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May 27 2023

Fart Spray Induces Panic

Good thing Alejandro Mayorkas and Merrick Garland are on the job. The domestic terrorism they squeak about is on the rise. A recent attack at Caney Creek High School north of Houston was so terrifying, it left authorities with no other option but to panic hysterically:

Following an investigation, police arrested David Navarrete-Arce, 17, and Diego Flores, 18, on May 12, charging them with possession of a prohibited weapon – a third-degree felony punishable by up to 10 years in prison, according to reporting by The Courier of Montgomery County.

The “weapon” in question is a stink spray called Hensgaukt Fart Spray, marketed online as a gag toy of the type teenagers tend to find amusing. The smell so alarmed authorities, the school was evacuated twice. Some students were taken out on stretchers. A can of the stink spray was confiscated by a teacher on the day of the first evacuation, but apparently dots were left unconnected.


Roughly 30 tons of ammonium nitrate disappeared in mid-April while being moved [by train] from Wyoming to California, prompting explosives manufacturer Dyno Nobel to inform federal authorities. More than a month after material vanished during the nearly two-week trip, officials have yet to find cargo, The New York Times reported on Sunday.

No worries; Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg is sure to get to the bottom of it, as with all the other transportation debacles that have been in the news since he took office.

Ammonium nitrate is a chemical often used in agricultural fertilizer but can also be implemented in explosives, as it was in the deadly 1995 Oklahoma City bombing, according to the federal government.

Also, the border is wide open, with invaders crossing illegally at a rate of millions per year, including terrorists from places like Afghanistan. Majorkas and Garland are too focused on the fabricated threat of white supremacists to do anything about it, assuming they would know where to start.

Terrorists will have no problem instilling panic in the coming years.

On tips from Wiggins and Varla.


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