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Mar 12 2013

Big Government Sets Out to Discover Why Lesbians Are Fat

Lost your job because the Obama Regime has sucked all the money out of the private sector with its never-ending spending binge? Rest assured that it is not for nothing. If not for the federal government, who would spend mountains of money on a quest to determine why lesbians are usually obese?

The National Institutes of Health (NIH) has awarded $1.5 million to study biological and social factors for why “three-quarters” of lesbians are obese and why gay males are not, calling it an issue of “high public-health significance.”

In the olden days, medical research was primarily concerned with frivolous issues like curing cancer. But now that Big Government dominates the healthcare industry, more important social justice issues are addressed. This usually involves searching for “disparities” — i.e., evidence that even disease is racist, homophobic, et cetera, thereby requiring more government spending and more emphasis on racism, homophobia, et cetera.

Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, Mass., has received two grants administered by NIH’s Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD) to study the relationship between sexual orientation and obesity.

Someone should investigate the relation between pandering to deviant “sexual orientations” and receiving lucrative government grants for frivolous research.

rosie odonnell
Why not just ask Rosie O’Donnell how she got so fat?

On tips from whotothewhat, Artfldgr, and BoJangles.

38 Responses to “Big Government Sets Out to Discover Why Lesbians Are Fat”

  1. DANEgerus says:

    What if Michelle Obama forced them to eat school lunches?

  2. Doug says:

    I think it has something to do with overeating of pie.

  3. KHarn says:

    What I want to know is why lesbians are not FEMININE! I mean, they SAY that they are attracted to women, so why do they want to look like IMITATION MEN?

    Even lesbians couldn’t answer that when asked.

  4. MicahStone says:

    Why not just ask Rosie O’Donnell how she got so fat?
    ..but then we’d also have to ask HOW DID SHE GET SO REPULSIVELY, VOMIT-INDUCING UGLY?

  5. Steve says:

    Duh, lesbians are fat on purpose to make themselves grosser. You don’t need $1.5 million to figure that out.

  6. TruthHurts says:

    The real reason they are lesbian is because they are so fat and ugly. No men wants them. So they have to become a “man”. These cows will get some younger confused woman they can usually dominate in the relationship.

  7. Mickey Shea says:

    Shouldn’t the question be why are so many fatties lesbian?

  8. Comrade J says:

    The answer is the same as to why homosexuals (both men and women) suffer from depression, anger, anxiety; drugs and alcohol abuse , etc, etc in disproportionately bigger numbers.

    It is a mental illness brought about by sometimes direct, sometimes indirect choices. Like with any other sexual deviancy, the brain “rewires” and actually degrades. This results in breakdown of normal psychological and later physical functions.

    In an oversimplified example, it’s like human body not being able to move in certain ways without breaking bones and ripping out joins. Even for a most flexible person there are motion range boundaries.

  9. Gunny G says:

    Rosie, UGLY, FAT and STUPID is no way to go through life.

  10. Ummah Gummah says:


    Maybe they are lesbians BECAUSE they are fat, libs!!!

    Noone wants them, not even those little LIEberal trolls posting on Conservative sites from their mother’s basements.


  11. Doug says:

    Gunny, why she’s so ugly, she could be a “modern art masterpiece” don’t you think?

  12. Doug says:

    LOVE the comments in the link.

    Here are a few gems:

    I went to a gay picnic the other day. The hot dogs tasted like shit.

    a friend of mine went to a gay hot tube party.. a big bunch of cum floated to the top.. one guy said.. ok who farted..

    Couldn’t they have just asked Janet Napolitano?

    $1.5 million would fund 83 weeks of White House tours. Why not have the tours guided by fat lesbians? The exercise would help them lose weight.

  13. Ummah Gummah says:


    Why not just ask Rosie O’Donnell how she got so fat?

    A.: She was eating Roseanne’s Barf.

    [I know that’s totally gross, but I just couldn’t resist]


  14. mean boy says:

    Who cares about the problems of some fugly roll-your-own-tampon diesel dyke poster children for contraception. Ohh…the best government money can buy does. Soon they will have much bigger problems to worry about since all the countries that mean us harm know we have a weak lefty rat traitor for president.

  15. claw says:

    Maybe Mayor Bloomburp should ban eating 32 oz. pussy. It’s like his justification for the soda ban; portion control.

  16. Tax Slave says:

    Lesbianism and Obesity:
    Which is Cause and which is Effect?

  17. Big Ol Hairy Gov says:

    Were they sitting around all day at their government jobs and not exercising?

