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Dec 17 2012

Twas the Night Before Marxmas

No aspect of our lives will be left untouched by Obama’s fundamental transformation of America. As we have seen, not even classics like “Twas the Night Before Christmas” are off limits from liberal reformers. Here is a new version of the poem for the Age of Obama, compliments of AC:

Twas the night before Marxmas, and all through the grad,
Not a worker was working; the market’s too bad.
The stockings were empty and that’s how they’d stay,
Because presents were rationed and coal went away.

The children were thinking of the people’s school,
Where they praise Comrade Chairman because that was the rule.
Momma was trying for kid number six,
To bump up her check and pay for her fix.

When out in the Square there arose such a clatter,
Was another spy caught? What could be the matter?
I expected to see another traitor denounced,
But instead, a man, his beard quite pronounced.

The moon shone bright on the snow on each home,
Global warming had chilled us, right down to the bone.
When, what my wandering eyes did see,
Was a detachment of men from the NKVD!

With a full bearded leader, his face not quite dark,
I knew in a moment it was Comrade Marx!
More rapid than eagles his enforcers came,
They knocked on my door and demanded my name.

They yelled “Open up, Comrade!” in their angry tone,
Suspicious that Bibles might be in my home.
They kicked in the door and what did they see,
But a computer, its browser on Moonbattery!

I said, “My neighbor, he did that, if you want to know.
“Me, myself, I love Barry O!
“For him? I cast ballots at least counting eight.
“My neighbor? Likes Limbaugh, and thinks he is great.”

His Tok, how it twinkled, his men, how they stared,
Looking at nothing, the whole flat was bare.
He said, “Well done, comrade!” with a pleasing tone,
“We go roust that bagger right out of his home.

“Your word is enough, all charges will hold.
“Traitor be shipped down Siberian road.
“For praying to Jesus and clinging to guns.
“And keeping money he makes from a business that runs.

“For voting for Mitt and LTC West.
“We shall give this traitor his much needed rest!”
With a snap of his fingers he beckoned his guard,
But not before filling my EBT card.

They spoke not a word as they went to work,
As they kicked in the door and arrested the jerk.
Handcuffed and bleeding, and dragged out in fright,
And thrown into a trunk in the middle of the night.

He sprang to his ZIL, and put it in gear,
Taking my neighbor away to just disappear.
But I heard him exclaim, just as off he drove,
“Merry Marxmas to all, and stay poor, dear tov!”


10 Responses to “Twas the Night Before Marxmas”

  1. KHarn says:

    Nope, that’s too good. I can’t follow that act!

  2. Wilberforce says:

    Excellent work, AC. Love it!

  3. A. Levy says:

    That the Marxist-in-Chief is becoming more and more oppressive with each day is a sure sign that the people are becoming weaker and weaker.

  4. Stan Back says:

    Glorious exposition comrade. Your beet ration should be increased for such glorious service to comrade chairman Hussein the immaculate!

  5. TED says:

    Speaking of the DemocRATS.

    A truck shopper wrote:

    I stopped by the Toyota Dealership yesterday
    for a look at the new Tacoma.
    Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive.
    I wanted to sense that new “feel”
    Before they become extinct…

    The salesman (wearing an Obama “change” lapel pin)
    sat in the passenger seat describing the truck
    and all its “wonderful” options.
    The seats were of particular interest.

    He explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt
    in the winter and directed cool air
    to your butt in the summer heat.

    Feeling like messing with his mind,
    I mentioned that this must be a Republican truck.
    Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thought it was a Republican truck.
    I explained that if it were a Democrat truck,
    The seats would blow smoke up your ass year-round.

    I had to walk back to the dealership…
    Damn guy had no sense of humor.

  6. BackwardsBoy says:

    Excellent. Your chocolate ration has been increased.

  7. TED says:

    Excellent AC!

    Glory Glory Revolution

    Ron rewrote the Battle Hymn of the Republic.

    Mine eyes have seen the folly of the voting of the mules.
    They have chosen us an alien who doesn’t like the rules.
    He’s a tax and spend progressive who thinks money comes from fools.
    Tax on, Barack, tax on.
    Glory, glory, revolution.
    Re-enact the Constitution.
    No more wealth redistribution.
    The debt keeps marching on.
    You can see him in the clubhouse near the Secret Service crowd
    With a scorecard in his pocket that he’ll never read aloud
    ‘Cause the only thing he’s ever done of which he can be proud
    Is campaign on TV.
    Glory, glory revolution.
    Re-enact the Constitution.
    No more wealth redistribution.
    The truth is plain to see.

    We have heard his boring gospel about taxing of the rich
    So that they will pay their “fair share” to support his bait and switch
    Which just goes to prove that he’s no more than a son of a bitch
    Who’s in over his head.
    Glory, glory revolution.
    Re-enact the Constitution.
    No more wealth redistribution.
    The blacks have been misled.

    He hath blared out from his pulpit the election he has won
    Which gives him the right to call the play that he would like us run
    Even if it causes downfall that will see us all undone;
    His pretense knows no bounds.
    Glory, glory revolution.
    Re-enact the Constitution.
    No more wealth redistribution.
    Hypocrisy abounds.

    In the dust and grime of Kenya, Bo was sired in flake by fraud
    But his handlers rewrote history which liberals applaud
    Now he swings both ways at bat behind his media façade;
    False turtle on a post.
    Glory, glory revolution.
    Re-enact the Constitution.
    No more wealth redistribution.
    In four years we’ll be toast.

    Posted by denny at December 13, 2012 03:03 PM

  8. thanks 47% says:

    Enjoy the Christmas season and the next two weeks. The fast and furious fundamental transformation into North Korea begins in January. Criticism of comrade hussein the immaculate rockstar messiah will be a thoughtcrime. UN blue helmets will go street to street searching for guns and the FEMA camps will go live. Don’t forget to thank a sobama voter by rubbing his face in shit for selling out for cushy union jobs and welfare checks.

  9. St. Gilbert says:

    Great work, AC!

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