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Search: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Apr 01 2019

A History Lesson From Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

A history lesson from Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who holds power over us as a member of Congress:

“They had to amend the Constitution of the United States to make sure Roosevelt did not get re-elected,” the New York Democrat said during an MSNBC town hall on Friday night, as she touted the positive effects of the New Deal.

True enough, the 22nd Amendment was passed to prevent another President for Life like FDR, who was so gifted at patronage and hardball politics that only death could dislodge him from office. Before that, every president had had the honor to follow George Washington’s noble example and leave voluntarily after two terms.

However, the 22nd Amendment passed in March 1947. President for Life Roosevelt passed away in April 1945.

Still more ignorant is OAC’s belief that the New Deal had significant positive effects. It prolonged the Great Depression, which may have continued to this day were Roosevelt still in power. Then again, from the point of view of leftist Democrats, imposing economic depression would be a good thing, providing an opportunity for the ham-fisted coercive intrusion into the economy that FDR was known for.

On tips from Varla, Dan F, Scott D, Sean C, and 1-Bodhisattva.

Feb 27 2019

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Comic Book

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has found a home that suits her cartoonish ultra-left worldview — a comic book:

The newly elected US congresswoman stars as a sassy superhero in an upcoming comic book titled, “Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and the Freshman Force: New Party Who Dis?”

One cover features her outfitted like Wonder Woman.

Once comic books were for kids. To the extent there was a message, it was wholesome and patriotic. Now comic books are masturbatory material for perpetually adolescent moonbats.

The comic book, by independent publisher Devil’s Due, comes out in May.

Devil’s Due Comics. You can see why they promote the party that offers theft, abortion, depravity, and general moral turpitude as its platform.

AOC is unsurprisingly a fan of comic books.

Last month she quoted the vigilante Rorschach from the comic book series “Watchmen” while responding to a Politico story that claimed Democratic leaders were trying to “rein in” Ocasio-Cortez.

No one reins in a communist superhero. Watch in awe as she smashes the dark forces of liberty on behalf of the oligarchical collectivist mega-state.

On a tip from Jester.

Jan 07 2019

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: Morally Right Trumps Factually Correct

AZ Quotes doesn’t have a page yet for Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. This is too bad, because she has produced some real gems already. Even the Washington Post, which hails her as the future of the party that it exists to promote, has given her the Four Pinocchios award for her saying things that aren’t true. She responds by denouncing factual reality. Squeaks Alexandria,

“I think that there’s a lot of people more concerned about being precisely, factually, and semantically correct than about being morally right.”

“Morally right” in this context means “left-wing.” The farther left, the more morally right. This would make enslaving the population and collapsing the economy with her Pol Pot-esque Green New Deal the ne plus ultra of moral rectitude.

Lies told to advance what is morally right can be excused.

If lying can be excused, so too can other moral infractions. You can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs.

On a tip from Varla.

Dec 12 2018

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Calls John Kelly a Coward

What she lacks in brains and benevolence, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez does not make up in class. The witless Marxist virago shrieks that outgoing White House Chief of Staff John Kelly is a coward:

Kelly had a very public clash with [ludicrous fur cowboy hat–wearing congresscritter Frederica] Wilson when the congresswoman used the death of an American soldier to criticize President Trump while later celebrating that the incident had made her “a rock star.”

Another congresscretin of color jumped in:

Rep. Barbara Lee shared a Washington Post article on Kelly which very briefly states, without evidence, that “Kelly falsely attacked Rep. Frederica S. Wilson.”

Then the bartender become congresscommie elect joined the fray:

Being called a coward must be a first for Kelly, who enlisted in the Marines during the Vietnam War and worked his way up to four-star General.

He has earned numerous awards, including the Navy Presidential Unit Citation, a Legion of Merit w/ Gold Star with Combat “V,” and Defense Superior Service Medal.

Kelly is also a Gold Star father.

For her part, Alexandria risked cutting her finger while slicing limes for cocktails.

On a tip from Jack Bauer.

Dec 10 2018

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Is Now Jewish

If Elizabeth Warren can be an Indian, certainly Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez can be Jewish:

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez told the audience at a Hannukah celebration on Sunday evening that she is descended from Sephardic Jews who fled Spain during the Inquisition.

At the event organized by Jews for Racial and Economic Justice in Queens, New York, the newly elected Democratic congresswoman described how Jews fleeing persecution arrived in Puerto Rico, where cultures would blend and some outwardly practicing Catholics would also keep a menorah at home.

