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Aug 28 2019

Historic Norwich Cathedral Reduced to Amusement Park

Construction was begun on England’s Norwich Cathedral in 1096. When it was completed over 70 years later, it was the largest building in East Anglia. After standing through all these centuries, it is now undergoing a form of deconstruction. The nave currently features a “helter-skelter carnival ride.”

According to the cathedral, approximately 10,000 people visited to slide down the ride, dubbed the #SeeingItDifferently project. The Very Rev. Jane Hedges was the first to take the plunge, after which she said, “Our hope is that it will bring a very different audience into the cathedral.”

It seems there aren’t enough Christians left in England to fill the pews, so Church of England clergy thought it would be a good idea to pander to the Disneyland set.

Rt. Rev. Jonathan Meyrick, the bishop of Lynn, delivered a sermon from the ride last Sunday after sliding halfway down and singing a Bee Gees song. “God is a tourist attraction,” he expounded.

An interesting note from Wikipedia:

The cathedral spire, measuring at 315 ft (96 m), is the second-tallest in England despite being partly rebuilt after being struck by lightning in 1169, just 23 months after its completion, which led to the building being set on fire.

That lightning strike came 850 years too soon.

To kill a religion, you don’t shoot priests or throw them into gulags. Stalin already tried that. You destroy if from within by reducing it to farce.

It could always be worse, as we learn with each passing week. If the current trajectory continues, by this time next year the Church of England should be ready to broaden its appeal by using Norwich Cathedral to host Butt-Con.

On a tip from Blackjack.

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