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May 04 2013

Caption Contest


Leave a comment providing the winning caption to this classic picture of our “practically perfect vice president” and win a free t-shirt, suitable for any formal occasion, courtesy of the esteemed countermoonbats at Party Crasher.

The winner will be announced Monday. Free shirts need to be claimed within a week (i.e., I need a US mailing address). T-shirts for the contest are available in blue L, blue XL, and white XL only, although other sizes can be purchased directly from Party Crasher, along with an excellent selection of other t-shirts guaranteed to cause moonbats to sputter with impotent rage.

On tips from Just TheTip and Varla.

  • Reluse

    “Damn! If I was a muzzie I could hang the bastard.”

  • Sam Adams

    You want to remove your hand or pull back a bloody stump?

  • Sam Adams

    Somebody on the back row look jealous.

  • Sam Adams

    I’m sorry, Mr. Vice President. I guess us red-necked hicks aren’t as progressive as you and your boss.

  • Hal

    VP Bidey: Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

  • Sam Adams

    Bubba…does it look like I am here for a good time?

    What the hell are you liberals thinking?

  • Sam Adams

    What’s the problem, Joe? Fighting with the wife again? Or has she just lost the ability to tolerate morons?

  • Jimdandy

    Get your @#(&$# Petticoat off my Junction, boy.

  • gemalo

    He wants to ban guns? I think we need to ban morons.

  • epb

    “Hi, I’m Joe Biden, and I’m a chubby chaser.”

  • Jeepers

    Go away boy, you bother me.

  • What are you a queer? Get your hand off my knee.

  • epb

    Let’s play Cops n Robbers… Squeeze me, Mr. Policeman, sir. Please handcuff me. I’ve been a very bad boy. …. Aren’t you going to arrest me, officer? Officer!, where you going? Come back!…

  • -sepp

    You have about 3 seconds to get your dickbeater off of me.

  • True Blue

    “Hey Sheriff; have you ever been in a Turkish Prison?”


    Sheriff; “I knew I shouldn’t have gone and seen a TSA training video with thus guy…”

  • epb

    Biden: You’re a little old to be a Boy Scout!

  • epb

    Biden: You’ll do in a pinch.

  • Pico’s Mexican Hairpiece

    Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: Easy there human buttplug Biden.

    Joey Butt Plugs: Will you shoot 2 shotgun rounds off the balcony with me?

  • epb

    Sheriff: Excuse, Mr. Vice President, but who the fuck do you think you are?

  • epb

    So inappropriate. So disrespectful. So clueless. So Biden.

  • Rowley

    We all voted against that in this state, boy.

  • epb

    Clean. Articulate. No Indian accent. “Helloooo….

  • Grunt

    Biden to Sheriff: “Show me what a real man feels like.”

  • epb

    Sheriff: If it was anybody else, or if we were in a different venue I’d…

    Biden: *tut *tut I’m a Democrat, and the VP; haven’t you been paying attention: the law doesn’t apply to me.

  • Sheriff Joe always had a thing for men in uniform.

  • marcus t. cicero


  • Louis

    Will you be my Reggie Love? XOXO

  • epb

    Jason Collins wannabe.

  • Jane

    “Come up and see me sometime”, he says.

    “Mmm, I will, my little chickadee”, the sheriff replies.

    (Mae West and W C.Fields-adapted from “My Little Chickadee”

  • born in 76

    “There better be a doughnut in that hand Joe”

  • TimK

    “Sheriff, the difference between a rifle and a gun…”

  • Mary

    Not now Joe, people are watching!

  • Jane

    Reminds me of Mooch putting her hand on Bubba’s knee…as she looks the other way, off into space, and he leans as far away from her as he can…(too bad no pictures on this site)

    Also reminds me of Biden and the biker babe…It’s a wonder he didn’t suffer a sudden pain on that one…I always wonder what happened to the babe after Biden and his bodyguards left.

    Apparently these clueless big shots think they are always welcome to invade anyone’s space, at will.

  • Bluto

    Compassionate Joe shares a touching moment with a Boy Scout who has progeria.

  • Zip

    Barry may go that way but I don’t son, move your hand.

  • Jane

    Others try not to watch as Slo-Joe surreptiously slides his sweaty palm onto no-man’s-land

  • dmgore

    Is that a double barrel?

  • JoeK Loth

    “I’ll show ya my shotgun if ya show me yours first, wink,wink!!”