  18. mtminer says:

    Spoons made Rosie O’Donnell fat!!! Ban Spoons!!

  19. Leonard Jones says:


    What is the difference between a feminist and a cow?

    50 pounds and a flannel shirt.

    “Feminist” has in recent years become synonymous with

  20. SNuss says:

    The answer is obvious, from a Leftist point of view:
    Spoons made them fat, just like cars cause drunk driving, and guns shoot people all by themselves (especially those nasty “assault weapons”).

  21. Ghost of FA Hayek says:

    We already know the results of this study
    15 million to study disparate impact
    Plus another 15 million anti lesbian obesity campaign
    And for a slogan ?
    How about “eat Rosie”

  22. Elizabeth says:

    KHarn says:

    What I want to know is why lesbians are not FEMININE! I mean, they SAY that they are attracted to women, so why do they want to look like IMITATION MEN?



    Why do lesbians use fake penises such as dildos & strap-ons when the real deal is available?

    Does their hatred of men & the patriarchy override their love of dick, so they resort to using plastic ones?

    It doesn’t make sense.

  23. Xavier says:

    NY should set an example and ban lesbeans from purchasing or possessing high calorie foods since they’re an at-risk group. A sexual orientation marker on drivers licenses or an armband would help keep these women Barbie Doll thin. Maybe a pink triangle?

  24. Gunny G says:



    She looks like about a hundred and fifty pounds of chewed bubblegum!

  25. Bob Smith says:

    If the sexes were reversed, it would not be an “issue of high public-health significance.”

  26. Flu-Bird says:

    How about a study why liberal politicians like to spend other peoples money

  27. bully says:

    Rosie and machine gun Kelly make an interesting pair. What the hell are they always so pissed off about?

  28. dan says:

    why do heifers mount heifers ?

    estrogen and a lack of a bull.

  29. Flu-Bird says:

    Nosie Rosie gun control hypotcrit

  30. […] Big Government Sets Out to Discover Why Lesbians Are Fat […]

  31. firefirefire says:


  32. FreedomByTheBlade says:

    I am just laughing my ass off that Rosie O’Donnell Is the de facto “fat lesbian”

  33. KHarn says:

    “Flu-Bird says:March 12, 2013 at 10:19 pm
    “How about a study why liberal politicians like to spend other peoples money”

    My head just exploded.

  34. grayjohn says:

    How much would it cost to find someone who gives a shit why? For 1.5 million I could fake it. Otherwise I don’t give a shit.

  35. Momster says:

    Heck Flu-Bird, I’m not liberal/prog/commie and I’D like to spend other people’s money.

    But, note being a Lib/prog/commie I don’t have the means to confiscate other people’s cash (taxation) to blow on this kind of BS.

    Why cut down on such things as the GI Bill when they could eliminate millions from the budget (is there a budget yet–after 5 years) by cutting programs such as this…as well as art therapy for the homeless, pottery classes in Morocco, taking the anal temperatures of Alaskan sled dogs. I made the last one up–but I am pretty sure there is something like that out there–would not be surprised in the least–just disgusted.

  36. Carrie says:

    Here, let me try to solve this mystery.

    It’s easier for straight fat guys to find a female willing to have sex with than it is for a fat gay man to find another gay man that would want to have sex with them. Thus, a straight guy may not feel as compelled to work out. Men generally like mates that take care of their bodies. So if a gay man wants to attract other gay men, especially attractive ones, he’d probably want to exercise more regularly. I’ve also read gay men are more promiscuous than straight men, so if they want to have lots of partners, being more fit would help.

    Women are more lenient on the weight thing, which is why it isn’t uncommon to see a fit woman with a fat husband, but not a fat woman with a fit husband. So it’s easier for a fat lesbian to find another woman to be with her than it is for a fat straight woman to find a man, so a lesbian may not feel as compelled to exercise and eat healthy.

    Can I have a million dollars?

    And even if I’m completely wrong, what does it matter? I don’t understand why anyone would even fund this study. What a waste of money. If someone is overweight, it is most likely because they don’t get enough exercise or eat too much junk food, whether they’re gay or not.

  37. […] as miserable as possible with their faux sequester cuts, they leave things in the budget like $1,500,000 to study why lesbians are fat.  Maybe it never occurred to them that fat women are more likely to say they are lesbian, just […]

  38. […] enough that the federal government flushed away $1.5 million of our money trying to figure out why most lesbians are so fat. Now […]

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