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Feb 23 2013

Caption Contest


Leave a comment providing the winning caption to the picture above and win a free t-shirt, suitable for any formal occasion, courtesy of the esteemed countermoonbats at Party Crasher.

The winner will be announced Monday. Free shirts need to be claimed within a week (i.e., I need a US mailing address). T-shirts for the contest are available in blue L or XL only, although white shirts and other sizes are available directly from Party Crasher, along with an excellent selection of other t-shirts guaranteed to cause moonbats to sputter with impotent rage.

Compliments of Bob Z.

  • hiram

    “And when you grow up, here’s how much money you’ll have left after taxes…”

  • Jodie

    Remember kids, be a “doobee” not a “don’t bee”! I see Saul and Frank Marshall…and I see Bill and Bernadine…oh, and look there’s Jeremiah and Valerie…

  • Sam

    See here kids, if you look closely, you can see this is all the Republicans’ fault.

  • junkyard infidel

    “hey, i think i found a few grains of blow from that line i did earlier !”

  • Restless

    A hand-held teleprompter seemed like a good idea in theory…

  • Xavier

    I see the nickel you’re hiding. Put it on the table right now!

  • Big Bad Bruins

    I can see Kenya from here.

  • Rick the Reb

    See that, right where I’m pointing, that’s everything I’ve done so far to help America.

  • Zim

    “Mommy and Daddy voted for this creepy guy?”

  • C. S. P. Schofield

    “Yes, dear, everybody has to pay taxes. Now let’s see your milk money.”

  • Friedrich Braunschmitt III

    You have too much toys comradette we must redistribute. Please place them here.

  • Musicmaven

    “At last, I found that middle class tax cut!”

  • Jodie

    Little girl: Um, Mr. President, why do you have all those weird scars on the side of your head?

  • DanStlMo

    It’s not a mirror Dumb Ass.

  • Xavier

    Barry: Shi’thead, you can be the judge, and La’Trina, you can be Trayvon’s mother. I’ll be the media and focus on this little spot of evidence right here. Sally can be the White Hispanic vigilante.

    Sally: Do I have to get executed again like last time?

  • chris

    Look there! I found the GOP’s balls! Bigger than I thought…

  • Right Reason

    “See, right here, look close … private sector job growth.”

  • CGW409

    Blonde girl: Dude,I’m like six years old and even I’m not buying the crap you’re spewing.

  • Xavier

    Sally: Shouldn’t you be doing something Presidential?

  • Xavier

    I like this mirror – I’m 2 shades lighter!

  • Brian

    And if you look closely enough, you might actually see my cajones.

  • Jodie

    You see that tiny, tiny speck right there? That’s how big a fetus is. All you do is sweep that little thing away and you won’t be punished with a baby.

  • Xavier

    Barry: Let’s play spot the racist.
    Lil’ Jihad: I see her! I see her!
    Sally: How many times do we have to play this game?

  • Xavier

    Mommy, what does token mean?

  • Justme

    I’m four and even I know you’re full of shit! Who the hell voted for you ?

  • Artskoe

    Prez: “Tell me now, little girl! Do your Mommy and Daddy make 250,000 dollars or not?”

  • Obama: “Hold the magnifying glass in a line with the sun like this, put the Constitution down here, and burn that mutha up!”

  • Xavier

    Barry: OK kids, let’s say the table’s a big entitlement pie. Blondie, this little spot’s yours.

    Blondie: I don’t like this game.

    Barry: It’s not a game.

  • Rat

    “Yeah, yeah, yeah…I KNOW it’s a magnifying glass…but when I hold it just like this…I can see MYSELF in it!”

  • Hexadron

    “Ah-HA! Caught you little thoughtcriminals trying to hide a speck from the collective!”

  • Xavier

    Barry: …and under this finger is where I keep the Speaker of the House. He’s so insignificant sometimes I need a magnifying glass to see him!

    Blondie: Dad was right. This guy’s crazy with power.

    Lil’ Jihad: Hush up now. I got my eye on you.

  • dmgore

    And if you look reeeeaaal close, you can see whats left of America’s GDP.

  • dmgore

    if I may enter a second caption….

    (bubble above little girls head) “wow. I’m smarter than this guy”.

  • Scott Smith

    Little girl, I need you to loan me another trillion.

  • Sweep the leg

    My brain fell out. Anyone see it?

  • Sweep the leg

    Wow! This thing makes everything look bigger! What do you guys call this?

  • atticus90

    And if you look REALLY close, you can see your future!

  • GoinSane

    See? I ruin everything I touch.

