-football

Leave a comment providing the winning caption to the picture of our next Secretary of State above and win a free Moonbattery.com t-shirt, suitable for any formal occasion, courtesy of the esteemed countermoonbats at Party Crasher.

The winner will be announced Monday. Free shirts need to be claimed within a week (i.e., I need a US mailing address). T-shirts for the contest are available in blue L or XL only, although white shirts and other sizes are available directly from Party Crasher, along with an excellent selection of other t-shirts guaranteed to cause moonbats to sputter with impotent rage (all shirts are currently at least 20% off).

Tip from Gary A.

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  • varkswife

    “Not in the face! Not in the face! Not in the face!”

  • YES WE CON!

    “I actually caught it, before I missed it.”
    http://www.liveshot.cc

  • http:sonofsoylentgreen.wordpress.com Soylent Green

    Kerry demonstrates how Global Warming causes rogue footballs

  • Steve442

    Results of this will be analogous to the results of his coming eyes-closed foreign policy.

  • Steve442

    So that’s what happened to his face.

  • http://theoberservatorium.blogspot.com Nate

    ‘It’s a fumble! FUMBLAYA! Johnny “Fumblina” Kerry fumbles the ball! ‘

    With apologies to Necessary Roughness (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102517/quotes?qt=qt0316607)

  • Dean

    “Not in the forehead! I just had it Botoxed!”

  • Steve442

    John Kerry reporting for duty.

  • Ghost of FA Hayek

    Looks like Americans “dropped the ball” again.

  • wingmann

    And then teresa,we were playing football…and I made this amazing catch with my face.
    _____________________________________

    “I’ll handle being secretary of the state as good as I handle this football”

  • Jodie

    Damnit! Cut! There’s supposed to be a light behind me and I’m supposed to look like Obama with the globe. I’ll be back when you idiots are ready for the shot!

  • DeafBoy

    Kerry wants only foreigner’s balls hitting him on the chin. Anything American disgusts him.

  • oldguy

    This isn’t the football I was hoping for.

  • Kangtong

    My plan is to carry on Hillary’s tradition at State and fumble whenever possible.

  • Big Al

    John Kerry, Ready to handle the nuclear one.

  • http://moonbattery mtminer

    Will He drop the ball just like Hillary?

  • Spartan24

    Ooh! I catch like a girl.. How metrosexual of me!

  • Xavier

    Purple Heart #4 coming right up.

  • Spikehb

    Still a pussy.

  • TonyD95B

    John Kerry Fumbles Again

  • skullman

    Hey, if I get hurt, I can claim another Purple Heart.

  • http://www.henrypbabcock.com Henry
  • Ummah Gummah

    .

    Secretary of State! I’ll show ‘em how to spike a football!

    Ooooops.. damn.. oh well.. I hope Teresa made good reservations for tonight.

    .

  • Bob Roberts

    Too many great ones already. Unless I come up with something over the top I’m going to concede the winner already spoke.

  • Bob Roberts

    This one was good but needed a bit of a tweak:

    Steve442 says: December 22, 2012 at 10:11 am
    So that’s what happened to his face.

    —————–
    Maybe:

    John Kerry demonstrates the fine points of how he tweaks his look to get ready for television appearances.

  • Ummah Gummah

    .

    Thank god – yeah I know he doesn’t really exist – I’m not running for president right now. This feels like a Dukakis in the tank kind of moment..

    .

    .

  • Ummah Gummah

    .

    Does he have to throw so hard?! I just got my nails done!

    .

  • Ummah Gummah

    .

    I knew we should’ve done Badminton. I mean, why do this stupid pretend I like football thing when there aren’t any real Americans around?

    .

  • Alphamail

    To appease the Muslim Brotherhood John Kerry refrains from actually touching the pigskin.

  • Jodie

    So, I missed…I’d like to see Sarah Palin catch a football!

  • http://mostlycajun.com mostly cajun

    “Brining the same high skill level to international diplomacy”

  • Ummah Gummah

    .