This will suffice to win the hearts of leftist Jews like the audience she was pandering to here, despite her denunciation of the “occupation of Palestine” and her characterization of Israel defending its border as a “massacre.”

On a tip from ABC of the ANC.

Dec 09 2018

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Threatens Donald Jr

Congresscommie elect Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is a true leftist. That is to say, she is a thug. Not even having taken office yet, she is already abusing her power. Here she threatens Donald Trump Jr:

In other words, Stop making fun of me or I will use the force of the federal government to retaliate.

Alexandria’s threat was in response to this Instagram post:

She has committed a clear ethics violation, as members of Congress are not allowed to threaten punitive action. But what fun is power if you can’t abuse it to crush your opponents, and what’s the point of being a Marxist like Alexandria if not to achieve power?

On tips from Becky in Washington, Bluto, and Mr Freemarket.

Dec 07 2018

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Wins Four Pinocchios

Hats off to congresscretin elect Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who has been awarded four Pinocchios for her preposterous claim that two-thirds of the cost of imposing socialized medicine could be covered by correcting Pentagon accounting errors.

The same Washington Post that recently hailed her as the newest star of the Democratic Party now admits that Alexandria deserves four Pinocchios for at least four reasons. The first is that the $21 trillion figure — which she got out of an article in the wackadoodle ultraleft rag The Nation that went straight over the economics major’s head — includes inflows, outflows, assets, and liabilities, so that the same dollar could be counted multiple times. It certainly is not as if someone could write a check against the $21 trillion and spend it elsewhere.

As for the other reasons,

Two, the $21 trillion estimate covers 17 years, but the $32 trillion cost estimate on Medicare-for-all covers 10 years. Three, Ocasio-Cortez said she was making a rhetorical point, but that’s unconvincing since she said “66% of Medicare for All could have been funded already by the Pentagon.” Four, the offending tweet has been retweeted more than 26,000 times and will probably keep confusing people who take it at face value.

Stay tuned for more moonbattery. Due to liberals’ infatuation with her, there is a camera on Alexandria virtually every moment, and she spends many of these moments saying supremely stupid things.

Maybe if she collects enough Pinocchios, she can cash them in for a Flybar My First Foam Pogo Jumper, which Democrats would surely find as impressive as Beto O’Rourke’s skateboard.

Nov 25 2018

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s Shoes as Sacred Relics

While we laugh at the conspicuously clueless and cognitively challenged leftist wackadoodle Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, liberals worship her to the point of putting her shoes in a museum before she has even taken office:

The 29-year-old’s first pair of shoes she wore on the campaign trail are now making fashion history as part of the Cornell Costume Collection, in the exhibit titled “WOMEN EMPOWERED: Fashions from the Frontline.”

This museum of matriarchal moonbattery will also feature collars belonging to Ruth Bader Ginsburg and a Janet Reno skirt, which can double as a tarpaulin to protect the other items in case of a roof leak.

AO-C’s shoes get the sacred relic treatment due to this tweet:

She won despite her obvious lack of qualifications because she is a Woman of Color who keeps the knob dialed all the way to the left. Consequently, as the Washington Post and Tom Perez bark, she is the future of the Democratic Party, and the future for all of us if the demographics of the country are made to resemble those of her Queens/Bronx district.

On tips from Heckrules and Varla.

Nov 01 2018

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Exploits Pittsburgh Dead

Shamelessness will allow Democrats to wring every last vote out of the senseless and essentially nonpolitical carnage at the synagogue in Pittsburgh. Check out this extract from an email sent out by leftist demagogue Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to her supporters:

A Democratic majority will not bring back the eleven Jewish people in Pittsburgh, massacred while they prayed. …

But on Sunday evening, Pittsburgh mourners—angry and broken-hearted like us—chanted ‘Vote! Vote! Vote!’ They understand the magnitude of the midterm election six days from today: that it affords us the chance to forge a powerful bulwark against Donald Trump’s hate and hold accountable the Republicans who have been complicit in every step of his toxic, self-serving, and destructive agenda.

The implication that Robert Bowers was implementing Republican policy by murdering people for being Jewish is clear.

Actually, the shooting had nothing to do with Trump, whom Bowers dislikes for being such a good friend to Jews. No other president has had the guts to stand up to Islamists and their hand-wringing apologists by moving the US embassy to Jerusalem.

But in politics, perception is reality — or at least it counts as reality on election day. That’s why everywhere you look during election season, you see clouds of vicious, irresponsible lies.