  • facebkwallflower

    A fairy in a ‘no fairy zone’

  • Scott Hall

    I’m glad you have a big gun, I can’t pass the background check

  • StanInTexas

    Aw CRAP. Now I gotta kill this white boy!

  • Ummah Gummah


    Don’t worry about the boss, he’s spending the weekend with Reggie.. let’s you and I get real comfortable after this is over..


  • You know, my teeth come out. No scraping.

  • You know I’m running in 2016. In a few years you can say that you have the President a Lewinsky.

  • Restless

    That ain’t why I carry handcuffs.

  • SandyS

    Biden with a smile – “I’m ready to squeal like a pig….”

  • Linda Stewart

    Wanna take a spin in my kick-ass Trans Am?

  • Strnj1

    It was self defense…

  • Jane

    Isn’t this a little sudden?

  • Jane

    On the other hand, Joe, I think I’ll pass…

  • Jane

    Did I tell you that I was a boy scout myself once?

  • White_Polluter

    “I like you Sgt. Jimmy, but frankly, I prefer a stronger man.”

  • Jane

    If I behave myself, will you give me a ride in your cruiser?

  • Jane

    Would you like to be in my motorcade?

  • Title of Liberty

    Biden: Mister, I love the way you wear that hat. And you play a mean banjo.
    Sheriff: Don’t ever do nothin’ like this again. Don’t come back up here.
    Biden: You don’t have to worry about that, Sheriff.
    Sheriff: Anybody know anything about the law?
    Biden: I was on a jury once.
    Sheriff: Talk about genetic deficiencies-isn’t that pitiful?

  • An Upstart

    Just sit there and be cool Porky, Uncle Joe not so crazy. Smooth moves like this will do wonders for my 2016 progressive bona fides

  • epb

    Biden: Can I get me a piece of that yum-yum, double-dip…

  • Jeanine

    All eyes are on Joe …. how far will he go?

  • epb

    WTF, r u drunk?

  • Apostle53

    I bet you got testicles like billiard balls!

    His likened comment to father of one of the dead operatives in Benghazi. What if Joe was a Republican he’d be finished by now?

  • Douglas

    I thought the president was…

  • Beth

    Get a shotgun…. get a shotgun!

  • Jane

    Whaddaya say, Officer Dude, we do a little stakeout tonight?

  • Lawman thinks to himself, “He’s lucky the Secret Service made me unload my sidearm for this photo op.”

  • Dave

    “Damn! Everywhere you go!”

  • Jane

    I see a future for you out there, Sarge!

  • R Daneel

    It’s my turn next week. First Gay V-P evah! Want to join me?

  • Jane

    Only in America!

  • Jane

    Happiness is a thing called Joe…..

  • Cb

    I couldn’t make it to the bath house with Barry, so … How ya doin’ Sheriff?

  • True Blue

    Sheriff; “Gentlemen, it looks like this here boy’s about to have himself an ‘accident’…”

  • Ruby Soho

    Wanna play chicken with Uncle Joe?

  • SNuss

    Take your hand off my knee, or I’ll feed you my nightstick.

  • obozo1

    Boy you got a purty mouth.

  • IslandLifer

    Everything our government puts its hands on instantly becomes useless.

  • Jason Engstrom

    “Do I LOOK like I play in the NBA?”

  • George

    I know gay rights is the number one priority to you guys in the White House, But Buford don’t Play that Way!

  • chester arthur

    The love scene in the ‘My Little Chickadee’ remake in the era of bath-house Barry.

  • chester arthur

    Sheriff:’All in all,I’d rather be in Philadelphia.’

  • Jane

    Hey Sarge, Howsabout we do a little “Huggin n Chalkin”….

  • chester arthur

    ‘The look,the feel of cotton,the fabric of our lives..hey,wait a minute!’

  • chester arthur

    Biden finally does something not stolen from Neil Kinnock,and makes the last bad choice of his life.

  • Jane

    Say it ain’t so, Joe?

  • czekmark

    Hands off, pervert!!

  • chester arthur

    Ever since this incident,the Vice President has been missing.His friend,the sheriff,has no comment,but has been seen with a mysterious smile on his face;and carelessly displaying a ticket stub from a single one-way tourist class ticket to Benghazi.

