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Jul 26 2019

Let Them Eat Synthetic Dog Food

Progressives have repeatedly made it clear that in utopia, we will not be eating meat or even dairy products. We are told that a normal human diet makes it be too hot outside. What will our enlightened liberal overlords feed us instead? Insects have been proposed, but may constitute oppression of our six-legged brethren. If a rat is a pig is a dog is a boy, as PETA President Ingrid Newkirk barks, then bugs are probably people too. Maybe they will feed us synthetic dog food. That would be an apt description of the leading plant-based alternative proteins.

According to University of California, Davis Professor Frank Mitloehner,

“When you look at Impossible Burger or Beyond Meat, you will find that they have 21 or 22 highly-processed ingredients. In fact, so processed that you are hard pressed in identifying the difference between those items, versus let’s say, pet food.”

Mitloehner says that Impossible Foods founder Patrick Brown eats dog food and calls the ingredients wholesome.

“I thought he was joking,” Mitloehner said, “until I did a little research and compared his burger versus Beyond Burger versus dog (food). And guess what? I would not be able to tell the difference. Which is just testament to me that they are actually making something that from a nutritional basis might not be very different from dog food. Then adding the flavors and the taste and the smell and, viola, there is your plant-based alternative to the real thing.”

But you will learn to like it, or you will be shunned for offending the climate and oppressing the animals.

On a tip from Stormfax.

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