On a tip from Sean C.

Oct 09 2018

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Issues Bizarre Denunciation of Electoral College

Today’s Democrats do not want merely to run our system. They want to tear it down and replace it with something that will serve their sole purpose: power in perpetuity. Their Cultural Marxist rhetoric has been used to attack fundamental pillars of American society that serve as bulwarks against tyranny. Here, the Future of the Democrat Party (as DNC Chairman Thomas Perez calls Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez) swings the P.C. sledgehammer at the Electoral College:

High-profile Democratic congressional candidate Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York labeled the Electoral College “a shadow of slavery’s power” in a recent tweet.

Eliminating the Electoral College has become a Democratic talking point ever since the election of President Donald Trump. Democrat Hillary Clinton won the 2016 popular vote, largely on the strength of wide majorities in New York and California, but Trump won the most electoral votes, which are apportioned in proportion to a state’s population.

The Founding Fathers designed it that way on purpose, so that highly populated states like California could not impose their will on the other states, which would lead to an unstable not to mention tyrannical situation.

But Democrats don’t care about that stuff. The Constitution is just a piece of paper scribbled on by Dead White Males. They care about one thing: power. Once they get enough of it, you can say good-bye to our constitutional republic.

Behold the future of a formerly proud political party:

On a tip from KirklesWorth.

Sep 05 2018

Another Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: Introducing Ayanna Pressley

Far left bartender-come-presumed-congresscritter Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez isn’t the last of her kind. Introducing Ayanna Pressley, who beat 20-year incumbent Michael Capuano in the Democrat primary by double digits. After an easy win in November, she will represent Massachusetts’s 7th District in Congress — the same district once represented by the adamant anticommunist JFK.

Pressley is no anticommunist. She is not only a Woman of Color (a prime qualification among Democrats these days), but a moonbat.

She promises to prevent the USA from defending its territorial sovereignty by opposing any bill that includes funding for a border wall and by abolishing ICE. She has managed to outflank even Capuano on the left by opposing a Blue Lives Matter bill. She wants socialized medicine. She sides with the pampered anti-American jackasses in the NFL who present theatrical displays of disrespect when the national anthem is performed.

At least she appears to have a high enough opinion of her future constituents to be flabbergasted that they would elect her. Check out the look on her face when she found out she had won:

That will be the look on all of our faces when we have to start living under the laws she and others like her are likely to impose.

Aug 09 2018

More Amazing Economics from Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Undergraduate tuition at Boston University costs $52,816 per year. Judging by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who got a degree in economics there, it is worth every penny.

She acquired remarkable information, such as the fact that America’s upper middle class no longer exists (actually, it comprised 29.4% of the population in 2014, and has continued to grow).

Better still than facts, she has insight. She knows that the only reason unemployment has been low since we got Obama out of office is that “everyone has two jobs.”

Never mind that nationalizing healthcare under the slogan Medicare for All! will cost us an additional $32 TRILLION over the next 10 years, possibly enough to trigger economic collapse. She understands that we can make up the cost on funeral savings:

“Americans have the sticker shock of health care as it is, and what we’re also not talking about is why aren’t we incorporating the cost of all the funeral expenses of those who died because they can’t afford access to health care?”

Socialized medicine means not having to pay for funerals anymore. Once the federal government has total control, it can just adjust the regulations so that no one is ever allowed to die.

This is who the liberal establishment embraces as the future of the Democrat Party.

On tips from Varla.

Jul 28 2018

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Confirms Her Ditziness in Another Disastrous Interview

Her constituents may not be, but even Daily Show moonbat Trevor Noah is curious as to how Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez would pay for her extravagant socialist wish list. So he asked her:

Ocasio-Cortez responded first by saying she had “sat down with a Nobel Prize economist last week,” laughing, “I can’t believe I can say that, it’s really weird.”

Not so weird when you consider that Barack Obama was awarded a Nobel Prize soon after taking office. Mad Alexandria could be in line for a prize herself if she keeps spouting moonbattery.

The meeting with the economist did not rectify the serious deficiencies in AO-C’s conception of economics.

“One of the things that we saw is, if people pay their fair share,” she said, “if corporations and the ultra-wealthy — for example, as Warren Buffett likes to say, if he paid as much as his secretary pays, 15 percent — if he paid a 15 percent tax rate; if corporations paid — if we reverse the tax bill, but raised our corporate tax rate to 28 percent, which is not even as high as it was before, if we do those two things and also close some of those loopholes, that’s $2 trillion right there.”

