Mar
02
2013
Caption Contest
Leave a comment providing the winning caption to the picture above and win a free Moonbattery.com t-shirt, suitable for any formal occasion, courtesy of the esteemed countermoonbats at Party Crasher.
The winner will be announced Monday. Free shirts need to be claimed within a week (i.e., I need a US mailing address). T-shirts for the contest are available in blue L or XL only, although white shirts and other sizes are available directly from Party Crasher, along with an excellent selection of other t-shirts guaranteed to cause moonbats to sputter with impotent rage.
Via Frontiers of Freedom.
avoiding the mic on the right…as usual.
“I only moved the goalpost this far”
Really!! It was this big and i cought it right in that big pond by # 18!!
“Whoa. The size of Michelle’s is THIS BIG! Feel me???”
Obama performing the Jedi Mind Meld for the DC Police
Seriously, the police batons I’m gonna shove up your collective asses in the form of tax increases are only going to be this big. Be good little Stalinists and embrace the pain. For the childrennnnn.
Pay no attention to the mannequins behind me…
Moochells wiener is this big
Obama supporters broken down…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzqmSuP_iKY
The biggest skeet I shot was this big. I’m tellin ya, I shoot ‘em all the time.
So I moosh her titties together like THIS, purse my lips like THIS, and that’s how I motorboat, folks.
What do you mean by “props”?
“I am not a dictator and those of you say otherwise will be arrested!”
“Allow me to introduce my Police Czars that will enforce my executive dictates, er, … orders.”
I love America this much.
Imam in Chief Obama and his own Shariah Law Enforcement revolutionaries.
Missing the spotlight, Paul Ryan crashes Obama photo-op.
Obama, An American Nazi
“Ich bin eine Fuhrer President”
Sure hope the secret service unloaded all their weapons !
“Now while the rest of you will be home one extra day a week, know that I and my counterparts, will be receiving full pay.”
“I’m shrinking the Second Amendment down to this size.”
“I promise you, the president has a big stick,” just ask Joe.
Wait a minute! WTH is going on here?
http://iowntheworld.com/blog/?p=174296
“This is what Reggie did to my bunghole.”
1st entry
“I am not a crook!”
2nd entry
“I did not have sexual relations with that women…..”
I wish Muchelle’s ass was only this BIG!
I once had a nose this long before i got plastic surgery
Because of sequester cuts, all of these police will die horrible deaths. I will now take questions about the ways we can blame Republicans.
We’re only gonna stick it in the makers this much…
Yes, I put those white faces near mine so you don’t notice that the typical Afro-American is a shade or two darker than I am.
Nevertheless, the police acted stupidly. And I will continue to receive their vote.
I do not need guns because these hands are registered weapons.
BO used to eat Kobe beef steaks this big, but now because of the sequester he will starve. You don’t want the poor first dog to starve do you? All these dog trainers behind me will have to go back to their old jobs as police officers.
“…It’s 10:12am and 37 degrees outside”.
Gun control was yesterday’s speech. Today is healthcare. Can someone put these props in those white lab coats?
“This lie is only this big”
It wasn’t a big lie, it was only this big.
five dollar…five dollar..five dollar footlong. This teleprompter is sponsord by Subway now, thanks to the sequester cuts.
We took their guns, right? That skinhead guy is making me nervous.
I had this much left to sink a birdie on the 16th and win $1000 from Tiger.
I miss Reggie’s this much ! ! !
“I’m going to feed you this much bullshit about the sequester, every day, until you accept that the Republicans are to blame”.
“This was NOT worth the $50 they paid me. Took like 45 minutes for the art department to get me into this uncomfortable cop uniform and another ten to get me out so I can pee. To top it off, I don’t get to display any of my range. I studied at Julliard for heaven’s sake. Asked ‘what’s my motivation’ and the director says ‘not to fall asleep’. Hilarious. Baby steps Lafawnda. Baby steps. A few more of these and we’ll be booking school shootings once a week! Now Sandy Hook, THAT was a real actor’s piece…ooh, ooh, gonna raise my eyebrows now, add a little subtext.”
Look, you don’t need us to tell you that gas prices are necessarily on the rise.
Teleprompter thumbnails!!
It will only take me a about this much longer to destroy the evil Constitution and send these peoople behind me after the bourgeoisie.
