If men can marry each other on the grounds that they have perverse erotic relationships, then Sonja Semyonova can marry a tree. After all, she is ecosexual:

Semyonova, 45, claims she connected with the tree during her lonely, solo walks in the summer of 2021. Those walks began in 2020, during the coronavirus pandemic. It was the same year that she moved to Vancouver Island in British Columbia, Canada.

Her feelings toward the tree are not entirely platonic:

The feeling of being tiny and supported by something so solid. The feeling of not being able to fall,” she said, further describing her “erotic” experiences with this tree, although she said she does not have physical relations with the oak.

Maybe there is still morality among moonbats, and she is waiting until after marriage.

“I would lie against it. There was an eroticism with something so big and so old holding my back,” she continued, asserting that there are major misconceptions about ecosexuality, which the environmental group the Sierra Club describes as “unabashedly queer.”

The website Here Come the Ecosexuals! defines ecosexuality, in part, as “a person that finds nature romantic, sensual, and sexy.”

Where sexual depravity meets envirolunacy — there you will find the future of moonbattery.

On a tip from Brian Brandt.