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Jun 05 2015

Future Cars Won’t Start if They Smell Alcohol

In the brave new world of total nanny state control, designated drivers will be obsolete, because cars won’t start if they can smell alcohol:

The Driver Alcohol Detection System for Safety is “a research partnership between the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration and an industry consortium to develop technology to prevent alcohol-impaired drivers from operating their vehicles while under the influence,” according to a DADSS press release.

Two prototypes were displayed Thursday during a press event at the Department of Transportation. The breath-based system pulls the driver’s breath into a sensor where a beam of infrared light is directed at molecules in the breath. The sensor can compare carbon dioxide and alcohol molecules, and if the alcohol molecules are above a certain proportion of carbon dioxide, the vehicle won’t start. …

“The alcohol detection system will measure the alcohol in a driver’s blood in less than a second. If it is above .08, the legal limit in all 50 states, the vehicle won’t move,” the technology overview video says. “For drivers under 21, for whom any amount of blood alcohol is illegal, the system can be programmed for a zero-tolerance policy.”

Also obsolete: the notion that as individuals we are responsible for our behavior, and consequently don’t need bureaucrats making our decisions for us via machines.

Next we will have cars that won’t start if they think we are sleepy and might fall asleep behind the wheel. After that will follow cars that can only be driven if we are determined to be in a nice enough mood as to be unlikely to become involved in a road rage incident.

On a tip from Henry.



  • MicahStone

    But a perpetually STONED OBOZO can still drive, right?

  • MicahStone

    But a perpetually STONED OBOZO can still drive, right?

  • Mr. Mentalo

    …and the one nobody talks about: Cars that won’t start if your destination (which, no doubt, must be entered into the computer) is deemed unnecessary or unacceptable.

    Freedom of movement is very inconvenient to your masters. Prepare to have it eliminated.

  • Mr. Mentalo

    …and the one nobody talks about: Cars that won’t start if your destination (which, no doubt, must be entered into the computer) is deemed unnecessary or unacceptable.

    Freedom of movement is very inconvenient to your masters. Prepare to have it eliminated.

  • Jester

    And so…. if I have a family member, friend, or neighbor dying of alcohol poisoning (or any other alcohol-induced injury) that needs to be rushed to the hospital in my car…. they’ll just have to die now?

    Guess that’s all part of how Obamacare will save healthcare costs. Yep.

  • Jester

    And so…. if I have a family member, friend, or neighbor dying of alcohol poisoning (or any other alcohol-induced injury) that needs to be rushed to the hospital in my car…. they’ll just have to die now?

    Guess that’s all part of how Obamacare will save healthcare costs. Yep.

  • chuck_in_st_paul

    so all I have to do to disable your car for days is pour a pint of vokda on the front seat. Cool.

  • chuck_in_st_paul

    so all I have to do to disable your car for days is pour a pint of vokda on the front seat. Cool.

  • chuck_in_st_paul

    the Law of Unintended Consequences RULES the left’s efforts

  • chuck_in_st_paul

    the Law of Unintended Consequences RULES the left’s efforts

  • Xavier

    More like: any scent of alcohol and Google’s JohnnyCab will drive you to the nearest mosque for beheading.

  • Xavier

    More like: any scent of alcohol and Google’s JohnnyCab will drive you to the nearest mosque for beheading.

  • Xavier

    Google’s JohnnyCab is fully programmable.

  • Xavier

    Google’s JohnnyCab is fully programmable.

  • Tchhht!!!

    There goes the concept of the designated driver.

  • Tchhht!!!

    There goes the concept of the designated driver.

  • Super Hamster

    And the 2.0 smart car version if it sees Alcohol 3.0 if it hears Alcohol
    And the new windows 10.1 version will just crash your car into the nearest wall
    for you.

  • Super Hamster

    And the 2.0 smart car version if it sees Alcohol 3.0 if it hears Alcohol
    And the new windows 10.1 version will just crash your car into the nearest wall
    for you.

  • Jim

    I envision a jealous wife getting the “sniffer” reprogrammed to recognize a certain “special fragrance” of the other woman which will also deny the car’s starting. This will of course, lead to more backseat encounters.

  • Jim

    I envision a jealous wife getting the “sniffer” reprogrammed to recognize a certain “special fragrance” of the other woman which will also deny the car’s starting. This will of course, lead to more backseat encounters.

  • Mr. Mentalo

    Yeah…until they want to know “Why are you going to the bank? Our records show you made a deposit just yesterday. Please explain.” or “That address is for a church that insists on using the King James Bible and preaching against homosexual love. Unless you can prove you are going there to protest their homophobia, access to that address is denied.”

    Oh, it’s going to be a GREAT new world (order).

  • Mr. Mentalo

    Yeah…until they want to know “Why are you going to the bank? Our records show you made a deposit just yesterday. Please explain.” or “That address is for a church that insists on using the King James Bible and preaching against homosexual love. Unless you can prove you are going there to protest their homophobia, access to that address is denied.”

