To grownups who point out that carbon emissions help plants to grow, moonbats have come up with a devastating response: plants cause global warming — particularly the plants that make up suburban lawns, which by an amazing coincidence symbolize the middle class that liberals are bent on destroying:
When it comes to reducing carbon footprints, many Americans need look no further than their front yards. The soil beneath those perfectly manicured carpets of green grass—the pride of many suburban homeowners—is pumping surprising amounts of carbon into the atmosphere. That’s according to a study published this month in the Soil Science Society of America Journal, which concludes that the amount of carbon rising from the soil of residential lawns is significantly greater than that from the soil of agricultural land—in this case, irrigated fields of corn. … Carbon is naturally deposited into soil by dead plant matter. When those plants begin to decompose, it is released back into the atmosphere as carbon dioxide, where it contributes to climate change.
“Climate change” is of course what they call global warming now that many people are aware that it hasn’t gotten any warmer for the past 16 years, in direct contradiction to the hysterical theories of our envirofascist overlords.
The solution is obvious: tax lawns. Just to be on the safe side, we had better tax cornfields too.
On a tip from Kevin in Auburn, WA.