Never mind that $2 trillion would hardly put a dent in her spending plans. As IQs rise toward room temperature, people become aware that confiscating money at ever higher rates does not increase revenue, because the government can only appropriate a somewhat larger slice of a pie that shrinks enormously when taxation rises.

“That’s $2 trillion in ten years, and it’s — one of the wide estimates is that it’s going to take $3 trillion to $4 trillion to transition us to 100 percent renewable energy economy,” she continued.

A 100% renewable energy economy would cost more than she thinks. In terms of lost tax revenue, mass starvation is quite pricey. Windmills and solar panels would not prevent total economic collapse if efficient means of generating electricity (i.e., fossil fuels and nuclear) are forbidden.

“So we got $2 trillion from folks paying their fair share, which they were not paying before the Trump tax bill. They weren’t — like they weren’t paying that before the Trump tax bill. If we get people to pay their fair share, that’s $2 trillion in ten years.”

A fair share would be a flat rate. This is anything but fair:

• In 2014, the top 50 percent of all taxpayers paid 97.3 percent of all individual income taxes while the bottom 50 percent paid the remaining 2.7 percent.
• The top 1 percent paid a greater share of individual income taxes (39.5 percent) than the bottom 90 percent combined (29.1 percent).
• The top 1 percent of taxpayers paid a 27.1 percent individual income tax rate, which is more than seven times higher than taxpayers in the bottom 50 percent (3.5 percent).

But the only way today’s Democrats would support a flat rate would be if you set it at 100% (as Barack Obama’s father proposed).

Returning to Alexandria’s latest catastrophic interview,

She then argued for implementing a carbon tax claiming that would make “a large amount of revenue.”

But… I thought there would be no allegedly weather-causing carbon in utopia’s 100% renewable energy economy.

“The last key, which is extremely, extremely important, is reprioritization,” she argued. “Just last year we gave the military a $700 billion budget increase, which they didn’t even ask for! They’re, like, we don’t want another fighter jet! They’re, like, don’t give us another nuclear bomb, you know? They didn’t even ask for it and we gave it to them. And so a lot of what we need to do reprioritize what we want accomplish as a nation.”

She wants to abolish ICE; why not abolish the armed forces? If we aren’t going to defend the border from invasion, a military serves no purpose.

Democrats have anointed an idiot as the future of their party. Any random 8-year-old would be as qualified to serve in Congress.

On a tip from Varla.

Jul 27 2018

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Supporters Are as Clueless as You Would Expect

Socialist Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is all the rage on the Democrat side of the aisle, earning the enthusiastic approval even of pillars of the liberal establishment like the Washington Post. Her official platform offers lots of goodies at someone else’s expense, including free college, housing as a right, Medicare for all, guaranteed jobs, and open borders so that the whole world can partake of the cornucopia.

The moonbats who voted for Mad Alexandria in the primaries love the promised freebies. As for how to finance them and how AO-C’s policies are working out in Venezuela, they are as clueless as you would expect:

On a tip from KirklesWorth.

Jul 26 2018

Captain Kirk vs Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Allie Beth Stuckey is not the only one to have some fun with Mad Alexandria’s disastrous PBS interview. William Shatner was already in hot water with moonbats for not being on board with frog-marching Laura Ingalls Wilder to the Memory Hole. They will really bare their fangs when they see this Captain Kirk vs Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez episode of Star Trek:

Jul 25 2018

Moonbats Outraged by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Parody Video

It isn’t easy to parody the Future of the Democratic Party, because the party’s latest rock star already takes self-parody about as far as it can go. But CRTV’s Allie Beth Stuckey does a commendable job in the Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez parody video below. She bases the satire on AO-C’s disastrous PBS interview, in which her radicalism and cluelessness were on appalling display:

Pundits on the left perceptively discerned that the video is not on the level. They reacted with outrage, as if progressives did not use similar techniques on liberal platforms like Comedy Central on a regular basis:

As Hot Air observes, the satire is actually less damaging to AO-C than the real interview. The whole point is to generate laughs. But humor is incomprehensible to moonbats unless the butt of the joke is a conservative.

On a tip from TCS III.

Jul 24 2018

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: The Future of the Democratic Party

Thomas Perez is not just some random moonbat. He is Chairmoonbat of the Democratic National Committee. When he says the clueless and visibly insane ultra-leftist Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is the future of the Democratic Party, we could be in for a wild ride:

On the grounds that she is a Woman of Color and has dialed herself to 11 on the left, the liberal establishment bastion WaPo concurs that AO-C is the future of the Democratic Party.

