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Jul 15 2014

The Agonizingly Politically Correct Death of Archie Andrews

As previously documented (see here, here, and here), the formerly healthy, all-American Archie Comics franchise has gone to extremes to corrupt children with a depraved liberal sexual/political agenda. Now Archie Andrews has definitively jumped the shark and landed in its jaws:

The famous freckle-faced comic book icon is meeting his demise in Wednesday’s installment of “Life with Archie” when he intervenes in an assassination attempt on Kevin Keller, Archie Comics’ first openly gay character. Andrews’ death, which was first announced in April, will mark the conclusion of the series that focuses on grown-up renditions of Andrews and his Riverdale pals.

Regarding Kevin Keller, who is probably the real hero of Archie Comics these days,

Keller is a married military veteran and newly elected senator who’s pushing for more gun control in Riverdale after his husband was involved in a shooting.

It’s as if NBC News had branched out into comic books.

Archie “first appeared in comics in 1941 and went on to become a colorful icon of wholesomeness.” He will still limp along in other Archie Comics series, but nobody calls him an icon of wholesomeness anymore.

Parents are advised to keep today’s comic books out of the hands of children.

Promoting interracial sodomy to grade school kids.

On tips from Henry, Stormfax, Wiggins, and Mr. Mentalo.



  • Henry

    “Who shot Archie? Goldwater isn’t spoiling the killer, only teasing it’s a stalker who wanted to take down Keller.”

    We should start a pool on who the “stalker” is. My pick: Moose. Stupid, blonde, white supremacist – probably a closet teabagger too!

  • Mr. Mentalo

    No no, not Moose.

    It’s a new character…Rodrigo, Archie’s secret gay Latino lover. He thinks Archie is having a homosexual affair with Keller, and he also suspects that Archie didn’t vote for Barack Obama. In a fit of political and homosexual rage, Rodrigo tracks down Archie, screams “Lean Forward” and shoots him in the head before turning the gun on himself…but NOT before leaving a note that he hopes will spark a mass gun confiscation.

  • Serenitynow

    All of this bullshit for less than 3% of the population. Hold on everybody, this basket is heading for hell on a rail.

  • Commissar Kirov

    Count on the left to pervert everything. I bet it was Barney Frank because he was jealous of the comic’s gay character.

  • KHarn

    No, it’s Veronica Lodge. They have been shitting on her for the past few years. She’s rich, white, conservative and is proud of her southern heritage; made to order for the liberals to hate.

  • Pork_Soda

    Wow. We go from Jughead liking to eat tons of cheeseburgers to this:

    http://bostonherald.com/sites/default/files/styles/full/public/media/ap/29d37ae6eed94714aa6e124f87333620.jpg?itok=weaowuwZ&c=b0eace5daad62446191e5a9d2e70b319

    Never mind the gayifying of the series. This used to be something for teens and such ya know??? A nice lil’ piece of Americana back in the day. This pic alone curdles my gut.

  • Pork_Soda

    “Regarding Kevin Keller, who is probably the real hero of Archie Comics these days,”

    Keller is a married military veteran and newly elected senator who’s pushing for more gun control in Riverdale after his husband was involved in a shooting.

    Mandatory teh ghey marudj element-check, gun control-check, teh ghey military-check, teh ultra violence by probably a right winger-check, teh racial-check.

    This has got everything leftists love!! Now how do you work abortion in there??

  • Comrade J

    So in other words the complete opposite of reality where Gaystapo brown-shirts try to massacre the peaceful opposition.

  • Comrade J

    P.S.: aka Floyd Corkins

  • octa bright

    I could be wrong about this but I remember reading that the Archie franchise has been declining for decades. This is an attempt to regain lost ground by making it “edgy” and to get it “buzz”. Perhaps it is kinder to kill Archie off in a blaze of glory as a hero rather then keeping him on in the piece of merde that the franchise seems determined to become
    .

  • Exile1981

    it’s veronica’s dad.

  • Exile1981

    http://www.wired.com/2014/07/new-female-thor/

    Thor is now female. The vikings are mad in Valhalla.

  • Who shot Archie? Goldwater isn’t spoiling the killer, only teasing it’s a stalker who wanted to take Keller down.

    will link (my Friday) and follow the story here

  • Professor Hale

    Yep. It’s Mr Lodge. He molested Archie years ago and was afraid it was going to come out… And he hates gays.

  • whotothewhat

    My 10 year old son wouldn’t know what ARCHIE is unless I told him, and guess what I am not going to tell him. All this PC = Pure Crap

  • JamesJ

    The Archie comics are the epitome of progressiveness. 50 years and they’re still in high school.

  • KHarn

    Look at the angle of the gun and the lack of blood: IT’S A SET-UP! Archie wasn’t killed, it’s all a left-wing fraud for political gain!

  • thomaswells

    Liberals are a pervertomorphic form of King Midis. Everything they touch degenerates.

  • Leonard Jones

    There has been a mad rush to remake all of the comic book characters
    into sexual deviants and freaks. Green Lantern is now a rod-smoking
    homo, Superman is now anti-American ex-pat living in France, and the
    rest are transvestites, lesbians and every other form of sexual freak.

    I have news for the idiots who publish the comics: You are driving
    your sales into the ditch! Boys will not collect Green Lantern if his
    character is homosexual! When I was a 9 year old back in 1965,
    I was a big fan of the Green Lantern. I and every other boy I
    knew would burn their collections before they would collect a
    homosexual comic book character.

  • Convoy

    You couldn’t be more incorrect, or ignorant, in this comment.

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