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Apr 18 2018

Starbucks Reparations

When outrage erupted after Starbucks had the police eject a pair of loitering troublemakers even though they are Persons of Privileged Pigmentation, I suggested that the company make amends by giving their coffee to black people for free. The idea is catching on. Watch in horror and disgust as a PPP barges into Starbucks brandishing his race card and demands free coffee as “Starbucks reparations” — and the barista leaps to comply:

In the foreseeable future, there will be no more white people to feed off, so parasites like this will quietly starve. In the meantime, here is how Starbucks has officially reacted to the absurd controversy:

Public outrage over the arrest of two African American men at a downtown Starbucks sparked a corporate crisis that led the company to take the unprecedented step of announcing it would close more than 8,000 stores for an afternoon in May to train baristas on how to recognize their racial biases.

That is, the employees are to undergo brainwashing with hardcore Black Lives Matter indoctrination. That is the official Starbucks reparations for the entirely reasonable expulsion of the arrogant loiterers.

Needless to say, black troublemakers will not be ejected from Starbucks in the future. They will be free to do whatever they like in the restrooms and throughout the shop without making a purchase. According to liberal ideology, they are “oppressed”; therefore, their every demand must be obsequiously acceded to.

If there is any “diversity” in your area, expect the environment at your local Starbucks to change. It will come to resemble a cross between a crack house and a homeless encampment. Paying customers will stay away.

Consequently, Starbucks will go out of business. So at least this nauseating story has a happy ending.

On tips from The Grand Inquisitor, Artfldgr, and Varla.




3 Responses to “Starbucks Reparations”

  1. […] At least some shops will honor the phony free coffee coupons. We already saw someone get a free coffee just by presenting his race card. […]

  2. […] to the absurd brouhaha over the arrogant loiterers who were made to leave a Starbucks even though they are […]

  3. […] a pair of troublemakers to stop loitering has brought down the wrath of the moonbat establishment. New Starbucks policies appear likely to reduce previously fashionable cafes to homeless […]

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