On tips from 1-Bodhisattva and KirklesWorth.

Jul 17 2018

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Denounces Capitalism and Occupation of Palestine

Such pillars of the Democratic establishment as the Washington Post are delighted to acknowledge Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez as the new face of their party. To generate such enthusiasm, a young woman who less than a year ago was working as a bartender must have something going for her other than the Woman of Color status that gets WaPo so excited.

What she has is reflexive and unmitigated moonbattery, which she pushes to extremes that will send moderate voters (assuming there are any in her Bronx/Queens district) hiding under the furniture. For example, in a friendly interview with PBS, she crowed that capitalism — which has performed miracles by radically improving the standard of living of the human race as a whole — won’t be around forever:

“Unemployment is low because everyone has two jobs,” Ocasio-Cortez explained, lamenting that people are employed but having to work long hours, “Capitalism has not always existed in the world and will not always exist in the world,” she continued.

She may be right that capitalism will not always exist. It requires the freedom that leftists systematically undermine. If Ocasio-Cortez et al. prevail, society will collapse into the poverty that accompanies tyranny.

Alexandria further buttressed her hard-left credentials by referring to “the occupation of Palestine.” Hamas and other Islamic terror groups that use similar rhetoric to justify killing Jews will be delighted:

This adolescent radical mentality has become the center of gravity in the Democratic Party. Even if she has no idea what she is talking about, all Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has to do is keep being a Woman of Color and remember to always bear left. She will go far.

On tips from 1-Bodhisattva and StephaneDumas.

Jun 28 2018

The New Face of the Democratic Party: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

The double-digit primary win by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez over establishment bigwig Joe Crowley, who was poised to become Speaker of the House, demonstrates how far over the cliff into abject radicalism the Democrat Party has gone.

Ocasio-Cortez, who less than a year ago was working as a bartender, wants to impeach Trump, abolish Immigrations and Customs Enforcement, socialize medicine, ban fossil fuels, and guarantee a $15/hour job and free college for everyone.

The result of imposing this agenda would be total ruin, featuring hundreds of millions pouring across the undefended border from the Third World to get their piece of pie during the few years it might take for the USA to collapse into bankruptcy.

Surely the Democrat apparatchiks who run the mainstream media object to nutcases taking over their party and consigning it to the lunatic fringe. Or maybe not.

The Washington Post enthusiastically embraces Ocasio-Cortez in the name of its official ideology, cultural Marxism. Lauding her as the “newest star of the Democratic Party,” WaPo crows:

Democratic voters are increasingly embracing diversity as a way to realize the change they seek in the country.

Given an option, Democratic voters have been picking women, racial minorities, and gay men and lesbians in races around the country at historic rates, often at the expense of the white male candidates who in past years typified the party’s offerings.

Crowley is a white man, so he had to go. Nonwhite race, nonmale gender, and a willingness to publicly confess to sexual perversion are the primary qualifications for holding office among Democrats.

As WaPo’s odious Dana Milbank approvingly notes,

A majority of House Democrats are either women, people of color or gay.

No wonder Joe Biden gloats that welfare and immigration policy are transforming America into a nonwhite country. The Democratic Party has become inseparably bound to its cultural Marxist tactics. Only by erasing the old America and replacing it with a different country populated by a different people with a different heritage can Democrats achieve and maintain power democratically.

Ocasio-Cortez — with her ditzy, economically infeasible objectives — personifies the type of people who will be running it.

On a tip from 1-Bodhisattva.

Jan 22 2019

Alexia Ocasio-Cortez Announces End of the World

This is alarming. Alexia Ocasio-Cortez, Future of the Democrat Party, says the end of the world is fast upon us if the government does not spend as much money optimizing the climate as it did in World War II:

“I think the part of it that is generational is that millennials and people, in Gen Z, and all these folks that come after us are looking up and we’re like, the world is gonna end in 12 years if we don’t address climate change. [Your] biggest issue, your biggest issue is how are [we] going to pay for it? — and like this is the war, this is our World War II.”

This is alarming not because any sane person believes the world is about to end, that the constantly fluctuating climate is a problem on the scale of WWII, or even that the federal bureaucracy can control the climate. What is alarming is that people who have power over us may actually believe this hysterical claptrap.

You think she doesn’t really mean it? That no one could get elected to Congress who is so clueless as to believe that the world will soon end if the government doesn’t blow $trillions tilting at windmills? That she just got a little carried away with her demagoguery in the heat of the moment? Guess again:

Global warming is not just an ideology; it is a cult — at the Heaven’s Gate level of lunacy.