  • Sweep the leg

    When the ants burst into flames, picture your future in their place…

  • Sweep the leg

    I’m SERIOUSLY supposed to act like this guy is intelligent? Ain’t gonna happen. How about you, Jamal?

  • David Kind

    Obama: this is a magnifying glass???
    Blonde girl: I am soo not impressed…

  • Xavier

    Blondie: If you look through it backwards it’ll make your wife’s butt look smaller.
    Hmmm, this reminds me: I’m gonna need a scepter.
    Blondie: What do you mean this side of the table is the back of the bus?
    Blondie: You’re just making that up, Mr. President. The Constitution doesn’t say I have to support Lil’ Jihad for life.

    Barry: It’s right here, you just have to use the Presidential looking glass to see what it says.

  • Flu-Bird

    This is not a magifying glass this is a cook stove of the future when all the gas and oil drilling is cut off to save the polarbears

  • Xavier

    ^ Lil Jihad: I can see it!

  • Hymie Town

    Barry: I will apply my laser like focus and shovel ready jobs will appear…here.

  • Alxandro

    “We need to invest on education, so that you kids can learn how to make better mirrors, because this one really sucks.

  • commander0

    Look how I can vaporize your entire future using only solar energy

  • Aussi-John

    “..and with a high-powered magnifying glass, you can almost see how much the USA means to me…”

  • Tim Fite

    “It’s not a mirror, Mr. President.”

  • CharlesR

    The newest “Green Energy” device but it only works when it’s sunny!

  • Shooter1001

    FAIR SHARE means you give half of your lunch money to Jamal here! EVERY DAY! He doesn’t have to do anything to earn it. That’s fair!

  • czekmark

    Little girl: How did you ever graduate from kindergarten?

  • obama explains to the kids that their White teacher is racist for having given him a colored magnifying glass.

  • coal power

    if you use one of these before I ban them for causing global warming, you can see all the green jobs we’ve created with the billons of tax dollars I’ve spent

  • Shooter1001

    Can’t you read without a finger pointing to the words?

  • Ummah Gummah


    I’m Steve Urkel all grown up!


  • IslandLifer

    Some good ones! Lol! I’ve just one thing to say…”STAY OUT OF THE CLASSROOMS YOU PHONY HALFBRED HATE FILLED GUTTER SCUM!!!

  • Ummah Gummah


    Little Blond Girl to herself: “Wow, that’s a pretty big fly on the side of his head”.


  • STarkFreeorDie

    “Romper, bomper, stomper, boo.
    Tell me, tell me, tell me do.
    Magic mirror, tell them this is no play.
    Cause all the kids here are paying their $400K in taxes beginning today

  • STarkFreeorDie

    or as Romper Room did it they named the kids on the show:
    “Romper, bomper, stomper, boo.
    Tell me, tell me, tell me do.
    Magic mirror, tell Janie and Mikey this is no play
    The Taxes Revenues are accruing as of today.

  • Timmeh

    Finally! There’s that nickel from your lemonade stand.

  • One more-
    Bammer: “If you place thousands of these magic wands together it makes the magic energy farm.”
    Sally: “You rode in on a Unicorn didn’t ya”

  • John

    “and this is how you kids will help me find mommy and daddies mean ol’ guns”

  • wingmann

    “So THIS is the guy that’s ruining my future”

  • epb

    “You, Mr. President, are so not cute!”

  • epb

    “He’s so much weirder than most grown-ups.”

  • epb

    “He’s yuckie.”

  • epb

    “I don’t need a magnifying glass to see what a fake you are.”

  • epb

    “I am not a prop, mister!”

  • CharlesR

    little girl to Obama,”What a Putz.”

  • Ghost of FA Hayek

    Now my dear, in the name of progress you must remember to share with those beneath you.
    I think we will start with this one at the bottom

  • epb

    “Like he really cares.” (roll the eyes)

  • born in 76

    “When I took office, the debt was way down there, so little in todays standard you need a magnifying glass to see it.”

  • epb

    BO: “Hey, kids, let’s play ‘I SPY’!” Me first. “I spy a…

    lil girl: “Dork!”.

    BO: “No. A…”

    lil girl: “A stupid idiot!”

    BO: “No. Now play nice. I spy a…

    lil girl: “A tax you haven’t hiked! An industry you haven’t ruined! Another vacation! A… ”

    BO: I SPY a girl I can’t abort but whose life I’ll ruin!”

  • shotkidneys

    Mister, you are no president.

