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Sep 30 2011

Shackles Placed on Football Prodigy Demias Jimerson

Eleven-year-old Demias Jimerson of Malvern, Arkansas is so good at football that the moonbats in charge have decreed he be stopped in the interests of imposing universal mediocrity. They have shackled him with the depraved Madre Hill Rule:

Like Jimerson, Hill attended Wilson Intermediate School and dominated the football field so thoroughly, the league invoked what came to be known as the Madre Hill Rule. Once Hill scored three touchdowns, if his team had a 14-point lead, officials banned him from scoring any more touchdowns. Now, for the first time since, the Wilson Intermediate Football League is using the Madre Hill rule again — to tackle Demias Jimerson.

Despite finding himself in a world controlled by twisted idiots, Demias appears to have a solid head on his shoulders.

“I’m gonna run hard and bring our team to victory,” said Jimerson. Then he added, “but God always comes first, before anything, and grades second.”

God, grades, then touchdowns — Madre Hill Rule or not.

Clearly more has to be done to correct this kid’s attitude. Don’t worry; educrats are on it.

Punishing excellence as if it were a sin instead of something precious to be nurtured is the purest essence of liberalism. It’s only a matter of time before this mentality begins to infiltrate professional sports, reducing them to a complete waste of time. But that’s okay, we’ll still have PBS to keep us entertained.

Demias Jimerson is compelled to be more equal.

On tips from Varla and J.

25 Responses to “Shackles Placed on Football Prodigy Demias Jimerson”

  1. Mickey Shea says:

    The philosophy of shared misery.


    That kid is absurdly fast, he is a long strider who can change direction on a dime. I guess putting God first is working out great for him. Maybe the slow kids that cant catch him should ask God to be first and pray for speed instead of having the fairness nazis fix the game for them.

  3. David Shumaker says:

    They did this to my Little League team one time back in 1969…. I was 11 years old and our whole team was required to let some little kid who had no business being on the field score a ‘home run’. No one thought about how WE felt about being ordered to commit numerous errors, and no one thought for a second about how that kid KNEW he was being coddled and he knew he wasn’t scoring on his merit. This impulse to mollycoddle kids has a long pedigree. It is despicable (and still hurts, now that I have been reminded of that evening so long ago).

  4. Penny says:

    Ray Bradbury. Harrison Bergeron.

  5. KHarn says:

    Sometimes I don’t comment on some articals because others have handled it better than I could; sometimes I’m afraid of what I might say.

    Just thought I’d mention that.

  6. Alan says:

    Blame the offensive line.

  7. Spurwing Plover says:

    Moonbat universal idioticy what other kind of PC nonsense will the liberal pansies come up with?

  8. Gregulag says:

    Penny, you beat me to it!

  9. rogerthat says:

    You mean that they are keeping score at that age level. That could crush some loser kid’s self-image. That’s just wrong.

    Another solution is to make him play in a skirt & heels.

  10. Joe says:

    When my son was playing t-ball, 20 years ago, they didn’t keep score. His team was undefeated that year. I know because us parents kept track of the score. At the end of the season, instead of crowning a champion, they were all awarded a participation ribbon. Nice. Thanks, liberal trash. He threw his ribbon away.
    A few years later, his little league football team was 2nd place at the end of the year, after a long fought battle against a better team. All the players got a trophy. I think he still has that one.
    Where’s the pride in your accomplishments, libs?

  11. Henry says:

    Who thinks this crap up? {rhetorical…}

  12. HI!Jack! says:

    Easily solved: he runs the ball to the half yard line and downs himself. Let a teammate score.

    Next, the libtards will want to limit the amount of yards he is able to run…which leads to more news stories making them look even more foolish.

  13. TED says:

    SOCIALISM in action! The IGNORANCE is amazing!

  14. TED says:

    KHarn says: September 30, 2011 at 12:02 pm

    SAY it anyway KHarn, the more that do the better. They need to knoe the numbers too!

    The world is a dangerious place
    not because of those who do evil
    but because of those who look on
    and do NOTHING.

    -Albert Einstein

  15. Goldenfoxx says:

    The next thing to come to the football and baseball field is no score keeping. We can’t make the losing team suffer from low self esteem now can we? Next year, this kid will run his butt off and leave the other teams in the dust. The rule doesn’t apply to jr high or high school. This kid has a bright future.

  16. Hail The Amberlamps! says:

    Yet another example of radical egalitarianism.

    I was in little league football about the same age. There was a kid just like little Demerol, faster than lightning, made every touchdown the whole season but one.

    That one was me throwing to a cornerback in the end zone.

    I learned two things: Life isn’t fair and people aren’t equal. Later I realized commies can’t equalize the playing field by quashing little Demerol’s ability without consequences. They will grow up thinking the world actually works that way and vote for empty suits of Marxist nothing blithering prolespeak during elections.

    Chickens with little hammer and sickles coming home to roost.

    Oh and BTW, where are the Cong Black Caucasians and Che Wemuch screaming RACISM!???

  17. Dadof3 says:

    This boy is bein’ done wrong.

    Is there something we can we do about it?

  18. Dadof3 says:

    Maybe this will ensure his future conservatism?

    Nothing like personal lessons to drive the points home.

  19. Alan says:

    I suppose it’s too much work to allow him to play ball with kids a year or two older than he is. In the real world, kids can turn pro at age 18 or even younger.

    My girlfriend’s ten-year-old son’s baseball team won the league championship two years in a row, but Justin didn’t try out the third year. I think he realized he could barely hit and field, and the other kids were doing the scoring, so he’ll try other things.

    Demias sounds like a fine fellow. Stay out of trouble young man, and the future is yours.


    The kid look black wheres JESSIE JACKSON and his RAINBOW/PUSH bunch wheres AL SHARPTON and the NAACP?

  21. Sterling Archer says:

    Good Lord. Harrison Bergeron is becoming reality…

    “All men are not created equal. It is the purpose of the Government to make them so.”

  22. Screwy Puppy says:

    Related to Kurt Vonnegut’s “Harrison Bergeron”, Kurt Vonnegut’s “Slaughterhouse-Five” and Sarah Ockler’s “Twenty Boy Summer” banned in Missouri School.

  23. ledskynyrd318 says:

    With the first pick in the 2023 NFL Draft…..

    That’s fkd up. I guess the liberal league officials either were the slow kids or are Chiefs fans. Imagine if the NFL penalized players for scoring too many touchdowns or tackling too much. That completely ruins the integrity of the game.

  24. KHarn says:

    “Screwy Puppy says:September 30, 2011 at 7:13 pm”

    PEH! Slaughterhouse Five was a confused jumble, contridicted itself and had unlikable/stupid characters. But it was writen in the sixtys, what do you expect?

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