    Ooohh, I know this looks really bad.. I can’t even catch the ball when Barry throws it..

    .

  • Ummah Gummah

    .

    In an odd way, little Johnny was just like his cousin Pinocchio.. only his entire face grew ever longer every time he missed a pass..

    .

  • Ummah Gummah

    .

    Damn that Teresa! I told her I wanted to go ice skating!

    .

  • Ummah Gummah

    .

    OT: I just heard a news announcer pronounce kibbosh as “kyybosh”. I reckon it’s what happens when they read off a teleprompter without knowing the words on the copy.

    LOL

    The news media.. they make fun of themselves every day.

    .

  • Paki Kebab Shack

    New draft pick at practice after signing with the Toledo Mudhens.

  • http://www.itsaboutliberty.com MissAnthropy

    This is the guy who asked for the nuclear football in 2004.

  • Brian_Boru

    Face to lace with a political football.

  • gemalo

    Ho boy, I feel a concussion coming on!

  • Ummah Gummah

    Paki Kebab Shack says:
    December 22, 2012 at 12:11 pm
    New draft pick at practice after signing with the Toledo Mudhens.

    I think he went to Yale or Harvard.. same diff though. LOL

    .

  • Ummah Gummah

    .

    I wonder if Bill was really joking about putting Teresa in a blue dress while I am on the road.. focus, John.. FOCUS!

    .

  • Ummah Gummah

    .

    I’d rather be windsurfing..

    .

  • Ummah Gummah

    .

    Sorry if I am posting too many. This is just like a steady diet of hanging sliders. How can anyone resist?

    .

  • Sarah Palin

    Jodie says:
    December 22, 2012 at 12:01 pm
    So, I missed…I’d like to see Sarah Palin catch a football!

    Oh reeeally..?

    .

  • Ummah Gummah

    .

    If only it wasn’t so damn hard to learn French! What ARE we still doing here?

    .

  • Ummah Gummah

    .

    Heck. I’m not up for election. Never again! Who cares what Americans think?! I can drop balls and fumble all I want now.. Barry got back in and that’s that really matters.. no problemo! Who gives a sh*t!

    .

  • Ummah Gummah

    .

    HAHAHAHA!! What’s a dropped ball compared to these dopes dropping their Nation, their future?

    Americans are such LOSERS! What a bunch of OAFS! They bought the whole thing hook, line and sinker – AGAIN!

    No way anyone can talk about me just dropping this ball… like, who cares?

    .

  • Tim Doolin

    Hanoi john takes one for the team ?

  • Ed Borgnaes

    WHOOPS

    My Fourth Purple Heart…..

  • Ummah Gummah

    .

    Does she have to throw so hard?! Way to mess up my manicure!

    .

  • Ummah Gummah

    .

    Does she have to throw so hard?! Way to mess up my manicure!

    .

  • Ummah Gummah

    .

    Damn.. I only meant to post as Sarah Palin ONCE. My sincerest apologies to Sarah Palin and the Moonbattery staff and crowd.

    .

  • Sam Adams

    Dammit, Barack; not the nuclear football! You gotta hold it and run with it!

  • Sam Adams

    Nobody said the tight end needed to catch anything.

  • Sam Adams

    My shirt is going to get wrinkled.

  • Sam Adams

    Dammit, Barack; it is bad enough that you pass like a girl. Why do I have to spoil my image, too?

  • Jodie

    Oh that stings! Somebody get this thing off of me!

  • Depwavid

    Kerry fumbles: today the football, tomorrow the world!

  • Alborn

    Lord forgive me but I hate that man. Now for caption Is someone trying to football boat me?

  • Ummah Gummah

    .

    She did NOT load up that ball with ketchup AGAIN! ..I’m really getting sick of this.. but I’ll lose the yacht, everything.. if I rock the boat..

    .

  • Ummah Gummah

    .

    This one is my personal PHOTO OF THE YEAR. Screw NatGeo and Time and all the rest of them.

    THIS ONE IS IT.

    .

  • http://mikesright.wordpress.com/ Michael

    Hillary – damn – is this a football or a hot potato?!?

