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Feb 09 2013

Caption Contest


Leave a comment providing the winning caption to the picture above and win a free t-shirt, suitable for any formal occasion, courtesy of the esteemed countermoonbats at Party Crasher.

The winner will be announced Monday. Free shirts need to be claimed within a week (i.e., I need a US mailing address). T-shirts for the contest are available in blue L or XL only, although white shirts and other sizes are available directly from Party Crasher, along with an excellent selection of other t-shirts guaranteed to cause moonbats to sputter with impotent rage.

On a tip from Ummah Gummah.

156 Responses to “Caption Contest”

  1. depwavid says:

    Huh, huh, I am Cornholio! Are you threatening me? I need TP [taxpayers] for my rathole…

  2. ksevens says:

    The Incredible Shrinking President

  3. depwavid says:

    I am Cornholio! In my country, we are moonbatty!

  4. depwavid says:

    This Constitution of which you speak: it is TP for my bunghole!

  5. wingmann says:

    obama:”YIKES mooch,it’s out of control,go for the Brazilian Wax today already.”

  6. Buffalobob says:

    Ya Barack I’ve experienced your shrinkage before.

  7. Deadweezyl says:

    Gross! Valarie Jarret’s empty shirt is turtling.

  8. Logic_Mine says:


  9. WTH says:

    Ok kids, Then the evil Moochelle boo boo said I will huff and puff and bite your head off. Then she damn near did somebody help me.

  10. big-pete says:

    …and then they dragged the Ambassador out into the street, and still, the king slept…

  11. SandyS says:

    Michelle, please give back my spine.

  12. Sam Adams says:

    “And then the undead rise up out of their graves…”

    “Dammit Barack; stop trying to scare the girls!”

  13. Sam Adams says:

    Empty suit, nothing. Empty shirt.

  14. IslandLifer says:

    Quasibongo waits impatiently as the Beast prepares to club the head of his dinner. The end.

  15. modd kenwood says:

    Michelle to Barack: ” N word,please”!!

  16. Backbone 76 says:

    In other news today, Michelle Obama beats her high score in “Whack-a-Mole”.

  17. Contessa61 says:

    Obama..”And after they throw your grandma off the cliff, and pollute your air and pollute your water, they will turn into zombies and come after you.”

    Michelle..”Oh Barack, don’t scare them.”

    Obama..”It’s never too early to start indoctrination.”

  18. Cat Whisperer says:

    After only giving a half-effort during his first term in office, the President finally goes full retard.

  19. Jodie says:

    Michelle: You kids better be eatin’ yo vegetables or this be what’s gonna happens to you!

  20. Contessa61 says:

    Obama..”And after they throw your grandma off the cliff, and pollute your air and pollute your water, they will turn into zombies and come after you.”

  21. Xavier says:

    “And the NRA roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws.”

  22. SNuss says:

    The aftermath of Obama’s brain imploding.

  23. SNuss says:

    Damn it, Moochelle! Get shirts with a 16 1/2″ neck, not 12 1/2″.

  24. SNuss says:

    Correcting this condition is not covered, under ObamaCare. You get a pill.

  25. Eleanor in Hell says:

    “Barack, at least that head’s not coming out of your pants”


  26. SNuss says:

    BARACK! That is NOT what it looks like, during a third-trimester abortion.

  27. SNuss says:

    Pay no attention to the moron who doesn’t know how to unbutton his shirt

  28. mexicano says:

    That’s one scary monster. The one on her right is the President.

  29. mexicano says:

    Oops. Meant to write – “the one on her left”

  30. Brian_Boru says:

    “…and then Mr. Marx crept out of his grave and saved the whole world.”

  31. Brian_Boru says:

    “If you kids thought Michelle was ugly, check this out!”

  32. Steve Taylor says:

    … and he pulled and he pushed, but he just couldn’t get his head out of his ass…

  33. Skyfall says:

    I was going to try a caption, but Dapwavid’s first “Cornholio” reference was IT. I vote for that one!

  34. KHarn says:

    Old refrence, but what the hell?

    “So be like Bert the trutle, kids: DUCK and COVER!”

  35. Shooter1001 says:

    Yo dick done fell off.

  36. Shooter1001 says:

    You want me to do whut? Tell dat to yo cracker momma.

  37. Energy Engineer says:

    “This is my impression of an Ohio voter rising from the grave.”

  38. Shooter1001 says:

    Little kid in the audience: ‘Don’t be scaring nobody wit dat crap. You gonna get yo ass shot’.

