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Feb 16 2013

Caption Contest

state of the union

Leave a comment providing the winning caption to the picture above of Tuesday’s State of the Union address and win a free t-shirt, suitable for any formal occasion, courtesy of the esteemed countermoonbats at Party Crasher.

The winner will be announced Monday. Free shirts need to be claimed within a week (i.e., I need a US mailing address). T-shirts for the contest are available in blue L or XL only, although white shirts and other sizes are available directly from Party Crasher, along with an excellent selection of other t-shirts guaranteed to cause moonbats to sputter with impotent rage.

147 Responses to “Caption Contest”

  1. Flu-Bird says:

    The only trouble with CAMP DAVID is theres no golf course

  2. scneocon says:

    Boehner: “Great. He can’t just flick the booger like most people. He has to show everyone it’s the most “unprecedented”& “historic” booger ever to be picked.”

  3. Hans says:

    “Look, Ma, no flies today!”


  4. S says:

    I can’t understand y
    Why you don’t think I need another vacation…oh and michelle needs more staff

  5. Running rampant says:

    “Oh great. He just said another thing I agree with.”

  6. Wizard45 says:

    Oh, come on Barry, wrap it up,niether one of believes that BS and I need a cigarette and something suitably alcoholic to wash the bad taste out of my mouth.

  7. Xavier says:

    “and so far I’ve taught him to roll over and beg”

  8. Xavier says:

    Freudian ties!

  9. Frank says:

    “My Hero”

  10. Brian_Boru says:

    “That stupid Constitution means this much to me!”

  11. BobR says:

    …and from now on taxes will only paid by the rich republicans, with a 95% rate and the minimum wage will be $50.00.

  12. Frank says:

    Boehner sez:

    “I’ve got a boner for my darling …”

  13. Ummah Gummah says:


    So this is how that teleprompter thing works.. maybe I should run in 2016..


  14. Unruly Refugee says:

    Boehner: Why does he always have to stand on my testicle?

  15. Jodie says:

    We need to get to these kids before their parents – who often don’t know what’s best – begin to influence their fragile belief systems.

  16. Navigator says:

    In German:

    Obama: “Will ich ein König sein” (I want to be King.)

    Boehner: “Kann ich Ihnen helfen?” (Can I help you?)

  17. Richard,C says:

    Boehner..What a complete incompetent arrogant dickweed!!!

  18. Gunny G says:

    Boner: “That bumper sticker is right. A village in Kenya really IS missing their idiot.”

  19. Bad Barry says:

    Blah blah blah… tax… blah blah blah… invest more… blah blah blah… guns bad… blah blah blah… man love.

  20. lewis swaim says:

    ‘boy if I only had a set i’d kick his ass’

  21. Tim says:

    I, I , I ,I ME, ME, ME, ME


  22. Shooter1001 says:

    Jesse, can’t you get anything through that thick skull?

  23. Shooter1001 says:

    It’s so easy, the sum of the squares of the adjacent sides is equal to the square of the hypopotenuse.

  24. EP wmstt says:

    “And in conclusion… You are all screwed and thanks to my bubbles in the liberal media, you don’t even know it!”

  25. Ghost of FA Hayek says:

    Welcome to McBoehner, can I take your order ?
    Uh,,I’ll have some federal debt, a side order of regulation, and a large tax increase… go.

  26. Shooter1001 says:

    Boehner bubble: His brain is that big!

  27. Shooter1001 says:

    See! When I snap my finger, Jeannie pops up.

  28. coregis says:

    And to think that I didn’t want Hillary as their nominee…..

  29. born is 76 says:

    “… and now we have two crumbs”

  30. Shooter1001 says:

    Its the same crap, over and over.

  31. Cameraman says:

    Damn! I wonder if He”ll Invite Me on another Golf Outing ?

  32. big-pete says:

    I missing the encore presentation of “Beaches” on Lifetime for this?

  33. Crazy Dad says:

    Oh man, why did I have that bean burrito for lunch?

    I can’t wait to get home to trim my toenails.

    Man, this guy is so full of it!

  34. D says:

    Boner thinking to himself: Being Speaker of the House isn’t fun at all with this jivin’ asshole as pres.

  35. Scott says:

    Boy could I use a bottle of “Rubio Spring Water tm” to wash this crap down.

  36. Steven says:

    “Mr. President. We all know you’re just sellin’ the same stuff year after year just to see what makes THE PEOPLE tick!” -John Boehner’s thought bubble

  37. Victor Vicious says:

    ThePrez Sez: I came with stoopid over there!

