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Jan 19 2013

Caption Contest


Leave a comment providing the winning caption to the picture above of oligarchical collectivist icon FDR and win a free t-shirt, suitable for any formal occasion, courtesy of the esteemed countermoonbats at Party Crasher.

The winner will be announced Monday. Free shirts need to be claimed within a week (i.e., I need a US mailing address). T-shirts for the contest are available in blue L or XL only, although white shirts and other sizes are available directly from Party Crasher, along with an excellent selection of other t-shirts guaranteed to cause moonbats to sputter with impotent rage. Some are currently on sale for only $6.

On a tip from F.D.R. in Hell.

133 Responses to “Caption Contest”

  1. Backbone 76 says:

    Could you please pass the pork?

  2. forest says:

    You know what you look like to me, with your good bags and your cheap shoes? You look like rubes. Well scrubbed, hustling rubes with a little taste. Good nutrition’s given you some length of bone, but you’re not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you?

    A bitter clinger once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

  3. hiram says:

    Shhhh…. don’t you kids worry about that Negro behind us… I bought him off with the New Deal, so he’s on our side now…

  4. Henry says:

    How would you girls like to pet my one-eyed trouser mouse?

  5. hiram says:

    Isn’t this much better than what you get with your ration cards?

  6. Rob says:

    Hey, are you girls up for a photo op to get a some sympathy on a little unconstitutional New Deal program I got in mind?

  7. “Just three bites of vegetables, and I’ll nominate you to the Supreme Court.”

  8. Viking04 says:

    Just wait until you see what we do to your grandchildren’s America.

  9. big-pete says:

    Are you girls are going to vote for me when you grow up?

  10. d3l says:

    “how bout i take you girls out for a ride in my new wheelchair?”

  11. big-pete says:

    MODIFICATION: Now girls, don’t forget to vote for me when you grow up.

  12. Canis lupus says:

    This foods not for you. You get mush.

  13. Cooter says:

    Obama uses DARPA’s time machine to get some tips from FDR, on how to use children as Political Props.

  14. AZRon says:

    Drink up and relax girls. I’m including you in a long list of perpetual victims.

  15. Rob says:

    We’ll need to serve the other patrons with the food that is on your plates. I think they need it more than you two.

  16. Chris says:

    Eleanor won’t be eating dinner with us kids. She’s eating out at the Y.

  17. IslandLifer says:

    “Ever seen a liar hobble”

  18. Mike43 says:

    Can Miss Lucy and I show you the new swimming pool? No suits necessary.

  19. Alphamail says:

    Ruth Bader, huh, and you want to be a lawyer?

    Tell the grownups when you’re older, kids can have sex when they’re – how old did you say you were – 13 years old?

  20. Len says:

    My plan won’t fall apart until after your dead, girls.Save room for cake.

  21. LyleLovett666 says:

    Yes,you heard me correctly.We will control every aspect of your life.

  22. Skyfall says:

    Don’t worry, your dinners are safe. We only redistribute things owned by the little people…and rich people who won’t play ball!

  23. SNuss says:

    Remember, those mean Republicans will put you to work in the mills 18 hours a day, and feed you gruel. Isn’t Socialism much better?

    (In FDR’s defense, he WAS correct in opposing public sector unions)

  24. Restless says:

    And 70 years from now, a Black man with fewer qualifications than the one behind us will be elected President.

  25. formwiz says:

    You know how Mom and Dad were dumb enough to vote for me?

    Well, you’ll be paying for it all your lives.

    And your kids will, too.

  26. 762x51 says:

    Now remember girls, from each according to their means, to each according to their needs.

  27. john says:

    Its ok. Just laying the groundwork for you grandchildren’s king.

  28. Goodness says:

    “Perpetual debt slavery”, is such a big term for such a little girl. I call it the ‘New Deal’.

  29. Dale Dawson says:

    It’s Bush’s fault — when he gets born.

  30. LyleLovett666 says:

    Ye,we tell you what to do in every aspect of your life.We call it freedom.

  31. Dale Dawson says:

    It’s all Bush’s fault — just as soon as he’s born.

  32. Miz Barkee says:

    Have I got a New Deal for you!

  33. Swordfish says:

    Girl in middle – This is my ‘creepy old dude is way too close’ face

  34. vladtheimp says:

    When my socialist dream for America is complete and America elects its first black socialist President, the government will give your granddaughters all the Fluckin birth control they want!