  39. Steve Willing says:

    “Huh, huh, I am Cornholio! Are you threatening me? I need TP [taxpayers] for my rathole…” WINS IT! Hands-down! Although there are some other great ones. 1st runner up: “… and he pulled and he pushed, but he just couldn’t get his head out of his ass…”

  40. DJ says:

    Nice try Barry but you’re never going to be as scary looking as Moochelle

  41. Len says:

    Today in news, the President shrank in embrassed horror when the first lady pointed out that his camel-toe was showing during an educational rally for Obama-Youth.

  42. Shooter1001 says:

    Kids, this clown is your president.

  43. DJ says:

    Oh look! That shirt over there is taking a sh*t.

  44. Shooter1001 says:

    Kid in the audience: ‘You think you gonna scare anybody wit dat BoogeyWoogy? Bring it down to the projects an lessee who you gone be scarin’

  45. Bill T says:

    You see I told you, when you pull his foreskin back he really is a fricking DICK HEAD!

  46. Shooter1001 says:

    Kid in the audience: ‘Booo yo seff’.

  47. big-pete says:

    And then the evil wizard LaPierre cast a 2nd Amendment spell upon the people causing them to refuse their good & wise king and chant “From my cold dead hands”.

  48. Shooter1001 says:

    Benghazi? Call back later, the President is busy.

  49. Shooter1001 says:

    Hey, Jamal, dis fool be as scary as Mr. Rogers.

  50. Scott Drummond says:

    Michelle! Help! Push me back down! I really did put my head too far up my ass this time!

  51. Shooter1001 says:

    BARACK, it’s still salty.

  52. SNuss says:

    B. Hussein Obama, pre-circumcision.

  53. Shooter1001 says:

    Damn, didn’t Brooks Brothers send instructions with this shirt?

  54. Stephan The Original says:

    The Legend of Deeply Swallow, by Barack ‘Washington’ Obama.

    Removes everything from the head. Not recommended for children.

  55. Ever_Vigilant says:

    I am Cornholio, I need TP for my bunghole.

  56. Jodie says:

    Michelle: Barack, get yo nasty @ss head out of your nasty @ss shirt and quit playin’.

  57. Shooter1001 says:

    Put the gun down LoQueesha, its only a story.

  58. DJ says:

    I need feminism because I’m tired of feeling unmanly for enjoying Moochelle’s strap-on.

  59. Maudie N Mandeville says:

    “…and the president swallowed the little children in his camel toe.”

  60. BillyK says:

    That Head Start don’t work

  61. True Blue says:

    From ‘Airplane!’ 1980
    “34,000…its dropping, its dropping fast…
    Oh my god! The automatic pilot… its deflating!”

    “Don’t panic! On the beltline of the automatic pilot, between the autopen and teleprompt buttons is a hollow tube… that is the manual inflation nozzle…”

  62. DJ says:

    Shooter1001 says:

    February 9, 2013 at 3:26 pm

    I put a spell on you…

    LOL! Yup, that’s the best thus far.

  63. depwavid says:

    Cornholio meets Cowholio…

    My apologies, folks, but run-on gags ARE funny!

  64. junkyard infidel says:

    dammit barry, i told you to lay off the choom !

  65. JimR says:

    See kids? Anyone can grow up to be president. Even this piece of sh*t.

  66. Astronautilus says:

    “…and then the big, bad dictator asked Mooshell for a ‘little head’…”

  67. blue says:

    “No Michelle, NO, NO!!!! That strap on you are holding is just too big!!!”

  68. depwavid says:

    When playing charades, NEVER try to act out ‘Klein bottle,’or ‘tesseract.’

  69. Peter pappas says:

    “i refuse to come out until you get a Brazilian”

  70. marcus tullius cicero says:


  71. epb says:

    MO: Who pooted?
    BO: The one who smelled it, dealt it! Can’t breathe…. can’t… breathe… can’t…

  72. epb says:

    The inflated ego Barack, deflating. We always knew that he was an empty suit.

  73. epb says:

    I’m melting! melting!… and I’m not even a wicked witch, just a deceitful man.

  74. Kyoshi71 says:

    C’mon Barry, you know I shave my legs every week!!

  75. epb says:

    “And din the big ol’ nasty white crackers be all like, ‘Arrrgh nigga, I giet choo and yo chilins too,’ and dats why we hate ‘merica.”