  38. SheilaK says:

    Well just gag me with a spoon….

  39. Goodness says:

    Boehner sat aghast; as he realized the Cold War had ultimately been won by the Soviets.

  40. Bob Roberts says:

    Obama: What America needs is a king

    Boehner: GOOD GRIEF! What America needs is an impeachment as soon as we win back the Senate!

  41. epb says:

    Obama: Blah, blah, blah, incentives, blah, blah, blah, for the children, blah, blah blah, come together, blah, blah, blah, recovery, blah, blah, blah, me, myself and I, blah, blah, blah, sequester, blah, blah, blah…

    Boehner: Sheesh! Shut the effing up already.

  42. Bob Roberts says:

    Obama: I… me… I… I… my… I… me…

    Boehner: Doesn’t he ever get tired of talking about himself?

  43. Brian_Boru says:

    Boehner: “Wasn’t John Wilkes Boothe just about this far away?”

  44. Ummah Gummah says:


    God, I love his unicorn farts! I exist only for these few precious moments.. aaaahhh… This is what makes being Speaker so addicting…

    …Thank God our consultants steered Mittens off the path. Things looked pretty dangerous there for a minute after that first debate.


  45. Vic Kelley says:

    Boehner thinking: I can’t believe that Secret Service agent took my blue tie and gave it to obama for “national security reasons.” What luck that Uncle Joe had a spare pink tie I could wear.

  46. Ummah Gummah says:

    Navigator says:
    February 16, 2013 at 12:06 pm

    Allow me a slightly altered suggestion: [Credit shall remain with the original poster]

    In German:

    Obama: “Ich will Kaiser sein” (I want to be Emperor.)

    Boehner: “Kann ich Ihnen helfen?” (Can I help you?

    Obama: “ach was, Führer bin ich ja schon längst” (whatever, I’m Fuehrer already)


  47. Mike says:

    I’m going to pee pee on you, then tell you that it is raining. If you disagree, you’re a racist.

  48. Rob says:

    Here, Obama is seen playing the tiniest violin for Speaker Boehner and the GOP.

  49. Dadof3 says:

    “There You Go Again”

    (Forgive us St. Reagan for dropping the ball)

  50. Hekk says:

    Boehner: (..sigh..)” If only he’d follow the Pope’s example…”

  51. Hekk says:

    Boehner, thinking: (He’s so FOS I’m surprized it isn’t pouring out his ears.)

  52. Ummah Gummah says:


    (Boehner again)

    Ahh.. what a heavenly man-butt he has.. even though he keeps giving me the cold shoulder.. who needs Viagra looking at this.. God, Reggie was a lucky man.. careful.. must keep my eyes on his shoulders so noone notices anything..


  53. TheHurtfulTruth says:

    What a complete waste of space. That worthless, gutless, unmanly, sissified, backstabbing coward….and don’t even get me started on Obama!

  54. forest says:

    “Maybe he’ll wrap this up if I offer him a smoke”

  55. Alborn says:

    Liar, Liar pants on fire!

  56. Jodie says:

    Obama: If we could all just give a little more; just work a littler harder…

    Biden (off camera): Yee-ha! That is one clean, articulate, bright, main-stream, negro!

  57. elizabeth says:

    If I switch to the super mega orange package, will I get as tan as Barry?

  58. Douglas says:

    Keep digging, Bucky!

  59. ruddie says:

    I don’t care if he is the commander-in-chief. If he lets another one of those silent killers fly, I’m gonna whup his ass.

  60. DJ says:

    Boner thinking bubble: What a lying asshole.

  61. beth says:

    Boehner: I can’t believe the American people elected this idiot, AGAIN!

  62. Xavier says:

    Boehner: He steals my best ideas and has the gall to use them right in front of me, and there’s nothing I can do. That’s amore.

  63. Leonard Jones says:

    The look says it all:

    “What an asshole!”

  64. chillguy33 says:

    “Emperor?? Emperor of Kenya, fine.”

  65. Allen Troupe says:

    Now if we could only find some way to impeach him & Biden at the same time & make it stick in the Senate, then I could be up there instead.

  66. Steve442 says:

    It’s everything I can do not to cry, listening to this jackass.

  67. Gary C. says:

    Patience, my ass. I’m going to kill someone!

  68. Conan says:

    Boehner thinking: “If this idiot’s IQ was as big as his ears, he’d be a frigging genius.”

