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Mar 20 2013

$2.7 Million to Figure Out Why Lesbians Drink Too Much

Apparently it wasn’t outrageous enough that the federal government flushed away $1.5 million of our money trying to figure out why most lesbians are so fat. Now this:

The National Institutes of Health (NIH) has awarded $2.7 million to study why lesbians are at a higher “risk for hazardous drinking.”

The University of Illinois has received grants since 2009 for its project, “Cumulative Stress and Hazardous Drinking in a Community of Adult Lesbians,” which aims to develop “culturally sensitive” strategies to prevent lesbians from being drunks.

If the bureaurats doling out our money want to know why lesbians drink too much and eat too much, I’ll tell them: because people who construct their public identity around being sexual perverts are by definition psychologically unhealthy in the extreme. Such people will tend to seek refuge from their neuroses and self-hatred in overeating and substance abuse. Now where do I collect my $2.7 million?

Given that the government is funding this grotesque parody of research, you might have seen this coming:

Furthermore, the problem may be worse for “lesbians of color,” the researchers say.

Now that the feds set the priorities, doctors have deprioritized curing cancer in favor of “health disparities” — that is, the quixotic quest for evidence that disease is more unhealthy for privileged non-whites, who therefore deserve yet more special attention.

This is why it is absolutely crucial to medical research that the government have nothing whatsoever to do with funding it.

Click here if you really want to see a fat drunken lesbian.

On a tip from Clingtomyguns.

29 Responses to “$2.7 Million to Figure Out Why Lesbians Drink Too Much”

  1. wth says:

    Trying to wash the taste out of their mouths?
    I’ll take that $2.7 million in cash, please.

  2. Just a thought says:

    Am I the only one offended by the fact this study discriminated against all women, and left out all skinny people? why is there not a study on why people are skinny????? and are skinny people more likely to be lesbians or straight??? I want to see that study!!!

  3. Dr. 9 says:


    “Who the hell is New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg to presume that he has a say in what I or any other American chooses to drink? Of course, the answer for any self-respecting citizen is that he has no such say, and the proper response to him and his legion of petty fascist fan boys is the suggestion that they pucker up – and I will politely decline to identify what they should kiss.

    It’s a sad commentary that the once boisterous, independent, take-no-guff New Yorker of the past has been replaced by a gutless, cowardly supplicant eager to obey the commands of whatever pint—sized potentate occupies Gracie Mansion. Back in the day, a real New Yorker would look that tiny, limp-wristed troll in the mayor’s office in his beady little eyes and laugh, “Hey Mikey, I got your Big Gulp right here…”
    Kurt Schlichter

  4. Doug says:

    Speaking of fat ugly drunken lesbians, this looker has enough to go aroundfor liberty lovers and communists alike.

  5. mojo says:

    Turns out pussy is fattening. Who knew?

  6. Ghost of FA Hayek says:

    So I take it there is a problem with lesbian partners returning home from work late, drunk, and beating their spouses because dinner is not on the table ?

    However, isn’t this one of the excuses feminists rely on to decry traditional marriage in the first place?

  7. Joe A. says:

    Why 2.7? Can’t they just round up to 3 Mill? scheesh

  8. Claymores says:

    It may very well be the reason drink so heavily is because they are fat, ugly, lesbians. All that is required is a comprehensive grasp of the obvious.

  9. Jimbo says:

    Judge this regime by its priorities.

  10. KHarn says:

    We warned the REGRESSIVES that if nationalised health care was FORCED INTO LAW that the government would pry even more into our lives. Well, they laughed, but who’s laughing now?

    Oh that’s right, NO ONE IS LAUGHING!

  11. Flu-Bird says:

    Hawg sloppin time billy bob and thems there demacratic hawgs are squeslin for more

  12. Ummah Gummah says:


    Wait a minute.. isn’t that rayciss.. or sexiss, or one of dem labels they like to hang on anyone who is critical of the demonRATS?

    They should have FIRST done a study to determine ***IF*** lesbians drink too much!!

    How DARE they ASSume that lesbians drink too much without first doing a study!!

    Das rayciss!!

    But Booossh!!


  13. JamesJ says:

    Save $2.7 mil……just ask Hillary

  14. Comrade J says:

    Let’s not forget other important “research” – $384,949 Federal Study – ‘Plasticity in Duck Penis Length’. Meanwhile Democratic Senators vote to keep WH closed to visitors and by extension protecting such important studies as duck p.. and why lesbians are fat and drink too much. Priorities!

    Obama’s Sequester:

    -YES to studying duck p… and fat/drunk lesbians

    -NO to keeping the level 1 aggravated felons locked up
    -NO to providing children with vaccines.

    Any questions?

  15. Joe says:

    Lesbians drink too much because they’re trying to drown their sorrows. It sucks being fat and ugly, unable to attract a decent man, and instead being forced to hang out with other fat, ugly bitches. Hell, I’d drink a lot too, if I were in that situation.

  16. dan says:

    ugly fat lesbians make ME drink too much….