“I swear, my Health Care Bill will save THIS much!”
my wife’s ass is this big
.
Ooooooooooooooooommmmmmmm… Oooooobaaaaamaaaaaaa…..
.
I’m pleased to announce a new tax on members of the military who have a nice view of my skinny ass.
I grabbed him by the hips, bowed down, puckered up like this and planted a big one on his ass. I sure miss the Down Low Club at my old church. Sex with Bo just doesn’t cut it anymore.
Policing the press. “Where’s Woodward? … My “staff” has a few questions to ask him.”
so if you have a gun that propels a bullet farther than this, it should be banned
giving the commencement speech at the Police Academy, Obama wonders who is under the podium……
Now that I’ve repealed “Don’t ask, don’t tell” I can say without fear of backlash that Reggie Love was a man sized man, nomesayin?
I noted someone else beat me to a “Reggie Love” caption, unfortunately.
Watch how fast I can slap my hands together and finally kill that capitalist fly that keeps landing on my face!
“Let’s give a big hand to the recruits for Operation Dead Snow.”
(once again proving Godwin’s Law)
By conjuring the image of Reagan in his mind, one officer was able to resist the Evil One.
“And then Chris Matthews grabbed me from behind, and started kissing my ass, like this”.
I hold your ass in my hands just so. Then I blow my smoke up it.
yeah,reggie’s this big
From the group behind Obama: “Is this putz EVER going to STFU?”
“So your telling me you wont disarm America”?
Come Republicans and lets do a Jedi Mind Meld.
I know you folks have a lot of faith in me, but even a messiah can’t solve all problems of the world. (chuckle)
This is how I kiss myself in the mirror every morning…those yahoos in the back have seen it many times before, so I can understand why they’re staring off into space.
I have a snake under the podium.
Failed Subway marketing campaign #156257
“$5 trillion, $5 trillion, $5 trillion dollar footlong”
“…obviously, the three white cops acted stupidly.”
we’re broke!
My Gestapo is for public safety ONLY. Besides, we created over 200,000 jobs with the new agency.
Stymied and speechless without his beloved teleprompter, Barack Obama is reduced to incoherent grunts and primative hand gestures, when asked to describe his favorite thing about Reggie Love.
Reggie is this big!!! You would need these guys to protect you too!!!
IF you can’t grasp this lie…well,I have many more for you.
“The next whopper I tell is gonna be at least this big”
“It’s called my way or the highway!”
“I promise you that by the end of the decade we will stack our deficit so high it will reach the moon.”
Obama demonstrates how big his nose would be if he were Gepetto’s puppet rather than George’s.
the moose and me gots an understanding
WARNING!!!
2 Billion Rounds of Ammunition is being STOCK PILED by Our Government. It has been SECRETLY puchased with OUR TAX DOLLARS, without our knowledge or consent. Because We The People, are the ones paying for that Ammunition, that Ammunition belongs to US.
We need to demand that the US Government now place that Ammunition under the direct control of the US Tax Payers, since we are the ones who were forced to purchase that Ammo without our knowledge or consent, and since our Government CLEARLY CANNOT BE TRUSTED.
Perhaps we should start a petition demanding that the RIGHTFUL OWNERS OF THE AMMUNITION (the American People) have access to that Ammunition and control over it, since that AMMUNITION RIGHTFULLY BELONGS TO US.
“We are all breaking our oath to defend the Constitution in perfect harmony”
“I tried to get Sheriffs who are elected by the people to stand behind me, but they refused, so I had to get these politically appointed oath breaking police chiefs and their subordinate lackeys instead.”
http://cspoa.org/sheriffs-gun-rights/
You have such a beautiful neck, come closer my dear.
Then Obama loudly proclaimed, “Nations and peoples of every language, this is what you are commanded to do: As soon as you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipe and all kinds of music, you must fall down and worship the image of gold that I have set up. Whoever does not fall down and worship my image will immediately be thrown into a blazing furnace.”
“Let me be clear, I have to lie to the Americans who voted for me because they are the ones proving to eat up all the bullshit I utter.”
“In your dreams Barry” quipped M’Chel
selling the drama
“If you’re bashful I got a snake sitting under my desk here,” State Rep. Ernest Hewett can be heard telling a 17-year-old girl during a Feb. 20 committee meeting. “Now folks no reason to be alarmed the snake was only this big”
“Bin Ladin was only this far from me when I killed him with my bare hands.”