  76. True Blue says:

    …and with the Media inflating its giant ego, the monster starts to rise from its slimy den…

  77. True Blue says:

    …and when it seemed like the media was buying into my narrative about how the Ambassador was killed because of a YouTube video; I poked my head back up and…

  78. True Blue says:

    Is that your face, or did your neck just barf?

  79. Jay B. says:

    “So presidential!”

  80. True Blue says:

    …maybe This will keep the flies away…

  81. Bloodless Coup says:

    Jihad Watch and Bare Naked Islam both report that John Brennan the head of the CIA is a Muslim Convert.

  82. True Blue says:

    …since Michelle’s hair goop makes the inside of her burkha all slimy; when She’s being the man, I just use my shirt as a veil, like This…

  83. True Blue says:

    “Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum! I smell the blood of Americans!”

  84. Right Reason says:

    FLOTUS: “Darn it, you kids, I TOLD you not the mention the word ‘Benghazai’ or you would put the turtle back in his shell.”

  85. AZRon says:

    Even Wisk can’t remove n!gg$r around the collar.

  86. Big John says:

    Bo the dog says “Can someone rescue me from these idiots. The dog pound will be fine.”

  87. Big John says:

    Hey kids, I’m the coolest President of all time. George Washington and Thomas Jefferson wouldn’t act this way.

  88. Big John says:

    I’m posing for the time when I get carved into Mount Rushmore.

  89. apostle53 says:

    I am evolving on same sex/ cross mammal, transgender marriage.

  90. Big John says:

    Michelle says ” Barry, your camel toes are showing.”

  91. Bloodless Coup says:

    Video:STUNNING:Obama’s Pick For CIA Is A Converted MUSLIM!

  92. KHarn says:

    Future History Teacher:

    “Then there was the day when the PRESIDENT-BOT flipped it’s programing…”

  93. depwavid says:

    “Now Barry, I know you’ve just been re-elected and all, but the call to prayer from the minaret does not go ‘Worship the Almighty Bungholiolioooolioooolioooo!”

  94. Sam says:

    Never before and never again did America have a President with his head so far up his ass, it popped out the other side.

  95. rex freeway says:


  96. thescribbler says:

    And then the Evil Queen said, “Hell no you ain’t getting any of MY cake!”

  97. Dien Cai Daiu says:

    And after his re-election the Marxist got braver and crept farther and farther out of his hole in the dungheap….

  98. Stephan the Original says:

    Hey kids, even if your head was here in the birth canal we could still make sure the mother wasn’t punished with you!

  99. Xavier says:

    Eww Barack nobody wants to see an impression of your uncircumcised cock while you’re giving a reacharound.

  100. Joe C says:

    Obama looking hideous and frightening. And what is her husband doing with his shirt next to her?

  101. pay those taxes comrade says:

    The great cornholio as played by Comrade Dear Leader the Immaculate Messiah.

  102. Sam Adams says:

    Sam says:
    February 9, 2013 at 8:36 pm

    Never before and never again did America have a President with his head so far up his ass, it popped out the other side.

    Winner, winner, Chicken Dinner. I bow to your wit!!!

  103. Sam Adams says:

    And if the people’s groundhog sees his shadow, there will be four more years of America being fundamentally transformed.

  104. kubra says:

    Michelle would make anyone’s head not want to pop out.

  105. Alphamail says:

    As the prez shrinks from her advances, Michelle baits him with her Reggie-wand.

  106. Alphamail says:

    The ever-enlarged Gluteous Maximichellus and the incredible-shrinking Barackless Minimus pose for a progressevil first-couple photo-optima.

  107. Alphamail says:

    Grace and Dignity define the new American presidency.

  108. Alphamail says:

    Michelle is pissed and the president recoils with horror, when he hears contest commentors are offending WTSherman1836 with multiple caption entries on the insane and disgusting Moonbattery website.

  109. Piker says:

    Proving once again, that if you don’t have a brain, your head will cave in upon itself…

  110. Ummah Gummah says:


    ..and then when the baby’s head pops out.. we cut it off and chuck it in the trash.. that’s how you keep from being punished with a baby.


  111. Ferst says:

    While Mooch yells “push” BO tries to pull his head from his new shirt, designed by the company ASS.

  112. Ferst says:

    Nice cameltoe

  113. Ummah Gummah says:


    I am Hussein the Hemorrhoid.. and Im coming for your a$$..


  114. Shooter1001 says:

    Boys and girls, I’m proud to present the President of the United States of America.

  115. Shooter1001 says:

    ALL Y’ALL JESS SIT DOWN AND STFU! Man, second grade is the worst.

