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Sep 23 2013

Venezuelan Socialists Seize Control of Toilet Paper Factories

The toilet paper travails continue in the People’s Collectivist Utopia of Venezuela. First socialism created a shortage of toilet paper. The authorities responded by confiscating toilet paper stockpiles. Apparently the stolen stockpiles have been depleted, because now the goons running what could be a very wealthy country have taken over toilet paper factories:

A chronic shortage of toilet paper has forced the Venezualan government to send troops to a factory to make sure stocks are fairly distributed.

The South American country has been beset by a lack of consumer goods due to inflation and tough trading conditions.

It has led President Nicolas Maduro to order a national price regulator to take over loo roll plants in the capital Caracas to verify production processes and distribution, before placing them under the watch of the National Guard.

The “tough trading conditions” are imposed by the authoritarian government, which has created predictable shortages by reacting to inflation with price controls.

Venezuelans float on a sea of oil. If they rejected envy-driven left-wing economics, they could be wiping their bottoms on fine linen. But as it is, they cannot even provide themselves with toilet paper.

At least Venezuela serves as a cautionary example of what happens when corrupt fools attempt to replace the invisible hand of the free market with the fist of coercion. But then, the past century is choked with these examples. Socialism is like cancer; knowing that it is horrible doesn’t mean we can make it go away.

The inevitable outcome of collectivism.

On tips from Lyle and Cothurn Mumbower.

15 Responses to “Venezuelan Socialists Seize Control of Toilet Paper Factories”

  1. Alxandro says:

    Say that reminds me.
    Every product we purchase has operating instructions and directions for use, but why doesn’t toilet paper?

  2. RockThisTown says:

    Pssst – wanna buy some toilet paper futures?

  3. dan says:

    well they can’t have mine….I’m hoarding !
    Obamma just uses the Constitution.

  4. A. Levy says:

    A very good lesson for the Sheeple of Amerika to be paying attention to. Of course, they won’t. You will not find one of them who thinks it could happen here, and to them. That’s why it may very well happen here, and to them.

  5. Bob's Country Bunker says:

    That’s what government intervention does – it creates shortages of the things people do want and a glut of things people don’t want. The government is a bunch of people who could never secure real day jobs trying to manage the lives of millions of other people better than they can even manage their own. Obviously, this approach is predestined for failure.

    Tex Arcane of VaultCo.

  6. KHarn says:

    I blame the US government; there weren’t any paper shortages before congress started introducing all those multi-thousand page bills!

  7. new speak translator says:

    government to send troops to a factory to make sure stocks are fairly distributed.


    All the connected assholes need theirs first.

  8. Flu-Bird says:

    The evils of socialism the evils of communism on display

  9. Ummah Gummah says:


    I’ll be happy to sell them some of my Obama toilet paper Special Reserve but it will cost them.

    They can have Moose Extra Soft with a slight hint of tannins for a little less.


  10. SNuss says:

    This sounds like an issue worthy of “The Messiah’s” handling, or something caused by “The Messiah’s handling.
    I’m not certain which is most likely.

  11. Bo Darville says:

    Moose Extra Soft Bwahaha! Eye am laugh aloud U.G.

    Keep your wheels spinnin’ and the beavers grinnin.

    Silvertongue Devil

    Bo Darville

  12. Flu-Bird says:

    Hugo Chavev toilet paper sounds nice right now

  13. TRL says:

    This could never happen in America…The government will just keep printing more of it.

  14. Paladin says:

    That sounds rough.

  15. tgr says:

    All I can say is: “No shit?!”

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