“Ich schwöre bei Gott diesen heiligen Eid, daß ich dem Führer des Amerikaner Reiches und Volkes Barack Hussein Obama, dem Oberbefehlshaber der Wehrmacht, unbedingten Gehorsam leisten und als tapferer Soldat bereit sein will, jederzeit für diesen Eid mein Leben einzusetzen.”
“I swear by God this sacred oath that to the Leader of the American empire and people, Barack Hussein Obama, supreme commander of the armed forces, I shall render unconditional obedience and that as a brave soldier I shall at all times be prepared to give my life for this oath.”
circa: 1934-2013
As per my above contest submission:
Notice the same eyes-glazed-over looks of the oath takers of then, compared to today?
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4f/Bundesarchiv_Bild_102-16108%2C_Vereidigung_von_Reichswehr-Soldaten_auf_Hitler.jpg
I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.
Feigned interest, surprise, resignation – a range of emotions in the background as barack explains “mi’chelle’s behind used to be tight. And it was only this wide – like a man’s. Like Reggie Love’s.”
As I have said before:
We cannot continue to rely on our military in order to achieve the national security objectives we’ve set. We’ve got to have a civilian national security force that’s just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded.
Stand back! I don’t know how big this thing will get!
“When I clap my hands together I can make all your dreams come true, like magic! One… Two… Two & a half… Two & three quarters… “
I was talking to Billy Bob Clinton the other night and he did not believe that mine was this large.. Ask the lady behind my right side, she still has that “Deer in the headlight looks from our encounter”.. Proof is in the pudding…
“and when i was a memeber of the choom gang, we smoked doobie’s this big !”
“the average line of blow for me is this long !”
I am not a dictator but if I was, I would grab boehner’s head like this and squeeze unitl he signed the house over to me
So as you can see, these folks behind me have all been hypnotized. Now watch this, when I clap my hands once, they will all look at me adoringly. When I snap my fingers, they will laugh and nod their heads.
and Now I will show you the muslim mind meld
I then we grabbed the goat like this and oops never mind
Boogie! Boogie! Boogie! Sequester! Boggie! Boogie!
“and after the sequester, we will lose 170 million jobs, have no janitors, and this is all that will remain of the DC police force. Don’t believe me, just ask Maxine Waters.”
“So there are people who say that America will actually still EXIST after the sequester on Friday? Pfft, there is about as much truth in that as people saying that I’m a Kenyan Communist that hates America!”
“If I had a daddy, we would have gone fishin’ and caught one this big…..but I’m just a bastard.”
“This diverse group of useless idiots behind me cares what I’m saying about this much.”
(Woman to herself): “Oh my gosh his pants are on fire – look up! Don’t look at it…don’t look at it…don’t look at it!”
Okay, who’s goosing me?
From the guy, stage left: “If I only had my Taser, I’d light him up like a Christmas tree”.
“I asked for brown-shirts, but this was the best they could do, on such short notice”.
Heil, Obama.
Idiocracy – The Prequel
-Here we see the popular new show: “Ow, my president”-
“and now that America understands that ObamaCare was the worst piece of legislation ever enacted, I want to point out that it was not my fault – ObamaCare could not have passed without Republican votes!!!”
“Excuse me while I whip this out!”
I’ve got the whole world in my hands!
I’ve got the whooole world in my hands!
“It takes two hands to handle a WHOPPER”
After a hot night at Man Country, my butt hole feels this wide.
” W-ww-ww what c’you talkin’ bout Willis?”
What I’m saying, and let me be clear, is I am a dictator.
“…cup armor, up to yeah big, shall be issued…”
Blonde, female waiter dressed up as a pretend cop, on Obama’s right:
“No way his is THAT big! Not on that little weasel . . .”
Aliens
“When I first met Michelle, her ass was only this wide.”
We are this far away from fundamentally transforming America.
What is a Basket Ball?
Let me be perfectly clear ANAL CRANIAL INJECTION should only be attempted by trained professionals like myself or PROFESSIONAL POLITICANS.
“…It’s just that I heard the other day somebody mentionned Michelle she had grown with me being in office and then said we should rename to the Wide House,,, eh, uh, I mean how can I hold on to that after another 4 years?”
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