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Mar 16 2017

Global Warming Claimed to Cause Shrinking Animals

The climate has always fluctuated. As a rule, the warmer periods are by far preferable, resulting in more pleasant conditions and greater farmable areas, in contrast to periods of cold like the one that almost caused the human race to go extinct. But global warming does have downsides, as listed in the Warmlist. One of them is the threat of shrinking animals:

Global warming shrank certain animals in the ancient past, and scientists think it could happen again. …

Three different species shrank noticeably about 54 million years ago when the planet suddenly heated up. One of them — an early, compact horse — got 14 percent smaller, going from about 17 pounds to 14.6 pounds, according to an analysis of fossil teeth in Wednesday’s journal Science Advances.

Also, there was some kind of monkey that happened to shrink about 4%, and another horse-like creature that got smaller.

Sounds like a real crisis is on the way. Good thing farmers are already making their preparations:


On a tip from Lyle.

18 Responses to “Global Warming Claimed to Cause Shrinking Animals”

  1. Bob Katt says:

    An end to our obesity problem?

  2. Torcer says:

    Three different species shrank noticeably about 54 million years ago when the planet suddenly heated up.

    So the planet heated up without nary an SUV or coal burning power plant… It’s almost like the climate changes all by itself..

  3. Nate says:

    They’re still looking for the 54-million-year-old SUV dealerships they’re ABSOLUTELY SURE are out there, for sure, uh huh, pinky-swears.

  4. wildmanonearth says:

    Excellent. Smaller cows fart less and thereby reduce the impact to the environment. Can i also assume that the climat change has caused liberals heads to shrink?

  5. Jack Bauer says:

    No doubt we are the beneficiaries of this staggeringly important new finding due to some grant issued by the EPA to some psuedo-scientist(s), being offered the money in return for a certain pre-determined finding after all their “research” is completed.

    This by the way, is the main focus of the cuts being suggested by the Trump Administration to the EPA. The EPA hands out cash by the barge loads for dubious “research” of this type. Wasting our taxes and writing endless frivolous regulations are their specialty.

    Some of us are old enough to remember when there wasn’t an EPA. Somehow mankind managed to survive. And now every state has their own mini-version of the EPA, and insofar as I’m concerned, you can now abolish the redundant EPA in its entirety. We need to stop paying for stupid crap, with money that we don’t have!

  6. ICEvictim says:

    the only things that haven’t shrunk in this wave of Catastrophic Global Warming is the amount of Horse Manure and Bull Scat coming from academia and media.

  7. Mr. Freemarket says:


    Future farmers of America, Unite!!

  8. Bodhisattva says:

    So wait a minute… they’re admitting that the planet warmed rapidly before? Without humans causing it? Someone call the IPCC and the climate alarmists and rub in their faces that they’ve been proven wrong yet again, rapid climate change CAN happen without humans causing it!!

    And here’s the thing:

    It wasn’t climate change that caused the animals to shrink. The climate change MAY have affected their food supply and THAT is likely what caused them to shrink as NATURAL SELECTION responded NATURALLY to NATURAL climate change and selected for animals that could survive on restricted diets.

  9. Bodhisattva says:

    Ah, the guy who got CNN to turn their cameras 180 degrees since, when he was standing the other way with the cameras looking the way he is now, over his shoulder you could see the Americans taking over Baghdad as he said they had been slaughtered far from it and didn’t have a chance.

  10. Reneeablack says:

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  11. Auburn Rapunzel says:

    What’s this? Leftists don’t want anything to change in response to a change in the environment?

    Who knew they opposed evolution.

  12. lgeubank says:

    Global Warming Causes Shrinking Animals. Good thing we have lefty fanatics to cover that science thing for us.

  13. TED says:

    Absolutely causes shrinking leftist brains….

  14. dinos are cool says:

    “Global warming shrank certain animals in the ancient past, and scientists think it could happen again. …”

    Maybe the Geico gecko should sue since he’s not as big as a T-Rex. Lizard lawyers… here they come.

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