  • Maudie N Mandeville

    “Incoming!” Admiral Kerry recollects his successful POW rescue mission.

  • rex freeway

    I hear everyone laughing. Just wait until i negotiate with Iran. They wont be laughing then.

  • Bob

    Howie Carr’s Kerry Impersonation…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1NdA-dg-IY

  • Bob

    JFK’s tax evasion attempt fail,,,

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qVebGaL700

  • DaletheNerd

    Hey, I called bankshot!

  • Phil

    Benghazi hot potato, CATCH!

  • Antisocialist

    The Unholy Handgrenade of Benghazi.

  • Lucky13

    Thinking like a Detroit Lions team member.

  • Token Conservative

    Eeeeny eeeny oohna-wah! Oh no, not hamsters again for dinner!

  • FrankW

    If you like this, you otta see what I can do with an airplane on a football field.

  • Steve442

    This will be represented in his autobiography as the pass he caught to win the Super Bowl.

  • Mark Johnson

    This is not a caption. The appointment of John Kerry is proof positive that the Democrats despise close stove America and those who serve in the armed services. This is disdain incarnate.

  • big-pete

    Team Obama tries a Hail Kerry pass.

  • http://www.ontargetnews.com Dale Dawson

    Oh goody, I finally get to carry the nuclear football. Oh … it’s NOT?

  • Jay

    I’m gonna be a great secretary of state. Look,,,, this is how I drop the ball before they even get it to me. Should be a handy skill when something like that Benghazi thing comes up.

  • big-pete

    If I close my eyes and smile, this will all workout somehow…

  • big-pete

    “With John Kerry America’s interests abroad are in very good hands.” – President Barack Obama

  • Kraus

    “In a bizarre demonstration of his superhuman power, Mr. Kerry commands a football to levitate.”

  • http://Www.christmasghost.com Christmasghost

    “Fumbles” Kerry has yet another Marsha Brady moment

  • Mark

    Wasn’t there a similar picture of Monica Lewinsky.

  • Mike T

    Monkey, meet football.

  • http://www.perigonmedia.com/ Donald Borsch Jr.

    Balls this close to my face, while pleasurable, make me close my eyes in anticipation!

  • A Saucerful of Sucrets

    Rim shot and a drum roll for Ummah Gummah! Ahahah! Laughter is good comrades. Laugh or go crazy.

  • mark runge

    normally i dont look this awkward touching anothers mans balls

  • Brian

    Laces out, Dan!!!

  • SNuss

    “Hanoi John” Kerry fumbles the football over the White House fence, just like his medals.

  • Laurie

    Hot potato!

  • Noelegy

    “I forgot my football bat!”

  • ant

    Kerry displays a model while taking a lead role in AlGore’s new campaign, ‘Global prolate spheroidization’.

  • ant

    More proof that Europeans are better with their feet than their hands.

  • ant

    I understand he got a Purple Heart for this.

  • ant

    John Kerry attacked by football…media collectively calls for ‘pigskin control’.

  • ant

    Strangely, although Kerry yelled out, “Do you know who I am?!”…the football still hit him.

  • A. Levy

    Forget the caption and take a close look. Has he had chin surgery to make it less pronounced?

  • ant

    Kerry is attacked in Nantucket by football players after they view a 15-minute Youtube video promoting baseball.

  • ant

    Kerry later gives Senate testimony calling the football a ‘rapist and baby-killer’.

  • Elizabeth

    Secretary of State John Kerry: The manliest non-female in the Obama administration

  • ant

    “If I’m not truly a warrior-of-the-working-class may it start raining footballs!”

  • ant

    That Kerry and his magic tricks, he can not only make a ball appear to levitate, he can make a yacht disappear from the tax-man.

  • fully automatic pez dispenser

    Hanoi Kerry dodges football thought it was a Vietnam vet throwing it.

  • ant

    It’s not fair in this Country when a man’s secretary is better at sports than the boss.

  • ant

    Kerry’s trying to hug it. He saw the rough-hewn skin and the stitches and though it was Pelosi come out to greet him.