  69. Joy says:

    Damn! That laxative promised to work but I never expected to experience a turd as big as that one!

  70. Contessa61 says:

    Obama “…and this will not add one dime to our deficit”

    Boehner “sigh. How many times to I have to listen to this idiot say the same lie over and over?”

  71. IslandLifer says:

    “You see this dried up lush here behind me? He may talk a good talk but you should see him get down on all fours when I tell him to.” “Hell, I even taught him how to roll over.”

  72. MadJack says:

    That cry baby Boehner’s making that face again isn’t he?

  73. Beno says:

    I swear, I am your messiah-in-chief, trust me.

  74. dmgore says:

    Well isnt that special?
    who might be you be getting those naughty little ideas from.
    Could it be……SATAN?

  75. Piker says:

    Bitch, please..

  76. woody says:


  77. Clink says:

    “Would you please wrap it up so we can both go “burn one”?

  78. Serfin'usa says:

    Boehner: Is that a camera? Quick, I better make a face like I’m disgusted at him even though I spinelessly buckle under and give him what he wants. Come on people, I can’t be seen as a racist, so better to just let the country go down in flames than to stand up against him. Right?

  79. NBIE says:

    After listening to this speech I now know why he feels the need to limit clips to 7 rounds.

  80. wingmann says:

    Life as a ventriloquist ain’t what it used to be.

  81. Sam Adams says:

    And to think he passes himself off as black.

  82. Sam Adams says:

    This is why we call him “The Lecturer in Chief.”

  83. Sam Adams says:

    Where’s the “skip forward” button when you really need it.

  84. Sam Adams says:

    That’s right….sell the dream, not the record.

  85. Sam Adams says:

    The nose knows. The same old crap we’ve been sold for the last four years.

  86. Sam Adams says:

    See the blue tie? It proves I am not a communist.

  87. Dooley says:

    Obama: So you see people, the man behind me is the one who signs the front of the cheques so you can sign the back.
    JB: That man takes all the credit and then spends it.

  88. Dennis says:

    Boehner: “I can’t wait to get back home to milk my goat.”

  89. TheChaoticStorm says:

    The empty suit has bored me to tears.

  90. Robert17 says:

    The American people made me Speaker of the House, and all I got was this stupid chair.

  91. WTSherman1864 says:

    Ren and Stimpy

  92. rex freeway says:

    What has America done?

  93. rex freeway says:

    Not going anywhere soon? Snickers.

  94. Lauran says:

    State of what Union, Standdown?

  95. apostle53 says:

    I have heard this before.

  96. Energy Engineer says:

    And Boehner starts crying in 3, 2, 1.

  97. TED says:

    Boehner: There he goes again.

  98. G. Fox says:

    I just snap my fingers and ‘Bonehead’ heels.

  99. Shooter1001 says:

    Size doesn’t matter!

  100. Shooter1001 says:

    Gaydar is off the screen!!!

  101. Shooter1001 says:

    I bring you peace in our time!

  102. Awlhattin O'cattle says:

    If you put the preperation H where you should have used lip balm, your lips will look like Mooshells

  103. Awlhattin O'cattle says:

    Mooshells lips are so pursed she can’t even eat a jelly bean!

  104. Awlhattin O'cattle says:

    Come to think of it, Mooshells sphincter looks better, most of her poo does come out her mouth.

  105. Annwithsanity says:

    “And let me be clear. It is about loving me and my legacy. It is the duty of each American to love me as much as I love myself. The media loves me. And, uh, uh,love is the fair and balanced approach.”

  106. Shooter1001 says:

    … an a free cell phone an no car payments an a EBT card an know mo roaches an rent money an you rich what folks can kiss my black ass!

  107. Dennis says:

    Joe Stalin takes center stage as Droopy sulks in the rear, …..and….this is supposed to inspire me to vote?

  108. marknlutz says:

    Boehner:STFU you purple-lipped turd.

  109. Dr. 9 says:

    “Oh, that’s my pet republican sitting behind me. Watch him roll over when i snap my fingers…”

  110. Shooter1001 says:

    JB: Commie POS, I lent him my lapel pin for TV.

  111. CharlesR says:

    Boehner: There is something different about Obama tonight. Thats it, he’s coloring his hair, no more gray.

  112. CharlesR says:

    Were is the off button for this motormouth?

  113. CharlesR says:

    Where is my barn shovel, it’s getting deep in here?

  114. CharlesR says:

    Calling Roto Rooter, we have a blockage here.