    Oh, it’s going to be a GREAT new world (order).

  • So, you can’t be a designated driver for drunk passengers?

    Brilliant.

  • Is there an app for that, Jim (lmao).

    There’s already a song for that [NSFW]:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgWgEoaAYDY

  • Xavier

    How much money has Google invested in robocars? Does anyone here think they’re doing it “for the greater good”?

  • Xavier

    How much money has Google invested in robocars? Does anyone here think they’re doing it “for the greater good”?

  • Xavier

    It makes me laugh to see all this control freakism foiled by a removable tube going from the sensor to the air vent.

  • Xavier

    It makes me laugh to see all this control freakism foiled by a removable tube going from the sensor to the air vent.

  • Son_of_Taz

    Well there is some good news in this. Such a device will keep drunk old libs off the road. https://youtu.be/xQw01dVQUCI

  • Eddie_Valiant

    Well there is some good news in this. Such a device will keep drunk old libs off the road. https://youtu.be/xQw01dVQUCI

  • DJ

    If this ever is implemented, the construction industry would be crippled by half. Most construction workers drive to work over the legal limit due to HEAVY partying from the knight before. I know this from first hand experience. Been there, done that. 🙂

  • DJ

    If this ever is implemented, the construction industry would be crippled by half. Most construction workers drive to work over the legal limit due to HEAVY partying from the knight before. I know this from first hand experience. Been there, done that. 🙂

  • Mr. Mentalo

    Only if “greater good” means “they have total control”.

  • Mr. Mentalo

    Only if “greater good” means “they have total control”.

  • DJ

    Ginsburg.

    Yes, this from America’s most protected minority:

    <a href="http://www.thinkinghousewife.com/wp/2015/05/ginsburgs-glee/"Ginsburg’s Glee

  • DJ

    Ginsburg.

    Yes, this from America’s most protected minority:

    <a href="http://www.thinkinghousewife.com/wp/2015/05/ginsburgs-glee/"Ginsburg’s Glee

  • DJ
  • Mr. Mentalo

    I cannot, for the life of me, understand why white America looks at these people like slightly verbal, ill behaved gorillas. Can you?

  • DJ
  • Mr. Mentalo

    I cannot, for the life of me, understand why white America looks at these people like slightly verbal, ill behaved gorillas. Can you?

  • HA. Seriously.

    The scary thing, Mr. M. was the black female who sang that ‘song’ was a freakin’ teenager under age eighteen!!!!!! :

  • Jodie

    I’m eagerly anticipating the sequel to that video, entitled, “Homies, wash yo dix”. /s

  • Jodie

    I’m eagerly anticipating the sequel to that video, entitled, “Homies, wash yo dix”. /s

  • DJ

    LOL!

  • DJ

    LOL!

  • LMAO!!!!!!!!!

    And, ‘twerkers, wash yo ‘jay-jays’! *swipes tear of laughter*

  • Mr. Mentalo

    Well sure. She’s black, so it’s no problem. Now, if she were Josh Duggar…different story!

  • Mr. Mentalo

    Well sure. She’s black, so it’s no problem. Now, if she were Josh Duggar…different story!

  • Bill T

    No just chauffeured around in a Hermetically Sealed Limo.

  • Bill T

    No just chauffeured around in a Hermetically Sealed Limo.

  • RKae

    Man! Make a list of what your car of the future will not allow you to do!

    You: “Open the garage doors, Hal.”

    Car: “I’m sorry. I can’t leave the garage right now. There are currently too many cars on the road for carbon standards. You may travel in 7 hours and 19 minutes.”

    You: “Open the garage doors, Hal.”

    Car: “I’m sorry. Do you have a celebrity override code?”

  • RKae

    Man! Make a list of what your car of the future will not allow you to do!

    You: “Open the garage doors, Hal.”

    Car: “I’m sorry. I can’t leave the garage right now. There are currently too many cars on the road for carbon standards. You may travel in 7 hours and 19 minutes.”

    You: “Open the garage doors, Hal.”

    Car: “I’m sorry. Do you have a celebrity override code?”

  • rex freeway

    Only Black America sings about the odor of a stank ho left behind on a mans junk. BTW the girl singing it was 16 when the song came out.

  • rex freeway

    Only Black America sings about the odor of a stank ho left behind on a mans junk. BTW the girl singing it was 16 when the song came out.

  • 762×51

    Awww, she got some drool on her doily.

  • 762×51

    Awww, she got some drool on her doily.

  • 762×51

    I don’t want to know how you found that song – OR the video.

  • 762×51

    I don’t want to know how you found that song – OR the video.

  • 762×51

    Hope you enjoyed the ride!

  • 762×51

    Hope you enjoyed the ride!

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