  35. Deborah Scott says:

    Dirty mouth?

  36. marcus tullius cicero says:


  37. Bad Barry says:

    No gold for you. I’m keeping it all to myself.

  38. Tax Slave says:

    Don’t worry about the debt; you can saddle YOUR OWN descendants.

  39. Haldan says:

    Why no, that’s NOT a pistol in my pocket!

  40. Cameraman says:

    See Girls, the Guy serving us now will be the Grand Father of the First African Born Black President!

  41. Tax Slave says:


    Fava beans with liver? Meat with a protean side? Where’s the starch? And something as pedestrian as a Chianti? Please. With liver you need at least a merlot, if not a shiraz.

    Now I’d have had his liver fried with bacon and onions, served over egg noodles stroganoff style, with a dark green vegetable such as steamed broccoli on the side, with a $2 Chuck Petite Shiraz.

  42. Cat Whisperer says:

    “Blessed are you, little Stanley Ann Durham, for you will grow up and sleep with a black man like the one behind us and bear my successor, Barack Hussein Obama.”

  43. /not my real name says:

    “When you grow up, you will join Code Pink and dress up in a vagina costume”.

  44. Sweep the leg says:

    …And when you grow up, aaaalll the money we took from you will be aaalll gone! See, we’ll need it to fund the likes of the guy behind us…

  45. Heltau says:

    Wait till you see my new tax plan. Your parents will JUST LOVE IT.

  46. Lucy Mercer says:

    “I like to dig ditches in my sandbox, but my sister keeps filling them back in”

  47. F.D.R. in Hell says:

    I’m going to drag my bad self (and limp legs) over to that wheelchair under the lamp. Now, be good girls and promise me you won’t giggle. OK?

  48. Eleanor in Hell says:

    Oh, Franklin. Always going to the sympathy vote. You know damn well Arthur always helped you in and out of your chair.

    That’s Arthur Prettyman standing behind Franklin, his personal valet.

  49. libertea73 says:

    No, no my dears. The Constitution is just a suggestion.

  50. obozo1 says:

    Just imagine girls some day the government will pay you to pop out bastard children just like yourselves!

  51. Jodie says:

    You girls see that darky back there? I spotted that boy in a tree in Jamaica, picking coconuts, and I just had to have him!

  52. Bob Roberts says:

    It’s too bad I couldn’t pack the Supreme Court in time to have you both aborted.

  53. Bob Roberts says:

    Prediction: Hard to beat this one:

    Restless says: January 19, 2013 at 1:40 pm

  54. Bob Roberts says:

    libertea73 says: January 19, 2013 at 5:07 pm
    I think moonbats see it as guidelines that can be followed or ignored as they see fit.

  55. forest says:

    Tax Slave,

    “Now I’d have had his liver fried with bacon and onions, served over egg noodles stroganoff style, with a dark green vegetable such as steamed broccoli on the side, with a $2 Chuck Petite Shiraz.”

    I made stroganoff tonight and I’m having some shiraz. Not making this up I swear. The stroganoff is only beef siroin and the Shiraz is from a box, but still an odd coincidence.

  56. Anon says:

    I’ll get you my pretties, and your little freedoms too!

  57. Jedi Jerry says:

    Little girl, it will take some time, but my line of successors will bring America crashing down on top of your great, grandchildren

  58. Louie says:

    See that niggro over there? Seventy years from now his granddaughter will be telling your grandkids what they can and can’t eat.

  59. Louie says:

    See that niggro over there? If Eleanor had married him instead of me, then he’d be president.

  60. Louie says:

    Don’t say it can’t happen in America, little girl. If we just call ourselves progressive instead of communists, well hells bells, child. We could even get that niggro there elected president!

  61. Louie says:

    Dude! You could use a Tic-Tac!!

  62. Louie says:

    So you see, you should just give me all your money, because I’m so much wiser and I can spend it better than you can.

  63. IslandLifer says:

    “Did you know I am a juggler, and I never let my left hand know what my right hand does?”

  64. Louie says:

    Middle girl thought bubble: “This guy’s a total moron. Even I know that crap won’t work.”

    Left girl thought bubble: “What she said.”

