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Dec 01 2013

Dial 00000000 for Armageddon

It’s reassuring that the fate of human civilization rests in sophisticated hands:

For nearly 20 years, the secret code to authorize launching U.S. nuclear missiles, and starting World War III, was terrifyingly simple and even noted down on a checklist.

From 1962, when John F Kennedy instituted PAL encoding on nuclear weapons, until 1977, the combination to fire the devastating missiles at the height of the Cold War was just 00000000.

Good thing the code has been changed. Obama would never be able to remember all those zeroes. The new code was inspired by the movie Spaceballs:

On tips from Lyle.

10 Responses to “Dial 00000000 for Armageddon”

  1. dan says:

    the Scwhwartz…I’d forgotten the power of the Schwartz !

    oooooooo….they KNEW it would be pResident Zeroe
    and just wanted something he and Biden would be
    able to remember

  2. Son of Taz says:

    Wonder if the Obamacare website’s administrative login is ‘admin’ and ‘password’.

    Nah, they’re much too smart to do that.

  3. Xavier says:

    It’s been changed to IIIIIIII.

  4. Jim says:

    Damn, that’s the same combination on my luggage too. Ah, I’ll change it to – 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1. Nobody will figure that one out.

  5. Tatersalad says:

    Another Obama/Holder “Fast & Furious” on the horizon? Why is the media silent? This is a good signal that there is something smelling like a dead fish here. – I wonder if it really is the first time they have made such a discovery. I wonder who in the government may be complicit in this. The authorities are claiming the heavy weaponry came from the US. I smell a DOJ rat here… another potential Fast and Furious sleight of hand maneuver. I just bet they are working with international authorities on this and Eric Holder is tied up in it, leading it somewhere.

  6. KHarn says:

    The code is now “I don’t know”.

    It should be very secure because no politician would EVER speak those words!

  7. True Blue says:

    And yet none of the gun-toting heterosexual white males manning those silos Ever tried to initiate a launch…

  8. Winston Smith says:

    They change the code to 4-8-15-16-23-42

  9. Jester says:

    After Obama was appointed the code was changed to:


  10. Spurwing Plover says:

    Washington D.C. Filled with assholes

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