  116. Shooter1001 says:

    That ain’t no cameltoe, those are his balls. Both of ’em!

  117. Shooter1001 says:

    Who’s that between the Mooch’s legs, Sasquatch or Elvis?

  118. Shooter1001 says:

    She must be color-blind! Yellow, red and purple? And that’s what’s visible!

  119. Shooter1001 says:

    That’s not Elvis nor Sasquatch between the Mook’s knees, it’s Wayne Newton.

  120. Shooter1001 says:

    That ain’t no thermometer and you ain’t ramming it up there no more.

  121. Shooter1001 says:

    The big head actin’ like the little head.

  122. WTSherman1864 says:

    Two dogs and the beady-eyed turtle.

  123. WTSherman1864 says:

    The beady-eyed turtle and two dogs.

  124. WTSherman1864 says:

    A turtle and two dogs with beady eyes.

  125. WTSherman1864 says:

    Me and you and a dog named Bo.

  126. Shooter1001 says:

    BHO: ‘Michelle, what’s this word??’
    MO: ‘the’.

  127. epb says:

    BO, our Turtle-in-Chief

    MO: Where you goin’? Get back out here or you’re soup!

  128. Shooter1001 says:

    Barack, why can’t you be a rugmuncher like this boy?

  129. MNcon says:

    FUNNY , It usually appears from the other end …

  130. Rob says:

    “…and then I was a born again Christian.”, okay kids that’s enough scary stories for now…

  131. The MaryHunter says:

    Dear children, this is what you’ll look like if you EVER vote Republican.

  132. The MaryHunter says:

    If your mommies or daddies EVER vote Republican, Mr. Obama will come after you…just…like…THIS!

  133. Delores Chapman says:


  134. Shooter1001 says:

    OK OK, don’t get so pissy. I’ll run out and get some batteries!

  135. Shooter1001 says:

    A dozen Energizer Bunny batteries won’t make you happy, a gas generator is needed to power that baby for you!

  136. robins111 says:

    Reggie stuck this ‘where’ exactly…

  137. Shooter1001 says:

    Listen up boys, forget the glasses, your hand will stiffen up like this.

  138. chris farrell says:

    So you see, we actually evolved from turtles–it says it right here in this book–and today’s governments should reflect the shell like development for everyone’s safety–for your own protection–enveloping every aspect of your lives.

  139. Steve says:

    Barrack, I told you to wear that neck tie to keep the foreskin from falling over your face.

  140. Ummah Gummah says:


    America, your chickenzzzzzzzzz.. have come home to roosssssst!


  141. TonyD95B says:

    depwavid says (at various times):

    “Eyyyye aaam The Great Cornholio….” etc.

    I’m with Steve Willing and Skyfall – first thing I tought of when I saw it, and depwavid wins it by a mile…..

  142. Nickle&dime says:

    Keep pushing Michelle, the head crowning like this!!
    Oh Michelle, it looks just like you!!!

  143. Restless says:

    “And then the Big Bad Republicans asked for tax cuts, and the ObamaMonster recoiled in horror!”

  144. Logic_Mine says:

    OBAMA: “…an ……and…..I could see my daughters struggling to crawl out of Michelle’s Vagina like…like…like this…an …and…there was a horrible stench an an…and Michelle let out a kackling sound that scared everyone in the operating room…and an..”

  145. Logic_Mine says:

    Last one…

    Obama: ” Then the Constitution Monster arose from the deep and threatened My …er…I mean …the KING’s throne!”

    Michelle: “I hates dat damn Constitution…er…uh..Monster.”

  146. Mike says:

    and a new way to get your head out of your a** is to do this.

  147. jc14 says:

    “What is that idiot husband of mine do . . .
    Good God! What the hell is this growing out of my crotch?!!!!!!!”

  148. yourfavoriteunkle says:

    “Hold on Moochelle, my shoulders are constipated”…

  149. Devil Tongue says:

    Bo,says; “It ain’t me or momma sport’n that Camel Toe”

    GAWD, I just threw up in my mouth typing that but I’ll let it stand, it maybe just sick enough to get me a t-shirt.

  150. SNuss says:

    “I’m Tooter the Turtle”


  151. SNuss says:

    “This is what I did, during the Benghazi attacks”

  152. Jimbo says:

    Liberal Dignity

  153. Andy says:

    Live : Birth of an A$$hole baby

  154. Valerie says:

    You is the sloppiest president Iz eva seen !

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