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Mar 30 2012

Moonbat Tech: Breath Recharger

Our moonbat rulers disapprove of nuclear technology and energy produced by fossil fuels, but maybe they’ll let us produce electricity with our breath:

Imagine never again having to plug your phone into a wall outlet to charge it.

That’s the world that João Paulo Lammoglia, a Rio de Janeiro-based industrial designer, imagines.

Lammoglia designed a mask, appropriately called AIRE, that uses small wind turbines to convert an individual’s breath into electrical energy, making it so that any act of breathing — even while sleeping or running — would theoretically charge your gadget.

Sorry João; breath contains CO2, a valuable plant nutrient regarded by liberals as harmful to polar bears. Back to the drawing board.

Moonbats can generate power while waiting for their welfare checks.

On a tip from Henry.

16 Responses to “Moonbat Tech: Breath Recharger”

  1. AC says:

    Luke, I’m charging your gadget.

  2. IslandLifer says:

    Excellent! Without sufficient flow the moonbat mask will put the progressive liberal into self induced hypercapnia. Once in their deep sleep of CO2 narcosis we can just sit back as they drift off into cardiac arrest.

  3. Henry says:

    Occuprogs won’t need bandanas and keffiyehs anymore; now they can save Gaea while looting and rioting.

  4. Sam Adams says:

    Actually these masks will provide an excellent interface to the human CO2 recovery/recycling system that will soon be mandated by the EPA. Unfortunately the equipment along with the instrumentation will be a bit heavy and will need more energy than provided by human breath. People will be required to crank the device from time to time to provide sufficient energy for CO2 capture, as well as instrumentation to verify that the resulting Human Breath Emissions (HBE) fall within EPA guidelines.

  5. Ghost of FA Hayek says:

    Actually Moonbats, the most functional part of this device just may be the strap.
    Affix one end to a sturdy object, say, a tree.
    The other end gets one wrap around the esophageal aria.
    No more “pollution”

  6. klae says:

    Sounds like a recipe for sleep apnea, which then leads to all manner of health problems.

  7. chuck in st paul says:

    have they got one for the other end? Bean burritos and scotch are a perfect setup. I could run an air conditioner off of that combo.

  8. FrankW says:

    Another example of the liberal fascination with human waste products. All phases of matter have been covered except plasma, solid, liquid, and now gas.

  9. Bubba says:

    My wife hyperventilates when she gets nervous, so I got her one of these so I could jump start my pick-up.

  10. AC says:

    I think plasma is covered. Occucommies sell theirs to buy weed.

  11. Jimbo says:

    Chuck – you have the right idea. Shove a tube up their butts, feed them beans, and recover the methane. The average liberal on welfare could power the whole freaking trailer park they live in.

    Make ’em earn there keep. They could be a ‘natural resource’ rather than the leaches they are.

  12. Jimbo says:

    Bubba – that there is funny – I don’t care who you are.

  13. chuck in st paul says:

    I think I saw something like this awhile ago. It was some guy… Darth somebody or other…

  14. Sam says:

    You had better include instructions, lest the moonbat forget how to breathe. Should that happen, some ambulance chaser is going to be on you like Spike Lee on a bad address.

  15. James McEnanly says:

    I have seen a device like this used for improving aerobic endurance. By providing resistance to breathing, it would be for the respiratory system what working with weights is for the muscles. However, wearing a device like that long enough to recharge a cell phone s going to cause problems

  16. bobdog says:

    This is silly. Polar bears are no threat in Sao Paolo.

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