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Jun 29 2017

Moonbats Resist and Feel Safe by Wearing Fake Nipples

Keith Olbermann disrespectfully wrapping himself in the American flag is not quite the strangest form the “Resistance” has taken. Some moonbats are countering last November’s election results by wearing false nipples:

Enter Just Nips, the “official nipples of The Resistance movement,” according to founder Molly Borman, who adopted that line as the company’s unofficial slogan after seeing it circulate online.

Started last January in time for the Women’s March, Just Nips provides synthetic nipples that you can wear over your bra or over your nipples.

Fake nipples are the ideal accessory for woke moonbats who stay abreast of the issues.

Borman sees her product as a direct challenge to President Trump’s administration.

According to Borman, “a lot of women feel unsafe” under Trump, and her product helps provide comfort and “a safe space.”

Borman says she has been selling 10,000 fake nipples per month at $24.99 a pair. As a capitalist, I admire her ability to convert sheer idiocy into cash.

just nips
The free market meets even the most incomprehensible needs.

On a tip from Jester.

  • Jack Bauer

    Just imagine, being a worker, somewhere in China, sitting in the factory that makes this asinine product, and wondering to yourself: “Just how f’d up are Americans, anyway”?

  • Troy McClure

    What’s next? Official Hillary Clinton merkins?

  • Eddie_Valiant
  • OldSailor

    “Borman says she has been selling 10,000 fake nipples per month at $24.99 a pair. As a capitalist, I admire her ability to convert sheer idiocy into cash.”

    As do I. Proof positive that the Free Market can meet any need or want whether it be fake nips or healthcare and much more efficiently than any government program.

  • OldSailor


  • Eddie_Valiant

    $250Gs per month? Are those Made in the USA or China?

    Jeez – what am I doing wrong?

  • SineWaveII

    ??? I mean , I can’t even…. What? ???

  • Well, they’re tits, so it’s appropriate.

    (think British slang)

  • Watchman59

    Wonder how many gamma males are buying them?

  • daPenguin

    back in the 60s, some women wore those but they had little tassels attached to them that swung around when they moved. (or so I am told)

  • Kevin R.


    For the left politics is a very bizarre burlesque show.

  • Saxon Warrior

    Those are not Clinton merkins.
    They’re just weird sticky-outy things attached to the front of some pants, resembling mushroom fungus flaps, looking like infected fungal disease… possibly hairy… rotting…
    decaying, stinking… saprophyte… fungus,,, diseased…. er….

    No wait a minute… I was wrong. They ARE Hillary merkins!

  • Saxon Warrior

    First question – WHY?

    Second question – WTF?

    Maybe I’m a bit stupid, but how are fake nipples in anyway related to last year’s election results? What are they trying to say… and what are they trying to achieve?
    How the fruck do fake nipples provide a safe space?

    Oh yeah, just realized. This is a moonbat thing, it doesn’t have to make any sense whatsoever!

  • Saxon Warrior

    You’re so unfashionable. We’ve already arrived at theta….

  • Saxon Warrior

    These type of pasties are more appropriate and should be worn on the chests of every moonbat…

  • daPenguin

    why are you wasting good pasties?

  • daPenguin

    because the cat is purple…duh!

  • Mr. Freemarket

    I’d bet money that they are not made in the good old USA. I would bet that she has them made in China for about $2.50 per pair.

    “What am I doing wrong?”

    Nothing. You just have to identify a need that isn’t being filled. If only you could sell brains to liberals……

  • Mr. Freemarket

    Apparently the market for pussy hats isn’t strong, particularly during the summer months.

  • Saxon Warrior

    Good question.
    I’m not thinking straight… and any self-respecting moonbat vegan “meat is murder”, loon wouldn’t want to wear them anyway!

  • Steve2

    As if the likes of lena dunham, bozie odonnel and madonna need to be even grosser by having big fake nipples poking out.

  • Jodie

    Well, they’ve tried showing Trump their nipples and their vaginas and he hasn’t budged yet. Maybe next they will try wearing fake bottoms on the outside of their clothes. Thennnnn maybe Trump will come around.

    Ugh! And these are the people who are always claiming that they are doing things “for the children”. Well they’re not! Their children will probably be so messed up sexually, and they may never get these disgusting images out of their heads.

  • BiffWellington

    …and Just Nips come in seventeen shades of stupid.

  • Eddie_Valiant

    I’d make millions, except they don’t have the brains to buy………brains….sheesh.

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