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Jan 17 2018

Holiday in Venezuela

The Bernie Sanders types running Venezuela are so corrupt and incompetent that they cannot even make money off the sea of oil the country is floating on. So socialist dictator Nicolas Maduro says it will turn to tourism for revenue. Good luck with that.

Due to the inevitable shortages, some hotels ration toilet paper. TVs often don’t work because there are no affordable parts for repairs. The lights don’t always come on. Only native Venezuelans use the hotels, and they tend to steal everything they can get their hands on, including appliance parts and light bulbs.

Societal collapse has produced an exploding crime rate. That alone is reason enough for tourists to steer clear, although a hotel owner reports that a Belgian fellow actually did book a room last year…

But he was spotted in town, the hotelier said, and one day after he checked in, six masked gunmen barged into the hotel lobby. They forced a front-desk clerk to take them to the man’s room.

“It was horrible. They stole everything,” the hotel owner said. “His iPhone, his clothes. Everything.”

Getting to Venezuela is also a problem.

Only 15 international airlines are still flying to Venezuela. More than 15 others have pulled out in the past two years, citing economic concerns and security troubles, including stolen luggage at airports. …

Airlines say the government has withheld hundreds of millions of dollars in proceeds from local ticket sales.

Then there is the 3,000% inflation rate, thanks to which a hotel room can end up costing hundreds of dollars per night.

Venezuela will make a great tourist destination, once it gets out from under socialist rule. In the meantime, someone should do an updated version of the Dead Kennedys’ punk rock classic “Holiday in Cambodia,” changing the country to Venezuela.

12 Responses to “Holiday in Venezuela”

  1. Adam Samuels says:

    Under socialism, everything belongs to everyone, right?

  2. C. S. P. Schofield says:

    Sounds to me like the only thing hey would have to offer would be sex tourism. Wonder how the Moonbat Left will justify THAT?

  3. BillPrep says:

    bragging that you know
    how the ni**ers feel cold
    and the slums got so much soul…

    …now you can go,where people are one
    now you can go,where they get things done

    brace yourself, my dear…

  4. JeffersonSpinningInGrave says:

    Or they could model it after Cuba, and have tourist specific zones and even a tourist specific currency. Then rake all the proceeds. I’ve read that Cuba confiscates even the tips given to workers, so tipping generously won’t even help the regular folks. Then rich leftists from LA can fly down and bitch about the food, which it 1000X better than the locals enjoy.

  5. THOUGHTCRIMINAL2084 says:
    Holiday in Cambodia
    Dead Kennedys

    So, you’ve been to school
    For a year or two
    And you know you’ve seen it all
    In daddy’s car
    Thinking you’ll go far
    Back east your type don’t crawl
    Playing ethnicky jazz
    To parade your snazz
    On your five-grand stereo
    Braggin’ that you know
    How the niggers feel cold
    And the slum’s got so much soul
    It’s time to taste what you most fear
    Right Guard will not help you here
    Brace yourself, my dear
    Brace yourself, my dear
    It’s a holiday in Cambodia
    It’s tough, kid, but it’s life
    It’s a holiday in Cambodia
    Don’t forget to pack a wife
    You’re a star-belly snitch
    You suck like a leech
    You want everyone to act like you
    Kiss ass while you bitch
    So you can get rich
    While your boss gets richer off you
    Well, you’ll work harder
    With a gun in your back
    For a bowl of rice a day
    Slave for soldiers
    Till you starve
    Then your head is skewered on a stake
    Now you can go where the people are one
    Now you can go where they get things done
    What you need, my son…
    What you need, my son…
    Is a holiday in Cambodia
    Where people are dressed in black
    A holiday in Cambodia
    Where you’ll kiss ass or crack
    Pol Pot, Pol Pot, Pol Pot, Pol Pot
    It’s a holiday in Cambodia
    Where you’ll do what you’re told
    It’s a holiday in Cambodia
    Where the slums got so much soul
    Pol Pot

  6. THOUGHTCRIMINAL2084 says:

    Damn You! i was thinking the same Dead Kennedy’s track and didn’t know the lyrics.

  7. Jack Bauer says:


    Wait…..isn’t that on the State Department’s official list of shitholes that American citizens should avoid?

  8. Occam's Stubble says:

    Dave, are you saying Venezuela is a shithole? How racist of you.

  9. Eddie_Valiant says:

    Hmmm…I wouldn’t hit that with your d*ck!

  10. JeffersonSpinningInGrave says:

    Of course. “This is the peoples’ mansion, comrade. I am merely a humble steward.”

  11. Nick Testa says:

    I would encourage progressives to take a vacation…. If we’re lucky perhaps they will be kidnapped, robbed, murdered or eaten by the hungry. Karma is a good thing.

  12. daehler-untermensch says:

    I expect that sean penn, should he overcome the “danger” warning of his pea brain, would “dine” with the maduro’s gang; overseen by their well “dined” bodyguards.

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