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Feb 16 2013

Caption Contest

state of the union

Leave a comment providing the winning caption to the picture above of Tuesday’s State of the Union address and win a free t-shirt, suitable for any formal occasion, courtesy of the esteemed countermoonbats at Party Crasher.

The winner will be announced Monday. Free shirts need to be claimed within a week (i.e., I need a US mailing address). T-shirts for the contest are available in blue L or XL only, although white shirts and other sizes are available directly from Party Crasher, along with an excellent selection of other t-shirts guaranteed to cause moonbats to sputter with impotent rage.

  • Flu-Bird

    The only trouble with CAMP DAVID is theres no golf course

  • scneocon

    Boehner: “Great. He can’t just flick the booger like most people. He has to show everyone it’s the most “unprecedented”& “historic” booger ever to be picked.”

  • Hans

    “Look, Ma, no flies today!”


  • S

    I can’t understand y
    Why you don’t think I need another vacation…oh and michelle needs more staff

  • Running rampant

    “Oh great. He just said another thing I agree with.”

  • Wizard45

    Oh, come on Barry, wrap it up,niether one of believes that BS and I need a cigarette and something suitably alcoholic to wash the bad taste out of my mouth.

  • Xavier

    “and so far I’ve taught him to roll over and beg”

  • Xavier

    Freudian ties!

  • Frank

    “My Hero”

  • Brian_Boru

    “That stupid Constitution means this much to me!”

  • BobR

    …and from now on taxes will only paid by the rich republicans, with a 95% rate and the minimum wage will be $50.00.

  • Frank

    Boehner sez:

    “I’ve got a boner for my darling …”

  • Ummah Gummah


    So this is how that teleprompter thing works.. maybe I should run in 2016..


  • Unruly Refugee

    Boehner: Why does he always have to stand on my testicle?

  • Jodie

    We need to get to these kids before their parents – who often don’t know what’s best – begin to influence their fragile belief systems.

  • Navigator

    In German:

    Obama: “Will ich ein König sein” (I want to be King.)

    Boehner: “Kann ich Ihnen helfen?” (Can I help you?)

  • Richard,C

    Boehner..What a complete incompetent arrogant dickweed!!!

  • Gunny G

    Boner: “That bumper sticker is right. A village in Kenya really IS missing their idiot.”

  • Bad Barry

    Blah blah blah… tax… blah blah blah… invest more… blah blah blah… guns bad… blah blah blah… man love.

  • Boehner
    ‘boy if I only had a set i’d kick his ass’

  • Tim

    I, I , I ,I ME, ME, ME, ME


  • Shooter1001

    Jesse, can’t you get anything through that thick skull?

  • Shooter1001

    It’s so easy, the sum of the squares of the adjacent sides is equal to the square of the hypopotenuse.

  • EP wmstt

    “And in conclusion… You are all screwed and thanks to my bubbles in the liberal media, you don’t even know it!”

  • Ghost of FA Hayek

    Welcome to McBoehner, can I take your order ?
    Uh,,I’ll have some federal debt, a side order of regulation, and a large tax increase… go.

  • Shooter1001

    Boehner bubble: His brain is that big!

  • Shooter1001

    See! When I snap my finger, Jeannie pops up.

  • coregis

    And to think that I didn’t want Hillary as their nominee…..

  • born is 76

    “… and now we have two crumbs”

  • Shooter1001

    Its the same crap, over and over.

  • Cameraman

    Damn! I wonder if He”ll Invite Me on another Golf Outing ?

  • big-pete

    I missing the encore presentation of “Beaches” on Lifetime for this?

  • Crazy Dad

    Oh man, why did I have that bean burrito for lunch?

    I can’t wait to get home to trim my toenails.

    Man, this guy is so full of it!

  • D

    Boner thinking to himself: Being Speaker of the House isn’t fun at all with this jivin’ asshole as pres.

  • Boy could I use a bottle of “Rubio Spring Water tm” to wash this crap down.

  • Steven

    “Mr. President. We all know you’re just sellin’ the same stuff year after year just to see what makes THE PEOPLE tick!” -John Boehner’s thought bubble

  • Victor Vicious

    ThePrez Sez: I came with stoopid over there!

