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Dec 22 2014

Losing Weight Causes Global Warming

Those who treasure the welfare of the planet are encouraged to go ahead and pack on the pounds this holiday season. The Experts have discovered that losing weight causes global warming:

Despite a worldwide obsession with diets and fitness regimes, many health professionals cannot correctly answer the question of where body fat goes when people lose weight, a new study shows. The most common misconception among doctors, dieticians and personal trainers is that the missing mass has been converted into energy or heat. The correct answer is that most of the mass is breathed out as carbon dioxide and goes into thin air.

According to liberal dogma, carbon dioxide makes it be too warm out.

Unfortunately, even if not eating causes global warming, so does food. The best choice for conscientious moonbats is simply to stop existing.

al-sharpton-weight-loss
Al Sharpton’s freakish transformation could cost us a white Christmas.

On a tip from Mr. Mentalo.



45 Responses to “Losing Weight Causes Global Warming”

  1. Rotohammer says:

    I usually sequester about 5 pounds of CO2 around my waist during the holidays.

  2. Rotohammer says:

    I usually sequester about 5 pounds of CO2 around my waist during the holidays.

  3. Chish says:

    Sharpton’s been smoking too much of what he’s bringing to the WH and by the
    looks of him, it’s crack.

  4. Chish says:

    Sharpton’s been smoking too much of what he’s bringing to the WH and by the
    looks of him, it’s crack.

  5. formwiz says:

    He’s not only lost waaaaayyyy too much weight for it to be intentional, he’s also lost pigmentation.

    I note the same type of pigment loss in Barry and can’t help wondering if whatever malady it is brought them together.

    Birds, feather, do the math.

  6. formwiz says:

    He’s not only lost waaaaayyyy too much weight for it to be intentional, he’s also lost pigmentation.

    I note the same type of pigment loss in Barry and can’t help wondering if whatever malady it is brought them together.

    Birds, feather, do the math.

  7. 762x51 says:

    Either way, gas or mass, Little Al can blow it out his ass.

  8. 762x51 says:

    Either way, gas or mass, Little Al can blow it out his ass.

  9. Nate says:

    Crap. For a minute there, I thought that orange shirt read ‘Atlanta Department of Corrections’.

  10. Nate says:

    Crap. For a minute there, I thought that orange shirt read ‘Atlanta Department of Corrections’.

  11. Wibbins says:

    I lost 70 lbs of fat 2 years ago woot

  12. Wibbins says:

    I lost 70 lbs of fat 2 years ago woot

  13. TaterSalad says:

    Looks like the Sickle Cell Anemia has caught up with Fat Al…not long to go! Can’t wait because I will find his grave and take the longest healthy piss of my life on his head stone……….providing he has one!

  14. Ol' Uncle Lar says:

    “Al Sharpton’s freakish transformation could cost us a white Christmas.”
    Doncha know them snowflakes be rayciss.

  15. Ol' Uncle Lar says:

    “Al Sharpton’s freakish transformation could cost us a white Christmas.”
    Doncha know them snowflakes be rayciss.

  16. dan says:

    I’ll reapportion that much in egg-nog alone….bring on the fruitcake !

  17. dan says:

    I’ll reapportion that much in egg-nog alone….bring on the fruitcake !

  18. dan says:

    well that settles it…I’m only gonna exhale until I loose a hundred pounds

  19. dan says:

    well that settles it…I’m only gonna exhale until I loose a hundred pounds

  20. MAS says:

    Dang it, now I have to lose weight while lighting my BBQ with diesel from the 1 ton pickup (with rifle racks). Y’all know how hard it is to lose weight like that? That’s me, the anti green guy.

  21. MAS says:

    Dang it, now I have to lose weight while lighting my BBQ with diesel from the 1 ton pickup (with rifle racks). Y’all know how hard it is to lose weight like that? That’s me, the anti green guy.

  22. robohobo60 says:

    Looks like he has the “slims” (AIDS).

  23. RDaneel says:

    Looks like he has the “slims” (AIDS).

  24. Henry says:

    Indeed.

  25. Henry says:

    Indeed.

  26. Henry says:

    By this logic, all those “obese” people Mooche is bashing on are actually carbon sinks… the whole thing is an open farce now.

  27. Henry says:

    By this logic, all those “obese” people Mooche is bashing on are actually carbon sinks… the whole thing is an open farce now.

  28. Softly Bob says:

    You heard your god speak, Moonbats. So stop breathing ….. Now!

  29. Saxon Warrior says:

    You heard your god speak, Moonbats. So stop breathing ….. Now!

  30. grayjohn says:

    I wish he would transform into compost.

  31. grayjohn says:

    I wish he would transform into compost.

  32. Hexhamgeezer says:

    But on the plus side, less fatsos mean less water displacement when they hit the beach which keeps sea levels at a manageable level.

  33. Hexhamgeezer says:

    But on the plus side, less fatsos mean less water displacement when they hit the beach which keeps sea levels at a manageable level.

  34. IMPACT1 says:

    Still a bobble head…
    Still a ick.
    Still a ewwww.
    Yuck!
    Creepy…

  35. IMPACT1 says:

    Still a bobble head…
    Still a ick.
    Still a ewwww.
    Yuck!
    Creepy…

  36. Son_of_Taz says:

    He already is compost.

  37. Eddie_Valiant says:

    He already is compost.

  38. Son_of_Taz says:

    Be sure to bring your dog and let him do #1 and #2.

  39. Eddie_Valiant says:

    Be sure to bring your dog and let him do #1 and #2.

  40. Birdbranze says:

    How is this any worse than when they said cow farts caused global warming?

  41. Birdbranze says:

    How is this any worse than when they said cow farts caused global warming?

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