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Jan 09 2018

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Coffee Enema

Gwyneth Paltrow is not merely a ditsy actress who denounces America, thinks water can understand English, and named her daughter Apple. She has branched out into fraud with her website Goop, which sells wacky, overpriced products to her fellow screwballs. Unhealthily, these products include a coffee enema:

Goop suggests that a coffee enema is a “clutch” way to “supercharge” your “annual goop detox” and start the year in tip-top health. In its latest guide for “deep detoxification,” the Goop team recommends a device called an “Implant O’Rama” for squirting coffee up your keister at home. The product, sold by Implant O’Rama LLC for a bargain $135, is merely a glass bottle with silicone tubing attached.

There is no evidence that squirting coffee up your behind is good for your health.

But there are plenty of reports of harms, including two cases where frequent coffee enemas led to electrolyte imbalances that killed two patients. Another case involved severe colon inflammation. Elsewhere, reports have linked coffee enemas to burns, infections, sepsis, and rectal perforation.

But Americans trust Hollywood starlets to shape their political views; why not trust them for medical treatments, where they exhibit comparable expertise?

On a tip from Jester.

35 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow’s Coffee Enema”

  1. Grumpy Cat says:

    Imagine Paltrow walking into a Starbucks and the barista asking “would you like that espresso up your ass or up your ass today?”


    Category: what thiongs would ahve been like if Hillary had won the election

    The sellout of Germany continues unabated:

  3. Scattergood Baines says:

    I encourage Gwyneth’s coffee enemas to all of my liberal acquaintances….and gerbil enemas.

  4. gary says:

    it’s no wonder Chris Martin dumped this lunatic

  5. Occam's Stubble says:

    Penn and Teller addressed this quackery on their program Bullshit! So in California, it’s illegal to send your gay kid to a conversion therapist because they say it does more harm than good but it’s perfectly legal to pay someone to give you an enema that will do you no good and likely harm you.

  6. Otis Donkey says:

    I like to think people shouldn’t be shielded from their own stupidity.
    Darwin’s law and all that.

  7. Jack Bauer says:

    A few years back, my wife had some magazine that had Gwyneth on the cover and the caption read something like “the most beautiful woman in the world”…..Are you kidding me? lol

    Sorry to say Gwyneth, I’ve listened to you being interviewed, and you’re just another garden variety Hollywood liberal moonbat.
    In other words: The enemas are apparently not working because you are clearly still full of sh!t.

  8. DM says:

    Only 2 died so it just isn’t thinning the herd fast enough.

  9. Professor Hale says:

    And scientology is still “legit”. And magnets. And crystals. And herbalism. And Homeopathic “medicine”. And diet pills. And a billion dollars in various supplements every year. And Copper infused socks. And now add smoking cigarettes is deadly but smoking pot is wonderful. There is no shortage of snake oil or snake oil salesmen.

  10. MAS says:

    Once again these loons show their fixation with all things scat related. The fact that it kills is just a side benefit of their death cult leftism…

  11. Occam's Stubble says:

    And e-cigarettes are treated like regular cigarettes.

  12. The Uhlan says:

    Libtards probably use hot coffee.

  13. Eddie_Valiant says:

    Perhaps Drano enemas would help?

  14. Eddie_Valiant says:

    Funny stuff, but note it’s on Youtube, which is truly become the sewer of all things video.

  15. James McEnanly says:

    This is a woman who steam cleans her more sensitive areas. If she personally test the products that she endorses, she is luck to still be alive.

  16. geeknerd says:

    Cream and sugar?

  17. geeknerd says:


    Rectum? Nearly killed him!

    Q: What did the one gerbil say to the other when the homosexual walked into the pet store?
    A: “Quick! Bark like a dog!”

    Did the gerbil survive? Somebody call the ASPCA!

  18. Tchhht!!! says:

    I wonder how many times Gwen treated herself to the Dr. Weinstein Raw Meat Injection and Creamo Therapy. Cripes, the next thing you know, she’ll be pimping honey and ant enemas.

  19. Anonymous says:

    She’s seen too much of fellow Moonbat Alec Baldwin:

  20. sk6actual says:

    I KNEW she had something up her …. (sorry, never mind)

  21. Nate says:

    I wonder how she gets the pipe past her own head.

  22. Frank says:

    ” … the Goop team recommends a device called an “Implant O’Rama” for squirting coffee up your keister at home.”

    Is it just a coincidence that “Implant O’Rama” rhymes with barack obama?

  23. The Uhlan says:

    so you’re saying little barry is an enema.

  24. Franklyfrank says:

    Who listens to her??

  25. Anonymous says:

    Don’t think Raggot was as fortunate:

  26. ICEvictim says:

    HEY! Leave off. She’s just helping these folks with their attempts at the Darwin Award.

  27. Callawyn says:

    Follow her advice if you are just DYING to be on an Awards Show.

    The Darwin Awards.

  28. BiffWellington says:

    More like a Mocha Douche…

  29. BiffWellington says:

    Paltrow’s time saving tips: Hook up to an espresso machine, so that you can steam your wazoo while you “implant” your coffee…

  30. ManlyMan says:

    Let’s just saying. She is a homely, gawky overpaid nut case.

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