  • Buffalobob

    Little girl, ” hey mister put your hand on the table and I’ll show you how I burn ants “.

  • KMiles

    “Hey kids, you’ll need one of these to see just how little I care about your future”.

  • Bieks

    “It feels good to finely meet with my job council and search for jobs…”

  • serfin’usa

    Hmmmm, this game sucks. Even with this its impossible to find the Republican’s balls or the Democrat’s brains. Its just not possible!

  • amarok111

    See that crumb of mechanically separated GMO chicken there? That’s what Moochelle has determined is an appropriate school lunch for you. (We don’t want to risk running out of McNuggets for her. You wouldn’t like her when she’s hungry!)

  • Zel

    The real amount of respect Barry has for the USA.

  • TheHurtfulTruth

    Yep, there it is. You kids see that? That all the bread you’ll be able to afford once I finish wrecking the economy.

  • Jodie

    Okay kids, now let’s pretend that this is a laser and these pencil shavings are jobs. See…look at me…I have a laser-like focus on jobs! Be sure to tell your folks!

  • Steve Jones

    My job as your president to to help all you little people!

  • Kenny

    Sorry, Barry. No change in these pockets.

  • SNuss

    “With this magnifying glass, you can almost see my brain”.

  • SNuss

    “See this speck on the table? That is where the fly on my face pooped.”

  • Jane

    “Looking for the end of his very long nose”


    Sally: Mommy, Why did the man with the funny ears have flys all around him?

  • SNuss

    “How, repeat after me: “Barack Hussein Obama, mmm, mmm, mmm…”

  • SNuss

    Correction: “Now, repeat after me: Barack Hussein Obama, mmm, mmm, mmm…”

  • big-pete

    Look kids, living under a magnifying glass isn’t so bad. Look at that ant, he doesn’t seem to mind, in fact…darn, burned up again. Well, there’s always more ants.

  • jazbo

    “You’re not part of my dependency demographic, little girl. I will burn you like an ant”

  • SNuss

    The new un-reality show: “ObamaYouth C.S.I.”

  • big-pete

    Who’s the fairest of them all?

  • big-pete

    With this my list of accomplishments looks quite impressive.

  • MidWestFarmer

    Well yes but with the magnifying glass you can see I really did reduce the deficit.

  • Jane

    “The young and impressionable, not so impressed”

  • Jane

    “Everything I needed to know, I learned in kindergarten”

  • Xavier

    Lardass won’t let me have a Bic so this is how I light my Kools.

  • brwaldbaum

    Classmates that remember Obama.

  • Bob Roberts

    I don’t think we will be able to find any truth in what I’ve said with this… do you have a microscope handy?

  • Xavier

    Now let me show you how to give a prostate massage.

  • Dadof3

    “The exact moment little Emily realized grown ups could be full of shit.”

  • Xavier

    Dreyfus: Give me ten men like Clouseau and I could destroy the world.

    (He may have overestimated)

  • Path

    Sorry, I don’t have a clue.

  • Tchhht!!!

    I’m so lovely, I’m so lovely, I’m so lovely, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, laaaaaaaaaaaa…

  • Xavier

    Anybody else think that drawing on the wall looks like Breitbart with a target on his center of mass?

    Exactly what school is this and what are they teaching?

  • Xavier

    There’s a metallic object hanging on a desk (directly over Barry’s head) that has what appear to be bullet dimples from target practice.

    What the hell is going on at this school?

  • Xavier

    In the drawing on the wall, there’s clearly an AR-15, stock down, in Breitbart’s right hand.

    The pieces of the puzzle are starting to fall into place.

  • Jodie

    LOL!I thought the drawing was George Bush, with his body being blown up.

  • Den

    Lice can leap from head to head and eventually infect this entire camp if we are not dilligent.

  • Scott B

    “Hold on… I think I see the economy.”

  • Jane

    “If you can guess what this is, little girl, I’ll give you some candy”

  • Jane

    “If he keeps this up, I’m going to need to be excused”

  • Piker

    “You’re right, Dr. Watson… I don’t have a clue as to how to fix the economy.”

  • True Blue

    0: “And right here is where the Founders gave the President almost unlimited powers to act via Executive Orders.”

    Girl: “Oh great, now he is reading innumerated powers on an imaginary document… this Emperor really is wearing no clothes.”

  • Jane

    “Keep your eye on my finger; it is a powerful indicator of my wishes.”

  • George

    Daddy’s right, this guy is a lazy Mother F’er, Goofing off here with us when he should be creating those jobs he promises every speech.