  65. Christy Waters says:

    And what’s on your plate? Oh, it looks like dog food… which is what you’ll be eating when social security goes broke!

  66. Louie says:

    Middle girl thought bubble: “My kids are gonna have to pay for this nonsense.”

    Left girl thought bubble: “Mine too, sister. Mine too.”

  67. Beef says:

    Eat up! You don’t have to feel guilty, you’re a Demo-crat!

    Chris @ 1:16, Bob Roberts @ 5:42 and Louie at 6:18 – LOL

  68. Louie says:

    “. . . . and when all that’s done and we have our niggro president and dumb-ass vice president in place, well, then you could maybe be next in line to be president. Now how does that sound to ya there, Nancy?”

  69. epb says:

    Did you bring your jammies?

  70. epb says:

    After dinner lets go upstairs and watch a scary movie about Republican monsters!

  71. epb says:

    Hey one of you kids, pull my finger.

  72. IslandLifer says:

    “Well this egg used to pitch woo and slam like a dunny door in a quick gale with my bearcat cousin!”

  73. epb says:

    Pay no attention The Help. Chocolate pie for dessert!

  74. nobarack08 says:

    don’t worry kids, your children will be paying for your dinner.

  75. Scotty G. says:

    How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?

  76. david says:

    FDR..uh hay the new deal worked see the black man in a tux. Girl #1 future reporter for fox.. can u explane. girl#2 future MSNBC reporter.. you’re superior intellect knows no bounds Mr president!

  77. Contessa61 says:

    “You kids will be some of the lucky ones. One of the first to get in on my Ponzi scheme.”

  78. Grace says:


    or I want my mother.

    or Creepy dude needs to improve his dental hygiene

    or: TMI

  79. Leonard Jones says:

    It’s for the children!

  80. Backbone 76 says:

    Do you girls like it? We call it “free lunch.”

  81. Bo-Jangles says:

    Hi girls, you can call me comrade uncle…

  82. david says:

    Don’t worry girls the man behind me will make sure you get all the free condoms and birth control you want when you grow up

  83. depwavid says:

    Wanna cookie, little girls?

  84. Alxandro says:

    “The only thing you have to fear, is Barack Obama”

  85. Mazzio says:

    “Now girls, if you eat your vegetables you might live long enough to see my programs bankrupt the country!”

  86. Sufo says:

    “No! That’s not my arm”!!!

  87. Rich says:

    The real life Charades continue on in the Potemkin White House: the children afraid of or blissfully unaware of their dark futures and the dark folk in their place.

  88. rex freeway says:

    That man behind us is a Negro. And believe it or not Negro’s will one day run this country. And im sure they wont screw it up like we have.

  89. Louie says:

    “. . . . and then under the guise of “affirmative action” we’ll get our puppet-president elected, first to the US presidency, then to head the New World Order. But to do this, we first have to find a “Magic Negro”, one who has no common sense, no will of his own, with light skin and who speaks without a Negro dialect. The voters will eat it up. And since he’s a black man, we can jigger the elections where we need to and nobody will dare to question the results.”

  90. Louie says:

    “Eating your veggies is just like politics, girls. You just keep nibbling around the edges, a little here, a little there, and before you know it you’ve consumed the whole damned thing.”

    Girl 1 thought bubble: “So much for all that Constitution stuff they taught us in school.”

    Girl 2 thought bubble: “We are so screwed. . . .”

  91. numnut says:

    “You see kids,the banksters took it all,so I’ve passed a bill that they have to leave enough crumbs off the table so you can eat,this will happen in cycles throughout the
    future of the nation.”

    Someday a great man named George Bush will lift regulations on banking trade,and the banksters will take more than ever before,but my little trust fund will keep your from perishing from lack.

  92. MIriam Caprio says:

    “And what do you want the government to give you, little girls?

  93. Louie says:

    “. . . . So how about if I throw in a free phone? Would you vote for me then, girls?”

    RIGHT girl thought bubble” “No way, jerkwad!”

    LEFT girl thought bubble: “Hell yeah! You had me with that redistributing other people’s wealth thing, but I’ll take all the free stuff I can get.”

  94. Louie says:

    “. . . . So how about if I throw in a free phone? Would you vote for me then, girls?”

    RIGHT girl thought bubble: “No way, jerkwad!”

    LEFT girl thought bubble: “Hell yeah! You had me with that redistributing other people’s wealth thing, but I’ll take all the free stuff I can get.”

