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Oct 31 2011

How Occupy Anarchists Handle Rape

If the Occupy crowd gets its way, private property will be essentially abolished, disincentivizing economic activity and saving us all from income disparities. Rape, on the other hand, will be dealt with like this:

A sex fiend barged into a woman’s tent and sexually assaulted her at around 6 a.m. [Sunday, in Zuccotti Park], said protesters, who chased him from the park.

“Pervert! Pervert! Get the f–k out!” said vigilante Occupiers, who never bothered to call the cops.

“They were shining flashlights in his face and yelling at him to leave,” said a woman who called herself Leslie, but refused to give her real name.

She said that weeks earlier another woman was raped.

“We don’t tell anyone,” she said. “We handle it internally. I said too much already.”

I’m guessing Tea Partiers would handle rape by calling the police, but we won’t know for sure until someone is raped at a Tea Party — which is unlikely, given the very different nature of the people involved.

On tips from Smorfia48 and Bob Roberts.

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  • lao’s automated rant generator

    [rolls eyes...yet again] You ignorant Reichwing fascist parrots!

    Just when will you realize that free love is a benefit of the glorious workers paradise????

  • Lao Zedong

    I’m guessing real Tea Partiers would handle rape with CCW and 38 specials, but that’s just me.

  • lao’bumbles

    Ahhh, Errrr I, would say, ummmm with out a teleprompter, The ahhhh, Ptttthitttt.

    Errrr, Moochelle…

  • lao’s automated rant generator

    Crosshairs!

  • lao’s flat rotting colon

    Since no police charges were filed, no rape occurred.

  • RKae

    In the land where sex is meaningless, rape is not a crime.

  • Bloodless Coup

    This is the same way that allegations of rape and sexual assualt use to be handled on College Campuses.
    You see, College Administrators (liberals) didn’t want Mommy and Daddy to think their Campuses were an unsafe envirnment for their lovely daughters, so they tried to sweep everything under the carpet by handling these incidents internally. Eventually these Colleges got caught and sued, and all kinds of laws were passed to make this unsavory, unethical, practice illegal.

  • Lao in Space

    There is no violence at leaderless OWS rallies, you flakey violent parrots.

  • Lao in Space

    SQUAWK! SCREECH! FIBBY! SQUAWK!

  • Louisiana Steve

    Like wow dude! Far out! Peace and love. Groovy man. Right on…stick it to the man. We don’t need any fascist pigs.

    Oops, sorry…must have been one of those acid flashbacks.

  • IslandLifer

    Their way of handling a rapist is asking him to leave…..BRILLIANT!!! I wonder if other various crimes get the flashlight torture.

  • FrankW

    I must ask (because the whoopie cushion demands it) was it rape or rape-rape?
    She can get some counseling if needed from all of the women raped at the tea party rallies, oh wait, nevermind.

  • Andy

    {ANDY IS GUNTHER}

  • FrankW.

    Tells us, Pansy. When was the last time you beat your boyfriend when you were drunk?

  • Geeknerd

    Andy,

    Ever been to a trailer park? Do you know any Republicans, with or without red necks? Have you ever seen a Republican drunk?

    The wives of hard-drinking redneck Republicans own guns and know how to use them. After all, a man’s got to sleep sometime, and a #10 skillet makes a strong impression on a sleeping drunk’s forehead.

  • Noelegy

    And incidentally, rednecks and trailer park dwellers are generally two completely different genres.

  • ant

    OOOOH. Yelling and flashlights in the face. What a crime deterent.
    PS. Andy, you’re an idiot.

  • TED
  • TED
  • TonyD95B

    “She said that weeks earlier another woman was raped.

    “We don’t tell anyone,” she said. “We handle it internally. I said too much already.”

    “Handle it internally?”

    That’s a really (really!) bad pun, right?

  • TonyD95B

    BTW, DB / VH – we need a Troll Cleanup, Aisle Three…….Troll Cleanup, Aisle three……

    F#ck you, “Andy”.

  • Ozconservative

    His punishment was probably a good solid “down twinkles” and a bath

  • oldguy

    The people who drove the rapist away act like the unarmed apes in the movie 2001, A Space Odyssey.

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