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Nov 22 2016

Gwyneth Paltrow Thinks Water Understands English and Is Hurt by Harsh Words

Bad idea. Quintessential moonbat movie star Gwyneth Paltrow has opened her mouth again:

The ‘consciously uncoupled’ star revealed that she follows the work of Japanese scientist Masaru Emoto, whose experiments attempt to investigate whether human consciousness has a direct effect on the molecular structure of water.

This “scientist” has asserted that shouting at rice makes it go bad.

“I am fascinated by the growing science behind the energy of consciousness and its effects on matter,” Paltrow wrote in a blog post for her much derided clean living website GOOP.

“I have long had Dr Emoto’s coffee table book on how negativity changes the structure of water, how the molecules behave differently depending on the words or music being expressed around it.”

Dr. Emoto. Sounds like a character in one of her lamer movies — from which she is probably unable to distinguish reality.

It turns out though that not only can water understand spoken English, it can read too. Her friend Dr. Habib Sadeshi explains:

“Japanese scientist Masaru Emoto performed some of the most fascinating experiments on the effect that words have on energy in the 1990s.

“In his experiments, Emoto poured pure water into vials labelled with negative phrases like ‘I hate you’ or ‘Fear’. After 24 hours, the water was frozen, and no longer crystallised under the microscope: It yielded grey, misshapen clumps instead of beautiful lace-like crystals.

“In contrast, Emoto placed labels that said things like ‘I love you’ or ‘Peace’ on vials of polluted water, and after 24 hours, they produced gleaming, perfectly hexagonal crystals.”

Whether anyone outside Tinseltown takes this kookery seriously is doubtful, but an alarming number of people take Hollyweirdos seriously, even allowing them to influence their political views.

On tips from Varla and Steve T.

27 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow Thinks Water Understands English and Is Hurt by Harsh Words”

  1. Torcer says:

    “Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.” — Mark Twain

  2. Bob Katt says:

    She also mistakenly thinks we give a rats ass what she thinks.

  3. Silence Dogood says:

    Oh, she has the coffee table book? Oh then she must understand every aspect of his research then since they explain things so consisively…

  4. TED says:

    OMG!! Her liberal is showing and it is UGLY!

  5. TED says:


  6. TED says:

    ABSOLUTLY, the MOST screwed up people, professional liars, actually think we should listen to every little peep they make!!

  7. jack burton says:

    Liberals — the party of science.

  8. TED says:

    With their Liberal Arts and Women Studies degrees…ROTFLMAO!

  9. TED says:

    NOW I know where I’ve seen that Paltrow look before!!

  10. Bodhisattva says:

    You know, it’s rare, but I have to disagree with you on this one.

    Words to have energy, power.

    It’s true.

    I’ve seen it:

  11. Mike_W20 says:

    Well, she IS an elf.

  12. George Lortz says:

    I wonder how the water she uses to steam-clean her vagina feels.

  13. so, if you crap in a clean toilet, it tastes like filet mignon?

  14. Don Pelayo says:

    Is that the twat that steam-cleans and blow-dries her vagina?

  15. Mr. Freemarket says:

    If you look up “vacuous” in the dictionary, Paltrow’s face would be staring at you.

  16. just a thought says:

    The interviewer asks “dr.” Emoto “Is it science?” Listen for his answer.

    Also, here’s rogues gallery of water woo scam artists, among whom he is included (about 1/3 down the page).

    I spent some time digging up info on him because of a friend who thought there was something to his ice crystal junk. Aside from my friend, I’ve alerted a few others online, and at least one thanked me and deleted all references to him.

  17. Jodie says:

    The next time I see a bottle of wine that is depressed and anxious, due to all the problems in the world, I will make sure to drink it down and put it out of its misery.

  18. Tetzman says:

    With or without makeup?

  19. Mr. Freemarket says:

    Doesn’t matter. Those eyes are windows to a whole lot of nothing.

  20. wTallaksen says:

    To the editor, how about you start a portfolio of Moonbats of the month for a calendar, or notify them that if at the end of the year one of you will win Moonbat of the year and an all paid vacation to Detroit!

  21. Easy Way #6 says:

    Dr. Emoji helps me understand why I buy wine based on the look of the labels…and price.

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