  • George

    “Mr.Vice President, I know gay rights are the number one priority to you guys in the White House, But Buford don’t Play that Way!”

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    Officer…There is a snake in my trousers.

  • Tchhht!!!

    Hey Joe, can I borrow your shotgun?

  • Scotty

    Take Your Stinkin’ Paws Off Me You Damn Dirty Ape!

  • True Blue

    Joe Biden demonstrates that it isn’t just guns he wants to grab.

    Just before the photo was taken, Joe Biden was heard to whisper; “Hey sheriff, let me show you why they all call me Cool Hand Luke…”

  • WTSherman1864

    Shiiit, son! I don’t want your autygraph that bad!

  • WTSherman1864

    Son, you chose a real bad time to come outta that there closet! Now get them paws off my knee, fudge packer!

  • rex freeway

    Your fart smells Muslim food and regret

  • The first thing im gonna do is punch your mama in the mouth….Buford T. Justice

  • brodougie

    Ed: Look, what is it that you require of us?

    Plugs Biden: What we, uh, “re-quire” is that you get your god-damn asses up in them woods.

  • SR

    Get your filthy paw off my Glock, Joe!

  • Conan

    Biden singing: “Let’s get together and feel alright…”

  • Joe: I had rather hear a fat boy fart than hear a pretty women sing any day sweetie sheriff!!

  • SR

    I know you guys are for gay rights, but this good old boy don’t swing that way.

  • Steve
  • Sim

    “Is that a gun or are you just glad to see me trooper ?”

  • notPropertyOfTheState

    STRESS: Comes in many forms,,, it can be job related, it can involve personal relations, but in this case it is the forced suppression of the need to punch someone that needs punching……

  • John Knoefler

    Touchy Feely just got real. How’s this for a thrill up your leg?

  • bill

    Joey, I don’t carry a “big stick” like barack, you’ll have to go higher up!

  • randy schrein er

    Ah my little chickadee move that hand or lose it

  • Buffalobob

    I hear banjoes.

  • Alphamail

    Stimulus Porkulous – reach out and entitle someone.

  • Bob Roberts

    Doesn’t need captions, needs cartoon balloons:

    Joe Biden, thinking: HOT-DAMN, made it to first base!

    Fat Cop, thinking : What the… is this one of them homer-sexuals I been hearin’ about? He’d better move it if he doesn’t want to lose it!

    Probably some good lines for the two in the back, too.

  • Odin’s Ravens

    VP Bite Me: Jason Collins is my favorite player.

    Sargent Fester: WTF?

  • where you goin city boy?

    Theme from Deliverance (Duelling Banjos) plays in the background. People in the back wonder where they have heard that tune before.

  • John

    The sheriff is – WC Fields!

  • Ummah Gummah


    “Did your son always have balls the size of cue balls?”


  • Ummah Gummah


    In the meantime you have to dig around on foreign sites to find this sad and infuriating bit of news:

    5 soldiers killed by an IED and two murdered by an Afghan they were on patrol with.

    We all know they’re supposed to pretend that the Afghans are our “friends”, resulting in these sort of murders.

    Nothing but minor bumps in the road.. GOD, I HATE libs!!


  • Xavier

    Hmmm these instructions Barry wrote down don’t seem to be working…

  • Xavier

    A TV Guide review impels Beavis to act out a scene from Will and Grace at precisely the wrong time.

  • Xavier

    Barry always throws the most fabulous cosplay parties!

  • Xavier

    Slow Joe’s having his recurrent fantasy where he says, “I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States…” and got his left and right hands confused again.

  • Defensive Joey

    Well it’s his fault! He rolled up that paper and teased me with it!

  • Alexis444

    To say you’re skating on thin ice, Mr. Biden, would be an understatement.

  • oldguy

    No comment necessary.

  • Xavier

    Sheriff, I have here the President’s directive for all border patrol personnel to begin implementing his Same Sex Amnesty For Incoming Mexicrats Decree. You just put your hand on their leg like this and say, “Del otro lado? Bienvenida.”

  • Xavier

    Even though he was the guest of honor at her Halloween party, Joey committed a major faux pas when he hit on Roseanne. Ellen and Portia (second row) can be seen expressing their disapproval.

  • Clingtomyguns

    Biden – Sheriff, it’s your patriotic duty to let me put my hand here.

    Sheriff – Boy, you betta get cha hand offa my leg or I’m gonna barbeque your ass in molasses!