  • SheilaK

    Well just gag me with a spoon….

  • Goodness

    Boehner sat aghast; as he realized the Cold War had ultimately been won by the Soviets.

  • Bob Roberts

    Obama: What America needs is a king

    Boehner: GOOD GRIEF! What America needs is an impeachment as soon as we win back the Senate!

  • epb

    Obama: Blah, blah, blah, incentives, blah, blah, blah, for the children, blah, blah blah, come together, blah, blah, blah, recovery, blah, blah, blah, me, myself and I, blah, blah, blah, sequester, blah, blah, blah…

    Boehner: Sheesh! Shut the effing up already.

  • Bob Roberts

    Obama: I… me… I… I… my… I… me…

    Boehner: Doesn’t he ever get tired of talking about himself?

  • Brian_Boru

    Boehner: “Wasn’t John Wilkes Boothe just about this far away?”

  • Ummah Gummah


    God, I love his unicorn farts! I exist only for these few precious moments.. aaaahhh… This is what makes being Speaker so addicting…

    …Thank God our consultants steered Mittens off the path. Things looked pretty dangerous there for a minute after that first debate.


  • Boehner thinking: I can’t believe that Secret Service agent took my blue tie and gave it to obama for “national security reasons.” What luck that Uncle Joe had a spare pink tie I could wear.

  • Ummah Gummah

    Navigator says:
    February 16, 2013 at 12:06 pm

    Allow me a slightly altered suggestion: [Credit shall remain with the original poster]

    In German:

    Obama: “Ich will Kaiser sein” (I want to be Emperor.)

    Boehner: “Kann ich Ihnen helfen?” (Can I help you?

    Obama: “ach was, Führer bin ich ja schon längst” (whatever, I’m Fuehrer already)


  • Mike

    I’m going to pee pee on you, then tell you that it is raining. If you disagree, you’re a racist.

  • Rob

    Here, Obama is seen playing the tiniest violin for Speaker Boehner and the GOP.

  • Dadof3

    “There You Go Again”

    (Forgive us St. Reagan for dropping the ball)

  • Hekk

    Boehner: (..sigh..)” If only he’d follow the Pope’s example…”

  • Hekk

    Boehner, thinking: (He’s so FOS I’m surprized it isn’t pouring out his ears.)

  • Ummah Gummah


    (Boehner again)

    Ahh.. what a heavenly man-butt he has.. even though he keeps giving me the cold shoulder.. who needs Viagra looking at this.. God, Reggie was a lucky man.. careful.. must keep my eyes on his shoulders so noone notices anything..


  • Jester
  • TheHurtfulTruth

    What a complete waste of space. That worthless, gutless, unmanly, sissified, backstabbing coward….and don’t even get me started on Obama!

  • forest

    “Maybe he’ll wrap this up if I offer him a smoke”

  • Alborn

    Liar, Liar pants on fire!

  • Jodie

    Obama: If we could all just give a little more; just work a littler harder…

    Biden (off camera): Yee-ha! That is one clean, articulate, bright, main-stream, negro!

  • elizabeth

    If I switch to the super mega orange package, will I get as tan as Barry?

  • Douglas

    Keep digging, Bucky!

  • I don’t care if he is the commander-in-chief. If he lets another one of those silent killers fly, I’m gonna whup his ass.

  • DJ

    Boner thinking bubble: What a lying asshole.

  • Boehner: I can’t believe the American people elected this idiot, AGAIN!

  • Xavier

    Boehner: He steals my best ideas and has the gall to use them right in front of me, and there’s nothing I can do. That’s amore.

  • Leonard Jones

    The look says it all:

    “What an asshole!”

  • chillguy33

    “Emperor?? Emperor of Kenya, fine.”

  • Now if we could only find some way to impeach him & Biden at the same time & make it stick in the Senate, then I could be up there instead.

  • Steve442

    It’s everything I can do not to cry, listening to this jackass.

  • Gary C.

    Patience, my ass. I’m going to kill someone!

  • Conan

    Boehner thinking: “If this idiot’s IQ was as big as his ears, he’d be a frigging genius.”

  • Joy

    Damn! That laxative promised to work but I never expected to experience a turd as big as that one!

