Those who treasure the welfare of the planet are encouraged to go ahead and pack on the pounds this holiday season. The Experts have discovered that losing weight causes global warming:
Despite a worldwide obsession with diets and fitness regimes, many health professionals cannot correctly answer the question of where body fat goes when people lose weight, a new study shows. The most common misconception among doctors, dieticians and personal trainers is that the missing mass has been converted into energy or heat. The correct answer is that most of the mass is breathed out as carbon dioxide and goes into thin air.
According to liberal dogma, carbon dioxide makes it be too warm out.
Unfortunately, even if not eating causes global warming, so does food. The best choice for conscientious moonbats is simply to stop existing.
On a tip from Mr. Mentalo.