  • Franco

    In the midst of his dementia-induced fog, Joe fancied himself sitting next to Chris Matthews

  • epb

    Biden: Let’s play ‘Chicken’
    Sheriff in front: Great googly-moogly!…
    Sheriff in back: Oh no she didn’t!…
    Official: Hand check! Hand check!!

  • epb

    Biden: Lets pretend I’m Clinton and you’re Monica.

  • epb

    Take it like a man!

  • epb

    Hiya big boy. Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

  • la

    Say, you remember that scene from Deliverance….

  • epb

    This ain’t a Kathy Griffin or a Lisa Lampinelli performance!

  • Gary Benson

    Are you a fag or what?

  • Moonbaba

    If looks could kill. If only looks could kill.

  • Miz Barkee

    “Move that hand before I put an eff’n big deal on your head!”

  • Moonbaba

    “Looking for love in all the wrong places.”

  • junkyard infidel

    Damn, this dumb cracker thinks he’s still in San Francisco !

  • Shooter1001

    y’all best move yo han offa mah leg or I’ll stick a cattle prod so far up yo ass you’ll sound like Rick Perry

  • Shooter1001

    The grey haired liberal fag behind you grabbed your ass Joe, not me!

  • Chris

    Clearly Biden misunderstood when the officer said he was out of touch

  • Shooter1001

    Easy does it Joe, rules down here say ‘you touch it you…

  • Shooter1001

    Pitcher or catcher?

  • Jim

    When you said you wanted to grab guns, I thought you meant firearms!


  • Lawrence Smith

    OOOO a white one ! want me to brown it up for ya ?

  • You fixin to lose that hand BOY!

  • Alman

    Whoa! Better call the wife. Looks as though my dance card for tonight is full!

  • Shooter1001

    Hey Buford, just think of it as a car chase on the Hershey Highway.

  • DaletheNerd

    Call me Pepe Le Bi-Bi. Let me put a Hedy Lamar wig on you and meet me at the Casbah donut emporium.


  • chronos the wonder pig

    “…you know, if your nervous about this we could double date with Barry & Jason Collins…”

  • grayjohn

    Hey Sheriff, tell me how you feel about that Collins kid.

  • Canis lupus


  • Lepke

    Oh I never saw a white one that big !

  • Gustavo

    You sure got a pretty mouth, sheriff.

  • Bee

    “Oh I come from Alabama
    with a dipwad on my kneeeee”

  • Fuckleberry Hinn

    I bet you have a big gun that is begging for some controlling.

  • Dedwzyl

    Hey guy, can I fire off both your barrels?

  • Dooley

    Yaddda mean, I’m “it”?

  • GoinSane

    Officers upset after learning that due to budget cuts the only benefit they’ll receive for attending this function is a groping from a government official.

  • GoinSane

    Officer: Mr. Vice-President, that’s not my knee.

    VP Biden: Oh, good, I thought I was having another stroke.

  • jc14

    Cop: “Best move that hand real quick, shit-for-brains, or I’ll stuff it up your ass (wait, he might like that); or I’ll cut if off and jam the stump in your mouth (wait, he might like that, too).
    “Ah, the hell with it . . .”

  • coregis

    If you don’t move your hand now you’ll need more than what Obamacare offers….

  • Johnicus

    Joe, you DO realize Im a man…right?…

  • opiate-of-the-liv’s

    Can’t you just go back to putting your foot in your mouth on camera?

  • opiate-of-the-liv’s

    Boy, my name is Sheriff Frank Barney, not Barney Frank.

  • bigjoe

    “Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?”

  • Contessa61

    “Don’t worry pal, we won’t take your gun away.”

  • Heatha

    So that explains it.That is why he picked you for VP.

  • “What we have here is a complete lack of respect for the Law…”

  • Rich

    Mr. Vice President, we seem to have a failure of communication herrah.

    An’ if this sit-u-ation don’ change right quick, yew will soon see God.

  • Ttommy

    Priceless! I almost hate to see him leave office. He’s a buffoon and totally irrelevant. Always good for a good laugh and too out of it to realize people are laughing at him, not with him. This picture reminds me of the look that biker gave him in the restaurant when his “old lady” was sitting on Biden’s lap. You know he was thinking “I’d clean your clock if your body guards weren’t around”.

  • If you let me be a friend to you, I can get you money for matching pants.

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