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Dec 11 2019

Evanston to Fund Slavery Reparations with Marijuana Sales

Some extremes of moonbat insanity can only be achieved in college towns — such as Berkeley, Austin, and Evanston, Illinois, home of Northwestern University, where local bureaucrats plan to use marijuana sales to fund slavery reparations.

The Northwest Ordinance abolished slavery in the region in 1787; Evanston did not become a city until 1892. But of course, reparations aren’t about slavery, since slaves and their masters have been gone for generations. It is about circumventing the welfare state middle man to pay people directly for being black. This is a high priority in Evanston, because to the horror of local liberals, the black population has been declining.

Imagine trying to produce infinite electricity by plugging a surge protector into itself. In Evanston, this principle will be put into practice. Blacks given free money to reward them for their politically preferred skin color will presumably spend some of it on marijuana, which will be taxed to provide them with more free money to spend on more marijuana. Ingenious, if only the numbers would add up. But with leftist economics, they never do.

Via Sultan Knish:

“We are at this point because we have done a lot in Evanston to acknowledge discrimination and oppression and racism, and we have had resolutions and various policies and different honorific actions over the lifetime of Evanston, and it has just not been enough,” Alderperson Robin Rue Simmons declared.

Continuing Affirmative Action and the $trillions flushed down the War on Poverty prove that nothing could ever be enough — especially not for a person of politically preferred pigmentation like Robin Rue Simmons.

“I’m offering no apologies,” Alderperson Robin Rue Simmons huffed. “This is for black Evanston residents.”

No word on what kind of racial certification would be required of residents to prove their eligibility.

Rachel Dolezal may or may not qualify for free money.

Regarding the numbers adding up,

The slavery reparations program expects to monetize its $10 million fund at a rate of $250,000 to $750,000 a year. …

Getting $750,000 on a 3% sales tax would require moving $25 million worth of legal marijuana a year. That’s a whole lot of drugs for a city of under 75,000 residents. Every person in Evanston would need to spend over $300 at drug dispensaries every year to fund racial reparations. …

The obvious revenue source for drug reparations for slavery would be the drug habits of Northwestern University students. But that’s also the group likeliest to cut costs by buying directly from drug dealers and bypassing Evanston’s racial pot taxes. …

Meanwhile, Evanston is still trying to figure out how to pay for its $321 million budget.

There is also the pension debt to deal with.

Maybe if Evanston’s City Council puffs the pot itself, reality will float away with the smoke, and everything will be okay.

On tips from Angel and Dragon’s Lair.



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