  • Contessa61

    Obama “…and this will not add one dime to our deficit”

    Boehner “sigh. How many times to I have to listen to this idiot say the same lie over and over?”

  • IslandLifer

    “You see this dried up lush here behind me? He may talk a good talk but you should see him get down on all fours when I tell him to.” “Hell, I even taught him how to roll over.”

  • MadJack

    That cry baby Boehner’s making that face again isn’t he?

  • I swear, I am your messiah-in-chief, trust me.

  • dmgore

    Well isnt that special?
    who might be you be getting those naughty little ideas from.
    Could it be……SATAN?

  • Piker

    Bitch, please..


  • Clink

    “Would you please wrap it up so we can both go “burn one”?

  • Serfin’usa

    Boehner: Is that a camera? Quick, I better make a face like I’m disgusted at him even though I spinelessly buckle under and give him what he wants. Come on people, I can’t be seen as a racist, so better to just let the country go down in flames than to stand up against him. Right?

  • NBIE

    After listening to this speech I now know why he feels the need to limit clips to 7 rounds.

  • wingmann

    Life as a ventriloquist ain’t what it used to be.

  • Sam Adams

    And to think he passes himself off as black.

  • Sam Adams

    This is why we call him “The Lecturer in Chief.”

  • Sam Adams

    Where’s the “skip forward” button when you really need it.

  • Sam Adams

    That’s right….sell the dream, not the record.

  • Sam Adams

    The nose knows. The same old crap we’ve been sold for the last four years.

  • Sam Adams

    See the blue tie? It proves I am not a communist.

  • Dooley

    Obama: So you see people, the man behind me is the one who signs the front of the cheques so you can sign the back.
    JB: That man takes all the credit and then spends it.

  • Dennis

    Boehner: “I can’t wait to get back home to milk my goat.”

  • TheChaoticStorm

    The empty suit has bored me to tears.

  • Robert17

    The American people made me Speaker of the House, and all I got was this stupid chair.

  • WTSherman1864

    Ren and Stimpy

  • rex freeway

    What has America done?

  • rex freeway

    Not going anywhere soon? Snickers.

  • Lauran

    State of what Union, Standdown?

  • apostle53

    I have heard this before.

  • Energy Engineer

    And Boehner starts crying in 3, 2, 1.

  • TED

    Boehner: There he goes again.

  • G. Fox

    I just snap my fingers and ‘Bonehead’ heels.

  • Shooter1001

    Size doesn’t matter!

  • Shooter1001

    Gaydar is off the screen!!!

  • Shooter1001

    I bring you peace in our time!

  • Awlhattin O’cattle

    If you put the preperation H where you should have used lip balm, your lips will look like Mooshells

  • Awlhattin O’cattle

    Mooshells lips are so pursed she can’t even eat a jelly bean!

  • Awlhattin O’cattle

    Come to think of it, Mooshells sphincter looks better, most of her poo does come out her mouth.

  • Annwithsanity

    “And let me be clear. It is about loving me and my legacy. It is the duty of each American to love me as much as I love myself. The media loves me. And, uh, uh,love is the fair and balanced approach.”

  • Shooter1001

    … an a free cell phone an no car payments an a EBT card an know mo roaches an rent money an you rich what folks can kiss my black ass!

  • Dennis

    Joe Stalin takes center stage as Droopy sulks in the rear, …..and….this is supposed to inspire me to vote?

  • marknlutz

    Boehner:STFU you purple-lipped turd.

  • Dr. 9

    “Oh, that’s my pet republican sitting behind me. Watch him roll over when i snap my fingers…”

  • Shooter1001

    JB: Commie POS, I lent him my lapel pin for TV.

  • CharlesR

    Boehner: There is something different about Obama tonight. Thats it, he’s coloring his hair, no more gray.

  • CharlesR

    Were is the off button for this motormouth?

  • CharlesR

    Where is my barn shovel, it’s getting deep in here?

  • CharlesR

    Calling Roto Rooter, we have a blockage here.

  • Alphamail

    Presto…..I snap my fingers, and guilty white folks – like the crybaby behind me – bend over so I can spread the wealth.

