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Aug 13 2014

Moonbats Demand You Pay for Their Tampons

You might have thought that the last word in parasitical feminazi absurdity was Sandra Fluke demanding that others be forced to pay for her birth control in violation of their religious convictions, as if she could not afford to pay for it herself despite attending outlandishly expensive Georgetown University Law School. But liberals can always push the envelope just a little bit further:

Last week, Jessica Valenti (Feministing founder, NARAL director and Planned Parenthood heroine) asked via Twitter, “Anyone know a country where tampons are free or somehow subsidized?” The question sparked an obnoxious social media backlash, which, in turn, sparked an obnoxious retort by Valenti in her column for The Guardian: “The case for free tampons.” The liberal media, from Cosmo to TIME, followed suit with the “compelling argument” and “great idea.”

“The high cost of a product that half the population needs multiple times a day, every month for approximately 30 years,” Valenti began in her August 11 piece, “is simply, well, bullsh**.”

But cost was hardly the crux of Valenti’s argument. “This is less an issue of costliness than it is of principle,” she later admitted, because “menstrual care is health care.” She explained how, like birth control, “the idea of women even getting small tax breaks for menstrual products provokes incredulousness” not only because “people lack an incredible amount of empathy” but also “because it has something to do with vaginas.” (Ooh, the “V-word.” Bet Valenti felt a transgressive thrill just writing it!)

To back up her claims, Valenti cited how The United Nations and Human Rights Watch connected feminine hygiene with “human rights.”

You may soon have a human right to use the government to compel someone else to pay for your hygiene products. Thanks to liberals, the term “human rights” can no longer be spoken with a straight face.

Given progressives’ revolting fascination with their bodily orifices and what comes out of them, next on the list of things to be provided for free by Big Government is likely to be Preparation H. They just need to figure out a cultural Marxist angle for hemorrhoids.

Something else for you to buy for strangers.

On tips from Henry and Dragon’s Lair.

  • FeatherBlade

    There is not enough facepalm in the world…

  • His Lady

    You know, if we didn’t have to pay for her birth control, we wouldn’t have to pay for her hygiene products, either.

    Think about it.

  • You know, guys.. Liberal women are becoming more disgusting as the days go by.

  • Mr. Mentalo

    It’s not a hygiene issue, it’s a fashion statement.

  • Mr. Mentalo

    …and, now that I think of it, what about toilet paper? Is not cleansing ones anus a human right? Don’t we deserve free toilet paper?

    To paraphrase Ms. Valenti “People lack an incredible amount of empathy because it has something to do with rectums”. Obviously the lack of free Charmin is a slap in the face to the gay community. HATERS! HOMOPHOBES!

  • Mr. Mentalo


  • George Lortz

    If they get free tampons, I want free ammo; and my right is protected by the Constitution.

  • Skata

    I think it is an excellent idea. Given our government’s proclivity for mucking things up, perhaps the ensuing chinese firedrill would serve to weed some rabid lunatics and moochers out of the gene pool.

  • Marylou

    Summary: 1) The world owes her a living, and 2) It’s men’s fault that she has a period.

  • Rotohammer

    Federally subsidized vaginas become subject to public access. “You didn’t build that.”

  • SouthernReality

    My wife had a hysterectomy. Will that qualify us for a tax rebate? I also know some poor male souls who use hygiene products as a result of hemorrhoids or other highly personal surgery…. subsidize or not?
    I would write something a bit snarky but i think Rotohammer has pretty much said it all…..

  • Henry

    If you’re not using Cherokee Hair tampons, you’re raping Gaea…

  • His Lady

    I overheard a couple of my neighbors talking about how TP should be free. It’s bizarre that our satires of them are only about five minutes from becoming their newest talking point.

  • His Lady

    I mean she’d get pregnant.

    What were YOU thinking?

  • Mr. Mentalo

    It’s TRUE! You can’t get outrageous or ridiculous enough to match the reality of where these people are at. My only question now is do we stand up to them and treat them like gangrene, or do we allow them to win the day and sink us all into oblivion?

    Sadly, unless a major change happens, I think I know the answer…

  • Americangirl5

    Her mouth is an orifice I would pay to cover to keep it from spewing liberal nonsense.

  • Mr. Mentalo

    Without going into details, I’ll just say that anytime leftists are associated with the word “hygiene”, I get creeped out.

  • Jodie

    So, once they get taxpayers paying for their feminine hygiene products, it is not such a stretch to predict that they will then say that we should embrace their late term abortions, since the longer they are pregnant the less tampons and pads the taxpayers have to pay for. Of course, if you disagree, they will say you hate women.

  • Alborn

    Half the population is not female and between the age of 12 and fifty.

  • Mr. Mentalo

    They better be handicapped accessible, too…

  • Mr. Freemarket

    Consider this, liberal women.

    Would you rather use government supplied tampons….


    Would you rather have a job so that you can buy whatever tampon you prefer?

  • susan

    “They just need to figure out a cultural Marxist angle for hemorrhoids.”

    ….they ARE hemorrhoids.

  • Silence Dogood

    Hey Dooshbag, I have a wife and TWO daughters whom I pay for this for them EVERY MONTH. Do you hear me crying about a tax break? NO! STFU…

  • Robb

    In Mass., there is no sales tax on food, clothing or feminine hygiene products. So, technically, they are subsidized.

  • 762×51

    Or napalm for that matter . . .

  • 762×51

    Ladies, I’ll start paying for your birth control and tampons as soon as you start spreading your legs for me. Line forms to the left, please take a number and wait.

  • The high cost of food that the entire population needs multiple times a day for their entire lives is simply, well, bullshit! Where’s my free food?

    And I need to wipe my ass at least once every day – where’s my free toilet paper? C’mon, lady…you want free tampons? Save your corn cobs….

  • impossible…they’ve always been disgusting.

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