  • True Blue

    “See all those zero’s kids? Sixteen trillion is a big number. But don’t worry, when I am done ‘fundamentally transforming Amerika’ only the little girl on my left will have to work to repay it all -you other two will get free money from straight from her pocket every month. Now isn’t that fair for everyone!”

  • SNuss

    “I use this to find loopholes in the Constitution”

  • True Blue

    “See kids, if you look really closely, you can see where the Founders crossed out the words ‘shall not be infringed’ and gave me sweeping executive powers.”

  • SNuss

    “Your share of the debt is $390,524.57. Put it right here.”

  • Tom Chase

    “I’m looking for the savings in Obamacare”

  • Tom Chase

    “These are the cut in spending I have proposed”

  • Tom Chase

    “If look closely you can see the truth in my statement”

  • Tom Chase

    “Watch this tiny copy of the Constitution burst into flames”

  • “Mommy, do I really have to go back to preschool tomorrow? I mean, this really creepy visitor came in today, and …”

  • Tom Chase

    “I’m torturing a tiny Conservative” Tea Partier, Conservative, Constitutional Conservative, Taxpayer,Christian, Republican

  • SNuss

    Correction: “Your share of the debt is $52,643.14. Put it right here.”

    “I want the first installment of your $390,524.57 share of unfunded liabilities. Put it right here.”

  • Tom Chase

    “Look at the jobs I’ve created!!!!”

  • “Then you focus the Sun’s rays like this and catch the money on fire….. just like if it was a bug”

  • SNuss

    “Workin’ on mysteries without any clues”

    Hat tip to Bob Seger-“Night Moves”

  • Steve

    We have a video of the big crash at Daytona posted now…

  • AJ

    “The reason there are no words on it Mr. President, is because it’s a magnifying glass, NOT a hand-held teleprompter like the vice president told you.”

  • Clink

    “Hey kids, ever heard the story of the Grasshopper and the Ant? Well, that ant right there is a Republican. Watch what this grasshopper does to him”.

  • coregis

    Nope,this isn’t the table I lost my virginity on…..

  • micayden

    Yes, I know. My mom and dad voted for you. But, is that all I have left of my future?

  • Louisiana Steve

    It’s true! I’m a vampire!

  • Jane

    “It’s never too early to get out the new vote”

  • Jane

    “Indoctrinate, Indoctrinate, the name of the game.”

  • AngryK9

    Mirror, mirror in my hand,who’s the greatest in the land?

  • G. Fox

    My Pap Fox was right, you are full of shit! 🙂

  • AngryK9

    Mirror, mirror in my paw, you can’t own guns, now it’s the law.

  • AngryK9

    Mirror, mirror in my grip. I won’t go down with the sinking ship.

  • AngryK9

    Mirror, mirror, in my fist, of my detractors I keep a list.

  • AngryK9

    Mirror, mirror in my meathook…..oh nevermind. I don’t have anything that rhymes with meathook.

  • AngryK9

    Mirror, mirror in my meathook, I’ll keep their income that I took.

  • TED
  • Jane

    “The New Fairy Tales”

  • Jane

    “It’s right there; would I lie to you?”

  • Vermin

    So you say this is called a table?

  • Deadweezyl

    Can you help me find my economics? It was right here….

  • Rainbow Utopia

    Aren’t these cool kids? I got these from my buddies at Solyndra. Yours for only 600,000$ each.

  • Bill T

    Who let this DWEEB into our classroom for show and tell?

  • “Umm, well, first of all the little black boy is smarter and better-looking than that honkie white kid.”

  • LyleLovett666

    No kidding.This is really the size of bidens brain.

  • Mop

    Look that is how much money i’ll leave you.

  • ThisObamaNation

    Obama appears to be looking for a clue.

  • Joe C

    Barack examines the children closely to see just how much more debt the next generation might be able handle.

  • Q Man

    Wait…wait…I can almost see those promised spending cuts.

  • John Charles

    Little girl saying to herself: “This doofis runs the country!?!”

  • WTSherman1864

    See my royal booger? It’s a good snack, kids!

  • 1200intell

    “…so this is how much we cut government spending and then the “Media Filters” make it look bigger than it really is…”

  • Trickydick

    See right there !! that’s the hut I was born in, in Kenya.

  • 4farms

    if you look through this magnifying glass you’ll see what’s left of your parent’s America – but I’m working on that tiny bit too.

  • Alexis

    The future will not belong to those who have white skin and blond hair.

  • nraendowment

    That tiny vanishing speck? That’s your future.

  • Gail Vigil

    “Heeeeeey, this ain’t my Teleprompter…..”

