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Jan 09 2018

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Coffee Enema

Gwyneth Paltrow is not merely a ditsy actress who denounces America, thinks water can understand English, and named her daughter Apple. She has branched out into fraud with her website Goop, which sells wacky, overpriced products to her fellow screwballs. Unhealthily, these products include a coffee enema:

Goop suggests that a coffee enema is a “clutch” way to “supercharge” your “annual goop detox” and start the year in tip-top health. In its latest guide for “deep detoxification,” the Goop team recommends a device called an “Implant O’Rama” for squirting coffee up your keister at home. The product, sold by Implant O’Rama LLC for a bargain $135, is merely a glass bottle with silicone tubing attached.

There is no evidence that squirting coffee up your behind is good for your health.

But there are plenty of reports of harms, including two cases where frequent coffee enemas led to electrolyte imbalances that killed two patients. Another case involved severe colon inflammation. Elsewhere, reports have linked coffee enemas to burns, infections, sepsis, and rectal perforation.

But Americans trust Hollywood starlets to shape their political views; why not trust them for medical treatments, where they exhibit comparable expertise?

On a tip from Jester.



  • Grumpy Cat

    Imagine Paltrow walking into a Starbucks and the barista asking “would you like that espresso up your ass or up your ass today?”

  • THE LIEBERAL MEDIA

    .
    Category: what thiongs would ahve been like if Hillary had won the election

    The sellout of Germany continues unabated:

    https://fap.diplo.de/webportal/desktop/index.html#start
    .

  • Scattergood Baines

    I encourage Gwyneth’s coffee enemas to all of my liberal acquaintances….and gerbil enemas.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=27&v=3_Jt_g10Jug

  • gary

    it’s no wonder Chris Martin dumped this lunatic

  • Occam’s Stubble

    Penn and Teller addressed this quackery on their program Bullshit! So in California, it’s illegal to send your gay kid to a conversion therapist because they say it does more harm than good but it’s perfectly legal to pay someone to give you an enema that will do you no good and likely harm you.

  • Otis Donkey

    I like to think people shouldn’t be shielded from their own stupidity.
    Darwin’s law and all that.

  • Jack Bauer

    A few years back, my wife had some magazine that had Gwyneth on the cover and the caption read something like “the most beautiful woman in the world”…..Are you kidding me? lol

    http://www.celebritytonic.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/gwyneth-paltrow-without-makeup.jpg

    Sorry to say Gwyneth, I’ve listened to you being interviewed, and you’re just another garden variety Hollywood liberal moonbat.
    In other words: The enemas are apparently not working because you are clearly still full of sh!t.

  • DM

    Only 2 died so it just isn’t thinning the herd fast enough.

  • Professor Hale

    And scientology is still “legit”. And magnets. And crystals. And herbalism. And Homeopathic “medicine”. And diet pills. And a billion dollars in various supplements every year. And Copper infused socks. And now add smoking cigarettes is deadly but smoking pot is wonderful. There is no shortage of snake oil or snake oil salesmen.

  • MAS

    Once again these loons show their fixation with all things scat related. The fact that it kills is just a side benefit of their death cult leftism…

  • Occam’s Stubble

    And e-cigarettes are treated like regular cigarettes.

  • The Uhlan

    Libtards probably use hot coffee.

  • Eddie_Valiant
  • Eddie_Valiant

    Perhaps Drano enemas would help?

  • Eddie_Valiant

    Funny stuff, but note it’s on Youtube, which is truly become the sewer of all things video.

  • James McEnanly

    This is a woman who steam cleans her more sensitive areas. If she personally test the products that she endorses, she is luck to still be alive.

  • geeknerd

    Cream and sugar?

  • geeknerd

    Lemiwinks!!!

    Rectum? Nearly killed him!

    Q: What did the one gerbil say to the other when the homosexual walked into the pet store?
    A: “Quick! Bark like a dog!”

    Did the gerbil survive? Somebody call the ASPCA!

  • Tchhht!!!

    I wonder how many times Gwen treated herself to the Dr. Weinstein Raw Meat Injection and Creamo Therapy. Cripes, the next thing you know, she’ll be pimping honey and ant enemas.

  • Anonymous

    She’s seen too much of fellow Moonbat Alec Baldwin:
    https://www.gainsight.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/coffee-is-for-closers.jpg

  • Ol’ Uncle Lar
  • sk6actual

    I KNEW she had something up her …. (sorry, never mind)

  • I wonder how she gets the pipe past her own head.

  • Frank

    ” … the Goop team recommends a device called an “Implant O’Rama” for squirting coffee up your keister at home.”

    Is it just a coincidence that “Implant O’Rama” rhymes with barack obama?

  • The Uhlan

    so you’re saying little barry is an enema.

  • Jester
  • Franklyfrank

    Who listens to her??

  • Anonymous
  • Anonymous

    Don’t think Raggot was as fortunate:
    https://media.giphy.com/media/l2Sq7B2F7WpX508jm/giphy.gif

  • ICEvictim

    HEY! Leave off. She’s just helping these folks with their attempts at the Darwin Award.

  • Callawyn

    Follow her advice if you are just DYING to be on an Awards Show.

    The Darwin Awards.

  • BiffWellington

    More like a Mocha Douche…

  • BiffWellington

    Paltrow’s time saving tips: Hook up to an espresso machine, so that you can steam your wazoo while you “implant” your coffee…

  • ManlyMan

    Let’s just saying. She is a homely, gawky overpaid nut case.

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