  95. Thomas Chapman says:

    If you don’t eat your meat, you can’t have any pudding, how can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat!”

  96. Clink says:

    Some day there will be a “clean, articulate Black man” to carry on my work for your children’s children.

  97. Doug says:

    Eat up now little children, Eleanor like her meat well marbled.

  98. TC says:

    Holy cow, do ya think they’ll go for it??

  99. Peter says:

    Okay, which one of you is Stalin?

  100. USJudo says:

    FDR to young Sandra Fluke:

    Keep reading Marx and Some day your uterus will be the republicans “wounded Knee”…

  101. lshep-tx says:

    Yes. That negro standing behind us IS the boogieman. Don’t worry though, us Democrats will have them eating out of our hands for the next 200 years.

  102. Sam Adams says:

    And then you get to steal from your own children. Isn’t it wonderful?

  103. Token Conservative says:

    How are you girls liking your government cheese ration?

  104. marcus tullius cicero says:


  105. dawn smith says:

    “…and when he came out from behind that thicket, I squeezed the trigger. And THAT young ladies, is HOW dinner found it’s way to our plates!”

  106. Alphamail says:

    “..and your grandkids can pay too……not Bad Deal…it’s called New Deal.”

  107. Deadweezyl says:

    I am going to eat your souls and devour your futures.

  108. direwolf says:

    About the letter you girls sent me wanting to pack the Supreme Court with 6 extra justices. Uh, explain how that would work again?

  109. Musicmaven says:

    “Hey Mister, can you put both hands where we can see them…..please!”

  110. direwolf says:

    What? What brand of chicken is this? Why, that’s Schecter Poultry, that’s what that is.

  111. Kangtong says:

    Someday your grandkids will be props for a lefty too!

  112. Marknlutz says:

    It stands for “Fuck Democracy Republicans”

  113. marcus tullius cicero says:

    your steak is bigger than mine, let’s redistribute!

  114. Sven says:

    The negro behind me will be your new pimp daddy

  115. “Now don’t be upset little girl, I told you your little dog would have a seat at the table too and there he is.Isn’t he delicious?Everyone has to do their part in the New Deal and I predict someday we’ll have a president that eats dog on a regular basis”

  116. Lance says:

    ^Awesome comments!!!!

  117. Gore blimey Guv, the sky is falling says:

    “Mark my words, I’m going to f**k your future right up”

  118. SNuss says:

    “Would you little girls like some more Liberal kool-ade?”

  119. Joek Loth says:

    “You girls don’t need all of that food, why don’t you give half of each of your plates to the poor negro behind me!”
    “Hey girls, do you want to hear about a new deal? It’s one where we take a little bit of money out of your check each week until you retire and then each month we give you back that same weekly amount, so you never, ever get back what you contributed totally!! Sound’s fabulous doesn’t it girls?!!”

  120. epb says:

    Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus — me!

  121. epb says:

    Vote for Pedro

  122. The Machine says:

    “In the first 100 days, he’s going to let the big banks write their own rules — unchain Wall Street. They’re going to put y’all back in chains!”

  123. The Machine says:

    “And then the black kid says, ‘Judgin’ by the smell, we mus’ be PISScopalian!'”

  124. The Machine says:

    “So then the drunk guy goes up and knocks on the door, when it opens he says, ‘Hey — your sign fell down out here!'”

  125. The Machine says:

    “And the Mother Superior says, ‘Five bucks, same as downtown…'”

  126. Cactiki says:

    You have to eat your peas!

  127. the fundamental transformation...into Zimbabwe says:

    Yes comradettes…mommygov will take care of you for life. Is your name Julia?

  128. Chris says:

    Be right back kiddos, my pal Mussolini is on the line. He’s gonna give me tips on this New Deal thing. And how to get the trains to arrive on time.

  129. Sam Adams says:

    And once they start paying into the social security system, the Republicans will never be able to repeal it.

  130. Chris says:

    Little girl to the far left whispers to other girl, “This dinner is lamer than that old geezer’s legs.”

  131. Chris says:

    Yes girls, I’m America’s longest “standing” president.

  132. Keith Cameron says:

    “Just think, I’ll not only be screwing you, I’ll be screwing your Children, Grandchildren and Great Grandchildren”

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