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Jan 21 2013

They Will Have to Ban More Than Guns

Let’s pretend for a moment that the point of infringing on the Second Amendment is not to impose tyranny, but to make the public safer from the maniacs and criminals law-abiding citizens employ firearms to defend themselves and their families against. Our statist overlords will have to ban more than guns. They will also have to go after hammers

A 61-year-old man is facing a federal felony charge in connection with the hammerpoint stickup Wednesday of an Anchorage, Alaska bank, according to an FBI affidavit.

…and knives

Police are investigating after a woman was attacked and stabbed multiple times inside a New Jersey store Thursday afternoon.

The victim, identified by her family as 29-year-old Kerri Dalton of Keansburg, also had a baby with her inside the Middletown Bed Bath & Beyond store, when the attack occurred.

(…better make that a double ban on hammers…)

Dallas police are calling the beating of a grocery store clerk a brutal, senseless robbery.

The clerk was beaten with multiple hammers at a grocery store on Military Parkway in Dallas.

…and razors

A woman is recovering after she was attacked in a very public place and her face was slashed with a razor [in Lexington, Kentucky].

The incident happened Tuesday afternoon in Fayette Mall as shoppers walked by. You’re probably thinking how can this happen in a place as busy as Fayette Mall. Well it did, right out in the open, now police are looking for the two young women who cut up the victim’s face.

…and even fire extinguishers:

Shortly after 8 p.m., police responded to a call about a robbery at El Meson restaurant at 615 S. Frederick Ave. in Gaithersburg [Maryland]. Witnesses said two men opened the front door of the restaurant and discharged a fire extinguisher inside the restaurant, according to a news release from the Montgomery County Police Department.

Because of the fire extinguisher, police are investigating the incident as an armed robbery, said police Captain Paul Starks.

“They threatened the employees with and used the fire extinguisher,” Starks said.

Since our ruling class doesn’t distinguish between criminals and law-abiding citizens, there isn’t much we can be trusted with.

Here’s idea: ban everything, put everyone who doesn’t work for the government/media complex in a straitjacket, and lock us all up in padded cells. Solitary confinement will be required, so we don’t bite each other. Then at last our masters will have made us safe.


On tips from Bo-Jangles, Bob Roberts, and Wiggins.

15 Responses to “They Will Have to Ban More Than Guns”

  1. Bloodless Coup says:

    All you need is a hammer and a pair of gun soled shoes to take a gun off a brown shirt.

  2. Bloodless Coup says:

    Whoops I mean’t gum soled shoes.
    Blast this tiny iPhone keyboard!

  3. justme says:

    Ban Pitchforks and Torches too!!

  4. facebkwallflower says:

    Don’t forget fingernails

  5. Metryq says:

    “What’re we supposed to use, man? Harsh language?”

  6. A. Levy says:

    Well, in a place like NY, one of the main reasons for violent crime is, not guns, but liberal Demoncrat crooks who have saved their money and bought themselves a seat on a NY court bench. And, in this town, once a liberal buys those black robes, there’s no getting rid of them.

  7. Jester says:

    And now here in Missoula, baseball bats.

  8. Clingtomyguns says:

    More facts liberals won’t hear about the unintended consequences of their bad laws – after the Joe Biden-sponsored Gun Free School Zones Act became law under Bush I, mass killings have quadrupled:

  9. Tim says:

    dont forget: hands, feet, mouths, genitalia, sharp pointy rocks, heavy blunt rocks and sticks. All of these should be labeled as “assault weapons” whatever the Hell an assault weapon is.

  10. Christopher says:

    “The clerk was beaten with multiple hammers . . .”

    Why does anyone need more than one hammer? Obviously, we must limit the number of hammers any one person can own . . .

  11. Jodie says:

    Tim says:
    January 21, 2013 at 12:41 pm

    “dont forget: hands, feet, mouths, genitalia, sharp pointy rocks, heavy blunt rocks and sticks. All of these should be labeled as “assault weapons” whatever the Hell an assault weapon is.”

    Here’s one more assault weapon – at least in the trailer parks – is “boobs”:

    “A Washington woman is accused of using her breasts to smother and kill her boyfriend after an altercation at their mobile home.

    Donna Lange, a 51-year-old woman from Everett, Wash., is believed to have suffocated her boyfriend to death with her breasts on Saturday, Jan. 12, according to Seattle’s KIRO 7 Eyewitness News. Deputies, called to the Airport Inn trailer park at 12:45 a.m. for a disturbance report, found medics performing CPR on Lange’s 51-year-old alleged boyfriend, who was later pronounced dead at Swedish Hospital.

    Kiro 7 reports that witnesses claims they saw Lange throw her boyfriend down in the back of the mobile home. She was later found by witnesses with her chest covering the victim’s face. Police noted the size difference between Lange and her boyfriend — she was 5-feet, 6-inches and 192 pounds, he was 5-feet, 7-inches and 175 pounds.”

  12. Bloodless Coup says:

    Sentry Neutralization techniques might be useful in helping to free folk from the inevitable INTERNMENT (aka Fema) CAMPS.

    “Bang, Bang, Maxwell Silver Hammer Came Down Upon Their Heads”

  13. Bob Roberts says:

    Again it’s extremely rare that I ever see a mistake in these threads, but this one left out that we’ll also have to ban Hello Kitty bubble blowers

    I thought that deserved to be included in the list. Apparently so did Mr. Blount as it has a whole thread dedicated to it.

  14. ant says:

    Amazingly, the man who stabbed the mother in New Jersey had been charged a month or two before for setting a cat on fire. Maybe if liberals could recognize career/pathological criminals for the threat to public safety they are, instead of letting them go constantly…guns violence would be lower…just sayin’…

  15. comet says:

    Been a few assaults with subway trains, too. Can’t be too careful; gotta ban ’em—for the children.

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