  • Mr Evilwrench

    Mom, I was sick of Bronco Bama already, then he showed up at my school.

  • Mr Evilwrench

    Kids, this is a magnifying glass. With this you can see me magnified in my true glory.

  • WhiteFalcon1

    There it is….right there, your very last civil right!

  • csanad

    If I had a bicep, it would look just like young Trayvon’s head over here.

  • Rubie Styles

    Portrait of America: Two Children…One will grow up to resist government tyranny, the other will not.

  • Bill Jones

    At the end of my second term you’ll have this much.

  • Sarge

    No, I can’t find any place to make cuts!”

  • GoinSane

    My first attempt was a quote, so here’s a caption:

    President Obama discovers break through technology that magically increases size of federal budget. Racist Tea Party critic questions president’s intelligence.

  • chester arthur

    Look,right there,you can see my spending cuts.

  • Hillman

    Look real hard little Jethro. That’s all that will be left for the little white girl when we get down looting her kind to pay for all of our wants and needs.

  • coregis

    “I can see my morals with this!”

  • RayNAiken

    Little Girl: “I don’t need a stinking magnifying glass to see you are full of caca del toro.”

  • Jeffrey Morgan

    Look very closely children, you can see my integrity.

  • See that tiny spot? That’s my integrity.

  • Sorry, Jeff. I just popped mt response in before reading the prior thread.

  • s/mt/my/

    I need another cup of coffee…

  • elizabeth

    And who’s the prettiest President of them all? Me, of course.

    5 year old Madison is NOT impressed.

  • Ricardo

    You’re right Buckwheat she is a honkie.

  • SparkyWT

    This is how we burn the Constitution using the awesome free power provided by the sun, augmented by Me.

  • Joseph Heckmann

    That’s not a mirror dumbass!

  • Maudie N Mandeville

    Is that your last dime?

  • whipplebear

    Is this idiot for real?

  • DJ

    Little white girl: I’m feeling sick in my tummy. Bronko Bama smells like a poopy diaper

  • Brian_Boru

    “See kids, with a little sunlight, you can burn a hole right through the Constitution.”

  • fiona

    “Mirror, mirror, in my hand, who’s the koolest in the land?”

  • Comrade Kulak

    Comrades I’m looking for those Polish death camps in all 57 states because a corpseman is missing.

  • nick

    ya see kids, i promised mr. soro i’d be “Billy Madison” today.

  • nick

    ya see kids, i promised mr. soros id be “Billiy madison” today

  • nick

    see me kids going through the budget line by line, just like i promised your dumb assed parents

  • nick

    the table kids are thinkin..”why does shit head get the real one”

  • nick

    and on a lighter note today, president obama showed some kindergartner’s the fine art of fingerpointing

  • nick

    here is president obama today, trying to explain to kindergartners what communism is while holding a magnifying glass, and pointing to the table for no apparent reason

  • JOHN


  • jc14

    Little blonde girl: “Man, is this Doofus really the President? I need to go home and shoot my parents, both of whom actually voted for this dolt.
    “Miss Patterson! Can I get a hall pass? Gotta run home for a minute . . .”

  • Jon Brooks

    “And this is how you’ll have to find America when you grow up kids, after I’m done.”

  • Mag26

    Snack time under Moochelle

  • Frank

    (thought-cloud from little girl): “What an asshole!”

  • Jane

    “She says. ‘Call me doubtful'”

  • epb

    “You got really big ears. That mole is ugly looking. Leave my stuff alone.”
    (Kids say the darndest things)

  • Ivey Parker

    “There’s still a speck of dignity left on you, young American. I’ll get to work right away on removing it.”

  • Zack R

    Using this, you can see how I drastically reduced the national debt by making the needed cuts to our welfare system. Just kidding, we’ll need to break out the microscope.

  • Jinks

    I hold in my hand “change” You will need it to find “hope”

  • WTSherman1864

    Choom! Intercepted! Don’t bogart my booger!

  • Sam Adams

    And this is how I look through each line of each bill to eliminate waste, fraud, and abuse.

  • Stick

    See, right there, there ARE Sequester cuts.

  • Jim S

    I’ve found it!!!!!! Joe Biden’s last remaining brain cell.

  • Pingback: Moonbattery » Caption Contest Winner()

  • bill iiams

    how much bull do i have to listen to

  • Blondie: What’s the matter with grownups.. is this the bestest person they could find to be President?

  • DoorGunner

    Sorry for the late entry,

    There, see, it’s my soul, right there!

  • DJ


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