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Jan 28 2013

Obama Joins Attack on Football

Anything that defines American culture is subject to repression or at the very least sissification in the name of the fundamental transformation of the USA. This includes even football, which has entered the queue to be incrementally banned. The Nanny Statist in Chief has weighed in:

“I’m a big football fan, but I have to tell you if I had a son, I’d have to think long and hard before I let him play football.”

Last we heard from Obama’s imaginary son, he was bashing a neighborhood watch captain’s head against the sidewalk. No wait, that was his doppelganger, Trayvon Martin.

Speaking of bashed heads, concussions have opened the door to a War on Football. First it will be banned at the high school level, then college. As for the NFL, it will be bled to death through lawsuits. A $9 billion industry can’t help but draw the attention of the pathologically greedy lawyers who rule us.

obama football
Where is a charging 300-lb. linebacker when you need one?

On tips from Chris W, Freedom Now, and Ummah Gummah.

24 Responses to “Obama Joins Attack on Football”

  1. Bo-Jangles says:

    If he had a son, he’d probably be a Chicago gangbanger.

  2. nobarack08 says:

    that’s because Obama isn’t man enough to play a mans game.

  3. justme says:

    Now, now we must listen to what Bawney Fwank has to say about this along with Queen Bloomberg- Fwank is known to love tightends and depriving him of weekly viewing of them might be grounds for a discrimination lawsuit. And surely The Queen would have an opinion.

  4. Mary says:

    No worries, Barry- football wouldn’t have him.

  5. Ummah Gummah says:

    “I’m a big football fan, but I have to tell you if I had a son, I’d have to think long and hard before I let him play football.”

    Hmm.. maybe his son should try MLB. Who knows, a limp-wristed pitcher who can throw a floater maybe about 50 feet might just cause the other team to die from laughter and thus garner wins by default.


  6. Joe says:

    If that girlie-man had a son, he’d probably be just as femmy as his dad, and be into things like ballet and sewing, not football.

  7. Fuzzy in AZ says:

    Anyone notice that’s not even a football field? See the graphic on the field? NATO/OTAN. That’s someplace in Europe he had that shot, probably a NATO base. WTF? Shouldn’t that be a girly soccer ball in his hand (yes, yes, yes, I know, soccer is purportedly a sport…great cardio fitness on those guys, yada, yada, yada. But any “sport” that allows blatant acting and fake “Ohhh, I’m dying here!” scenes, isn’t a sport. It’s a children’s schoolyard game).

  8. Ummah Gummah says:


    Well, not all soccer players do this. It’s usually the ones who live south of the Alps, you know, the countries that refuse to pay their bills, letting their northern non-cheating neighbors pay them instead.

    Anyway, I just read the latest on Turkish justice:

    Turkish Muslim Who Murdered Catholic Bishop While Shouting “Allah Akbar” Gets Reduced Sentence [by claiming the Bishop made advances toward him]

    The alla akbar shouting was accompanied by the usual head-cutting..

    The article suggests something we all can – and should – do:

    While Muslims wail about Islamophobia, this is the true bigotry. This is what justice for Christians looks like in the Muslim world. This is what life for Christians and non-Muslims is like in “modern” Turkey. And as a small gesture, the next time you see a product that has “Made in Turkey” on it, put it back on the shelf. The murder and further degradation of Bishop Luigi Padovese after death was also “Made in Turkey.”

    I recently put some sun-dried raisins back on the shelf after reading “Made in Turkey” on the bag. I always look where things I buy are from and I buy accordingly.

    The only problem, of course, is gas.



  9. mark says:

    After a few down-low sessions with tight-end Reggie Love, I bet Bathhouse Barry’s asshole is wider than the goal posts.

  10. Ummah Gummah says:


    One more thing, Fuzzy. Soccer is played in two 45-munite halftimes WITHOUT a lot of pads an helmets, with only a couple of substitutions and NO timeouts.

    There’s an awful lot of running involved if you want to stay in the lineup and they don’t wear those tight-fitting uniforms either.

    Just sayin’..


  11. Shooter1001 says:

    If Obama had a son he’d be a hairdresser or an interior designer.

  12. Tax Slave says:

    O’Bama’s bastard son would probably spend his entire high school term stuffed into lockers by foorball players; just like his old man.

  13. Winston Smith says:

    By the time the lawyers get done with the NFL, it will be reduced to Flag Football with no contact allowed. Wow, that should be fun. Or maybe they could encase all NFL players heads in bubble wrap.

  14. Sam says:

    I thought if Obama had a son, he’d be Trayvon Martin.

    Kind of hard to play football when you’re dead.

  15. Flu-Bird says:

    Wait for him to replace it with TOUCH or FLAG football

  16. Ummah Gummah says:


    Then you could call it FAG Football.


  17. Stephan The Original says:

    Sorry, as an Australian, any other brand of ‘football’ other than our national game is pretty lame in my view. No pads or helmets, and if you’re short or tall, strong or fast, muscular or nimble, there is a position and a strategy for you on the field – which is substantially larger than yours btw – so long as you have excellent decision making skills.
    I like a lot of things about American culture, but some of your national pastimes don’t rate, and your football is one of them. You could happily lose it in my view. Aussie Rules/AFL is faster and more visually spectacular than any other code of footy in the world and can result in margins of 1 point or 150. My two cents.

  18. Clingtomyguns says:

    New blood in water for media frenzy: Boy scouts about ready to capitulate to homosexual degeneracy under all-out assault on the outside from gay mafia controlled businesses and mainstream media, plus corporate queer-coddling enemies within on its board.

    Dave and others saw this coming:
    Catholic Church (deemded by liberals as a hate group) will soon be all that’s left of organizations not bullied into abdicating their own foundational beliefs. Scouts will need to change their oath about doing their duty to God and remaining morally straight.

    On my honor I will do my best
    To do my duty to God and my country
    and to obey the Scout Law;
    To help other people at all times;
    To keep myself physically strong,
    mentally awake, and morally straight.

  19. a rose by any other says:

    wait… you like football???

    But… but… but… it’s SOCIALIST!. Those revenue-sharers, redistributing wealth from real places with real revenue bases to crappy flyover-state markets… how can you support that!

    Oh right. You aren’t smart enough to see the parallel. Color me shocked.

  20. Aussie-John says:

    Hey Stephan, I play ‘real’ football. You know, where you kick the ball? And everybody on the field gets to kick the ball?

    Yes there are some play actors, but I have had cracked ribs, cracked upper jaw, dislocated fingers, many many bruises… Thats what I get for being a Goal Keeper playing soccer.

  21. Stephan The Original says:

    Aussie-John, my heritage is actually from a country where soccer is the national sport, but much to my parent’s chagrin, as soon as I saw Aussie Rules I gave soccer the flick. Not doubting the skill involved in that – or pretty much any sport for that matter – just as a spectator, watching 90 minutes for often no score at all is a total waste of time when better alternatives exist. No wonder crowds riot when there’s not enough interest on the field to keep them occupied.

  22. Shooter1001 says:

    If Obama had a son it would cost him a fortune in lunch money. Half would go to the jocks and gangsta rappers and the other half would go to his ‘man’. Ungrateful little bastard would probably never bring any dope home for daddy.

  23. fxdwg says:

    Never happen, gay boy. You don’t have any boy sperm in your sack. Your mouth, perhaps…

  24. celtthedog says:

    Re: your caption “Where is a charging 300-lb. linebacker when you need one?”

    Come on, 30lbs would do the trick.

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