  • Ummah Gummah

    .

    I might not have made the Pats, but I could’ve played on the jets anytime. Anytime, baby!

    .

  • Sam Adams

    Incomming!!!!

  • Artskoe

    See Theresa? If I can catch this odd-looking ball, you can certainly wear a burka when we go to Egypt…

  • Full Tilt

    The other New England media uber-darling with a super-rich wife who isn’t named Tom Brady.

  • Aldebaran

    I was for catching it before I was against dropping it!

  • Earl W

    If he’s lightly tackled after the catch he’ll undoubtedly write himself up for a purple heart just before calling his teammates baby-killers.

  • Ummah Gummah

    .

    Lemme see YOU catch a football after just getting off a plane piloted by a Kennedy!

    .

  • Ummah Gummah

    .

    Eeeeeewww.. football.. how icky.. sheeesh.. I can’t stand it!

    .

  • unanimous

    ” INCOMING-G-G !!! – THIS ought to be worth ANOTHER Purple Heart !”

  • WTSherman1864

    I’m used to playing with two balls but one will do.

  • TexasVetgal

    If this pigskin would have had HINES KETCHUP on it….I would have caught it with my mouth.

  • Dadof3

    Runner-up photo to the winning photo taken a split second later, titled: “Smash Mouth Footballer”

  • Roy

    And this is how skillfully I will execute the office of Secretary of State.

  • Rob

    Here we see Kerry preparing for his new post by taking balls to the chin.

  • Constitutional Patriot

    Owww! Owww! Owww! Remember its a photo op! Remember its a photo op!

  • http://Slayer.net Enabler

    You know, football, if you make the most of it, if you practice hard and you do your drills, and you make an effort to be good, uh, you, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck as the Secretary Of State.

  • coal power

    Herman and Grandpa trying to Show Eddie how to toss a footbal in the backyard of 1313 Mockingbird lane

  • IslandLifer

    Sissy.

  • Clem

    It’s OK. I’m used to balls bouncing off my chin.

  • Shooter1001

    If he could throw a football as well as he can throw unearned medals, he’d be another Johnny Unitas!

  • Shooter1001

    Ha ha! I got mine humping a dumpy widow!

  • Shooter1001

    Learn about futebol, futebol! Not American football, you French pouisse!!

  • Douglas

    John Kerry Manquien named new wide reciver for New York Jets.

  • Lgbpop

    Forget Air Jordan, I’m Air Kerry!

  • trimdaddy

    Here’s John Kerry getting ready to take one on the chin for Obama…

  • Shooter1001

    WR ain’t your position Johnny, stick to BS!

  • Shooter1001

    You’re the new TE John. You’ll find out soon enough why Ms. Rice didn’t qualify.

  • Shooter1001

    Take a knee, John. Take two knees, John! Didn’t Hilary tell you?

  • Shooter1001

    On this team John, WRs wear a blue dress!

  • Shooter1001

    I’m the QB, John, you’re the Center. Now let’s go back in the locker room and practice!

  • Shooter1001

    OH I see, you’re a soccer man!

  • Shooter1001

    Tough playing disabled! Nam? Really, seven Purple Hearts? They run out of band aids?

  • Shooter1001

    Don’t tell your Muslim buddies you handle dead pigs.

  • Shooter1001

    Catching a football while taking a crap ain’t easy!

  • Rich

    John Kerry: moonbat, commie, traitor, as Sec State – dropping the ball again!

  • Guest

    … then the rocket went like this and I went like that and that’s how I received my Silver Star!

  • http://teacheru.us Teacheru

    Horse face drops it like is Benghazi.

  • HookLineandStinker

    “Reminds me of incoming. I served in Vietnam ya know.”

  • formwiz

    I’m so happy to be here at Lambert Field. Now why doesn’t this soccer ball pass the global test?

  • Miz Barkee

    Ouch! Viet Nam was never as dangerous as this!

  • Valerie DePonto

    I always knew I was better and just like the Juice !

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