  17. Sam Adams says:

    Claymores says:
    March 20, 2013 at 12:25 pm

    Joe says:
    March 20, 2013 at 1:51 pm

    You have well stated the obvious. Lesbians drink too much because they are unhappy. They are living an abnormal lifestyle; they know it is abnormal. They are basically unhappy about the fact that they don’t fit into the world of normal people.

    They are looking for love in all the wrong places (or at least with the wrong people).

    If I were king of the world, I would revoke the license of every psychologist, psychiatrist, and councilor who didn’t pronounce homosexuality as an abnormal condition.

  18. Sam says:

    It’s real easy:

    – 95% of them resemble Rosie O’Donnell
    – Knowing that’s the choice you have in partners, you would drink, too.

    I’ll take that $2.7 million please.

  19. Eric says:

    Hang on a minute. If diseases and “health problems” occur at a disproportionately higher rate in “people of color” doesn’t that proove something right there?

  20. ED357 says:

    Something to ponder……..

    If lesbians like to munch carpet…..

    I can understand that because I like that too……


    If lesbians like to strap on a “snap on” to service their partner…….

    Why the hell don’t they just get a man….

    or get a man/woman with large breasts and a penis?

    Are they lesbians because no man will touch them or what?

  21. TonyD95B says:

    RE: ED357 says on March 20, 2013 at 5:04 pm:

    “…..If lesbians like to strap on a “snap on” *to service their partner…….

    Why the hell don’t they just get a man….

    or get a man/woman with large breasts and a penis?”

    Yeah, that’s another irony of the whole HomoLeftist agenda……everything they are after (including so-called “Gay Marriage”) is basically just a cheapened “copy” of heterosexuality.

    That’s also why they are so adamant about revisionist history and pushing the myth that homosexuality is “normal” – they are not trying to convince us, they are trying to convince themselves.

    Generally speaking, it has been my experience that most HomoLeftists are very unhappy, miserable, self-loathing people.

    *Hey – did you hear Martina Navratilova got a new sponsor????

    Yeah. Snap-On Tools”. Hahahahahaha

  22. TonyD95B says:

    RE: Claymores says on March 20, 2013 at 12:25 pm:

    “It may very well be the reason drink so heavily is because they are fat, ugly, lesbians. All that is required is a comprehensive grasp of the obvious.”

    Claymores (both the the kind with a big wide blade and the kind that say, “Front Towards Enemy” are generally not known for subtlety……but you, my friend get the Moonbattery Award for Succinctness.

    As we used to say while pushing the button, “Claymore, Claymore, Claymore!!!!!!” hahahahahahah

  23. Dr. 9 says:

    They drink so much because they know they’re fat, smelly, and ugly, and that they’ll never be men no matter how much they try.

  24. 4farms says:

    They drink:
    a) to drown the sorrow in their tortured souls, and
    b) because they are generally FAT and UGLY – but no worries, the NIH also recently announced they have over a million in funding to study why lesbians are OBESE!!

  25. grayjohn says:

    For about 10 bucks I can tell them that no one really gives a shit why lesbians are fat, or drunk, anything else for that matter. Even the fat, drunk, lesbians don’t give a shit.

  26. Ummah Gummah says:


    To be fair, there are good-looking lesbians as well. Fat nasty diesel dykes refer to them derisively as “lipstick lesbians”, some of whom enjoy an occasional tryst with with a man, which then leads to even more derision and hateful insulting criticism from their fat “sisters”.

    The concept of Individual Sovereignty doesn’t mean a whole lot to fat wimmyyn and other assorted libs.

    I’ve seen headlines advertising such “discussions” glaring off gay/lesbian magazines prominently displayed on New York newsstands more than once.

    Both gay women and men are for the most part huge collectivists.

    Lived in NYC long enough to know.


  27. Ummah Gummah says:


    Are they doing a study on gay men and crystal meth next?

    I’d like to suggest Henry Waxman to spearhead this particular bit of research.

    Remember, this is vital for the Nation, and way more important than kids being able to take their long-planned tours of the White House.


  28. Goldenfoxx says:

    I’d drink too if my head was screwed on backwards and have to do what lesbians do. I’d drink to forget – oh hell drink until I die so I wouldn’t do what they do. I’d drown in my own vomit. I just can’t understand why gays do what they do. It’s not normal–it just isn’t.

  29. Leo Noel says:

    Gosh, normally the Lib Trolls come out and try to argue with the comment posters yet I don’t see anyone defending the fat, ugly, drunk, lesbians – why? Will not anyone stand up and support them in their “alternative Lifestyle”. They can’t because these “females” are spiritually dead. GOD never makes trash – these “females” were made in GOD’s image but their broken hearts and bodies are the result of their rebellion from GOD and the were victims of evil “stewards” who allowed them as children to rot on the inside. Everyone should have compassion for these “females” that are forever cut off from Life and real Love; the Love of the GOD who is personal and infinite. I weep for them and all their supporters; evil is growing exponentially all around but I will still reach my hand out to help of they want to return to their original purpose and destiny. IC XC NIKA

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