moonbattery logo

May 11 2012

Coming Next: ADA Lawsuits Over Shy Bladder Syndrome

Still more utter insanity compliments of the deranged Americans With Disabilities Act:

It could cost U.S. employers between $2 billion and $4 billion to comply with an obscure Americans with Disabilities Act regulation meant to protect workers who are gun-shy in public restrooms.

According to an informal discussion letter the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission issued in August 2011, “paruresis” — more commonly known as “shy bladder syndrome” — qualifies as a disability under the amended Americans with Disabilities Act. …

If every employer large enough to be subject to the ADA were to hedge against future lawsuits by adding segregated restrooms for timid tinklers, the cost would exceed the gross domestic product of many small nations.

In the beginning, the ADA only covered severe handicaps. But as with all things Big Government, it grew, and grew, and kept growing well past the point of absurdity.

The locust swarm of lawyers that is eating our country alive will no longer be required to find someone to roll around in a wheelchair, looking for businesses to extort with threats of lawsuits. Anyone can pretend to be a “timid tinkler.”

Maybe the right toilet seat would get timid tinklers in the mood.

On tips from AC, Varla, and Cargo Pilot. Graphic compliments of Turkey Lurker.

12 Responses to “Coming Next: ADA Lawsuits Over Shy Bladder Syndrome”

  1. Every time I use this I know I am dropping an Obama.

  2. Kek says:

    FINALLY!!! I like a little privacy when I urinate. It gives me the freedom to pick my nose and flip the booger on the wall in front of me. Heck, sometimes I fondle my nuts; it makes a day at the office go a little better.

    Yes, I’m the asshole who does that.

  3. Alxandro says:

    Now would be a good time to move “forward” and bring back the outhouses for the timid tinckler.

  4. whotothewhat says:

    I just go behind the dumpster out back of the Mexican restaurant near my office.

  5. Jay B. says:

    This is pretty much the trial lawyer’s endgame: A handicap that requires no particular behavior or physical problems, just someone who is enough of a slime to claim the money.

  6. Jimbo says:

    Since I’m colorblind, I demand that all traffic signals use words rather than colors.

    Also, since I’m colorblind, the homosexuals’ rainbow flag MUST GO! I demand that all homosexuals fly a white flag with the word HOMO printed in black.

  7. Henry says:

    “Reasonable” accommodation is the standard. A 5 gallon bucket in the janitor’s closet is reasonable to me.

  8. Boo Radley says:

    It is a condition that is comparable to fear of flying or claustrophobia, and it can be bad.

    I would recommend one accommodation: the person is allowed the option to pay for alternative drug testing, i.e., an alcohol breath test and hair sampling as opposed to urine testing. For those who want to improve their lives, that is all they would ask. For those who want the government nanny, no number of government accommodations will be enough to allow them to work for a living.

  9. Bo Jangles says:

    Shakespeare was right,

    “If you want to solve the worlds problems, you must first start by killing all the lawyers…”

  10. dan says:

    just scatter some Fruit-loops in the toilet…
    but B-Jangles is right.
    Technically ,no BAR Members(British Acreditation Registry)
    which bestows a FOREIGN TITLE upon lawyers is eligible
    to hold a position in our government….IF you want to follow the Constitution

  11. Great Lake State says:

    Yes, but after the timid tinklers toss their lunch after being confronted with that toilet seat would still have a problem taking care of the business they went into the bathroom for ?

  12. […] thought this was a gag at first – Coming Next: ADA Lawsuits Over Shy Bladder Syndrome.  Sadly, it isn’t.  This is government out of […]

Alibi3col theme by Themocracy