People who honestly believe in the impending end of the world are capable of anything. That could be why the radicals steering the course of the Democrat Party don’t care how much their pipe dreams cost.

On tips from Varla, Stormfax, and 1-Bodhisattva.

May 23 2019

AOC Denounces Cauliflower as Colonial

Normally, moonbats want us to eat vegetables. We are told that we must replace meat with them, in order to improve the weather. But not all vegetables are good.

After “racist,” the ultimate pejorative among progressives is “colonial”; it refers to the spread of that which they most hate: Western Civilization. Now we learn from font of knowledge Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez that cauliflower is colonial:

Ocasio-Cortez said Sunday that growing cauliflower in community gardens is part of the “colonial” attitudes that her Green New Deal will stamp out.

Community gardens are a “core component” of her Khmer Rouge style proposal to radically restructure society under the pretense that this will somehow prevent the climate from continuing to fluctuate the way it always has. But just as air travel and fossil fuels must be eradicated, so must cauliflower.

Evidently, white people eat cauliflower. Therefore, it is bad and makes the climate angry. We must grow yucca instead.

See for yourself what we are ruled by thanks to moonbattery:

Nonwhites are “naturally attuned to live in an environmentally conscious way.” That’s why you don’t see any pollution in places like Africa.

Not white people though. They screw everything up with their colonial cauliflower.

It was also interesting to learn that AOC’s relatives in Puerrrrto Rrrrico live off the land. I had assumed they mostly live off welfare financed by US taxpayers.

On tips from Kate P and demoKKKrat RACIST *STILL* GOV.

May 22 2019

AOC Reveals Root Cause of Arab–Israeli Conflict

No wonder both the political and propaganda wings of the Democrat Party hail Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez as its future. She has ingeniously uncovered the root cause of Muslims attempting to eradicate the Jewish presence in the Middle East for the past 1,400 years.

Some thought it was due to Mohammad hating Jews because they laughed at him when he tried to get them to accept him as a prophet. Some thought the conflict was rooted in Islamic doctrine, according to which any territory that has been conquered by Muslims must be ruled by Muslims forever more.

But AOC reveals the truth about the Arab–Israeli conflict. Turns out, it’s Republicans’ fault for pitting Muslims and Jews against each other, instead of siding with Muslims like Democrats do:

AOC’s insight also sheds light on why cats and dogs don’t get along, and possibly why fire and water don’t mix.

On a tip from Dan F.

May 16 2019

Outraged AOC Defends Her Moustache

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez continues to foil attempts to parody her. What satire could top denouncing a body-shamer at a nail salon for offering to do something about her moustache?

As an added bonus, AOC explains that it is unfair to blame socialism for the failure of socialism in socialist Venezuela, since we don’t blame capitalism for the failure of socialism in socialist Zimbabwe:

As the quintessential clueless left-wing millennial, AOC would be hilarious, if she did not have power over her betters.

On a tip from Kate P.

May 15 2019

AOC Says We’re Dumb for Taking Her Seriously

Rashida Tlaib is not the only Justice Democrat congresscritter to shoot herself in the foot recently by insulting the public while in damage control mode. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has attempted to justify her proposed $zillion Green New Deal power grab on the grounds that the world will end in 12 years if we don’t devote the nation to a radical if ineffectual gesture in defiance of the ever-changing climate. As usual, people responded to her earnest squeaks with guffaws. The mental defective responds in turn by saying we are the stupid ones for taking her seriously. Tweets AOC:

This is a technique of the GOP, to take dry humor + sarcasm literally and “fact check” it.

Like the “world ending in 12 years” thing, you’d have to have the social intelligence of a sea sponge to think it’s literal.

To be called dumb by AOC really stings. At least we will know better in the future than to take her seriously — or the United Nations either, since that is apparently where she got her 12-year prognostication of doom.

Earlier, however, AOC denounced Republicans for calling her 12 years to doom prediction a gaffe, on the grounds that there was a hurricane and therefore anthropogenic global warming ideology is true:

Hilariously, she also said this:

“We have twelve years left to cut emissions by at least 50 percent if not more,” Ocasio-Cortez said. “For everyone who wants to make a joke about that, you may laugh, but you’re grandkids will not, so understand that the internet documents everything.”

It sure does document everything: even vast things, like AOC’s idiocy.

On tips from Jester and KirklesWorth.

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