  115. Alphamail says:

    Presto…..I snap my fingers, and guilty white folks – like the crybaby behind me – bend over so I can spread the wealth.

  116. Highway Hospital Student says:

    What was that Three-Dog-Night song again?

    Ain’t that what you said?
    Ain’t that what you said?
    Ain’t that what you said?

    dum de dum de dum
    dum de dum de dum
    dum de dum de dum

    yeah..that was it.

  117. Highway Hospital Student says:


    The MSM will never let him get away with this many lies….not in a million years.

    Well, not unless Rubio does something like take a drink of water.

  118. WTSherman1864 says:

    Dumb and Dumber.

  119. John Knoefler says:

    Boner Bubble: “I’m so gonna say something to this guy…No I’m not!”

  120. StL Card says:

    Boehner: “Really? Bitch, please …”

  121. grayjohn says:

    And you said you’d respect me in the morning…riiight.

  122. Xavier says:

    A bright blue tie and a pink tie with flecks of blue.

    It’s called telegraphing.

  123. Bill T says:

    Hmm Kinda like watching reruns of the Gong Show!

  124. Artskoe says:

    Boehner: “And nuttin’ about the price of rits, Barry!?!”

  125. BobR says:

    … and once we confiscate all the registered guns there will be no more crime. It’s as easy as that!

  126. Andrew says:

    Boehner: When Will The Wind Up Doll Shut Up

  127. VoiceOfReason says:

    “Great I’ll have to listen to that ape another three times…”

  128. blue says:

    “…. Obama gets Steve Guttenberg under the podium & all I got was this gay tie……”

  129. Hillman says:

    Boehner: Enough of the quacking fly face. I can’t take it anymore. STFU with annoying voice of yours you lying fly trap.

  130. TruthSerum says:

    Boehner: Damn! I wish Obama would stop eating broccoli before these speeches.

  131. freedombytheblade says:

    As soon as I am done inflating this debt bubble with hot air, I am gonna pop it with this girly little finger

  132. freedombytheblade says:

    Boehner: if he says “I” one more time im gonna shit. Aww man….. well its atleast more interesting than hearing him talk

  133. L Browder says:

    Obama driving his point home ‘How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck, could chuck wood.’

  134. Big Bad Bruins says:

    The long-legged Mack Daddy says…

    “Look at this jive turkey sitting behind me to my left. He hates minorities. I mean, look at the color of his tie. If wearing a peach colored tie in my presence isn’t racist, I don’t know what is.”

    Boehner says…

    “Neither does your electorate.”

  135. WTSherman1864 says:

    Hey Blount! Don’t be a wussy and make WTSherman1864 sign in every time to comment just because I criticized the way you run your contest, buddy! I miss Van Helsing! Like I said, don’t be a wussy! For my part I agree to never submit a caption ever again. Fair?

  136. Alphamail says:


    Good riddance! You are one whimpering insufferable egocentric namby-pamby.

    Ever since this MB site crashed last week, I’ve had to sign in every time I make a comment…and I’m sure a lot of others have had to also.

    But of course, like always, this is only about WT.

    My child never cried in all her life as much as you’ve sniveled in two posts.

  137. WTSherman1864 says:

    Mr.Blount, if alphasnot above me is correct then I owe you an apology!

    Aphasnot, I will respond to you once to reward your rant:
    For some reason I have never felt it in me to get angry about personal insults by anonymous commenters. If you actually have a child, my sincere condolences to it. Have a nice day! Otherwise, if you truly are as conservative as I am, you will keep your snot in your nose and stop blowing it on others. Good afternoon. Love, Your Superior in Every Possible Way….

  138. WTSherman1864 says:

    My my, that was truly cathartic in every possible way! Thank you alphasnot! One could learn to enjoy this, what not? Most addictive!

  139. Right Reason says:

    “Washington, Lincoln, Reagan … and THIS idiot??”

  140. Jphat says:

    I can’t shed a tear for this claptrap.

  141. Whipplebear says:

    Same Shit Different Day

  142. RacKAttacK says:

    Boehner: “For goodness sake I’m darker than this guy, why no love?”.

  143. RacKAttacK says:

    You make a better door than window you “transparent” asshat.

  144. RacKAttacK says:

    “Shit, how am I really gonna disagree with all this nonsense before going right along with it without coming off as a eunuch…again!!!”

  145. TrickleUpPolitics says:

    IMO: the winner is…..

    Jester says:
    February 16, 2013 at 4:02 pm
    Boehner: Nigga, please.”

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