  • Highway Hospital Student

    What was that Three-Dog-Night song again?

    Ain’t that what you said?
    Ain’t that what you said?
    Ain’t that what you said?

    dum de dum de dum
    dum de dum de dum
    dum de dum de dum

    yeah..that was it.

  • Highway Hospital Student


    The MSM will never let him get away with this many lies….not in a million years.

    Well, not unless Rubio does something like take a drink of water.

  • WTSherman1864

    Dumb and Dumber.

  • John Knoefler

    Boner Bubble: “I’m so gonna say something to this guy…No I’m not!”

  • StL Card

    Boehner: “Really? Bitch, please …”

  • grayjohn

    And you said you’d respect me in the morning…riiight.

  • Xavier

    A bright blue tie and a pink tie with flecks of blue.

    It’s called telegraphing.

  • Bill T

    Hmm Kinda like watching reruns of the Gong Show!

  • Artskoe

    Boehner: “And nuttin’ about the price of rits, Barry!?!”

  • BobR

    … and once we confiscate all the registered guns there will be no more crime. It’s as easy as that!

  • Boehner: When Will The Wind Up Doll Shut Up

  • VoiceOfReason

    “Great I’ll have to listen to that ape another three times…”

  • blue

    “…. Obama gets Steve Guttenberg under the podium & all I got was this gay tie……”

  • Hillman

    Boehner: Enough of the quacking fly face. I can’t take it anymore. STFU with annoying voice of yours you lying fly trap.

  • TruthSerum

    Boehner: Damn! I wish Obama would stop eating broccoli before these speeches.

  • freedombytheblade

    As soon as I am done inflating this debt bubble with hot air, I am gonna pop it with this girly little finger

  • freedombytheblade

    Boehner: if he says “I” one more time im gonna shit. Aww man….. well its atleast more interesting than hearing him talk

  • Obama driving his point home ‘How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck, could chuck wood.’

  • Big Bad Bruins

    The long-legged Mack Daddy says…

    “Look at this jive turkey sitting behind me to my left. He hates minorities. I mean, look at the color of his tie. If wearing a peach colored tie in my presence isn’t racist, I don’t know what is.”

    Boehner says…

    “Neither does your electorate.”

  • WTSherman1864

    Hey Blount! Don’t be a wussy and make WTSherman1864 sign in every time to comment just because I criticized the way you run your contest, buddy! I miss Van Helsing! Like I said, don’t be a wussy! For my part I agree to never submit a caption ever again. Fair?

  • Alphamail


    Good riddance! You are one whimpering insufferable egocentric namby-pamby.

    Ever since this MB site crashed last week, I’ve had to sign in every time I make a comment…and I’m sure a lot of others have had to also.

    But of course, like always, this is only about WT.

    My child never cried in all her life as much as you’ve sniveled in two posts.

  • WTSherman1864

    Mr.Blount, if alphasnot above me is correct then I owe you an apology!

    Aphasnot, I will respond to you once to reward your rant:
    For some reason I have never felt it in me to get angry about personal insults by anonymous commenters. If you actually have a child, my sincere condolences to it. Have a nice day! Otherwise, if you truly are as conservative as I am, you will keep your snot in your nose and stop blowing it on others. Good afternoon. Love, Your Superior in Every Possible Way….

  • WTSherman1864

    My my, that was truly cathartic in every possible way! Thank you alphasnot! One could learn to enjoy this, what not? Most addictive!

  • Right Reason

    “Washington, Lincoln, Reagan … and THIS idiot??”

  • Jphat

    I can’t shed a tear for this claptrap.

  • Whipplebear

    Same Shit Different Day

  • RacKAttacK

    Boehner: “For goodness sake I’m darker than this guy, why no love?”.

  • RacKAttacK

    You make a better door than window you “transparent” asshat.

  • RacKAttacK

    “Shit, how am I really gonna disagree with all this nonsense before going right along with it without coming off as a eunuch…again!!!”

  • Pingback: Moonbattery » Caption Contest Winner()

  • TrickleUpPolitics

    IMO: the winner is…..

    Jester says:
    February 16, 2013 at 4:02 pm
    Boehner: Nigga, please.”

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