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Feb 09 2012

Los Angeles County Bans Frisbees on Beaches

The moonbat micromanagers ruling La-La Land must finally be running out of things to ban. Now they’re suppressing fun on the beach:

The Board of Supervisors this week agreed to raise fines to up to $1,000 for anyone who throws a football or a Frisbee on any beach in Los Angeles County.

In passing the 37-page [!!!] ordinance on Tuesday, officials sought to outline responsibilities for law enforcement and other public agencies while also providing clarification on beach-goer activities that could potentially disrupt or even injure the public.

The updated rules now prohibit “any person to cast, toss, throw, kick or roll” any object other than a beach ball or volleyball “upon or over any beach” between Memorial Day and Labor Day.

Exceptions may be granted for those who obtain a permit; no word on how much that would cost, or how far in advance you have to apply.

The scopious ordinance also forbids kids with little plastic shovels from digging any hole deeper than 18 inches in the sand. Think of the jobs that will be created as nearly bankrupt LA County hires regulators equipped with yardsticks to monitor the excavation of sand castle moats.

LA bureaucrats must be trying to top their counterparts up in Seattle, where beach bonfires are forbidden lest they discomfort the polar bears by heating up the planet.

On tips from Gregory of Yardale, G. Fox, Wingmann, J, Mike P, and Cargo Pilot. Hat tip: Papa Todd.

22 Responses to “Los Angeles County Bans Frisbees on Beaches”

  1. Snake Plissken says:

    Time to escape from that hellhole.

  2. StanInTexas says:

    They are doing this so that no one can “potentially disrupt or even injure the public.” Anyone want to take bets on how long it will be before they shut down the entire beach FOR THE SAME REASON!

    How did we all survive so long without having the government protect us from ourselves?????? ::swoon::

  3. dan says:

    time to ban bikinis and don the burkhas….
    don’t moonbat politicians disrupt and injure MY
    peace of mind

  4. Nature Deficit Disorder says:

    Seriously? Regulating kids on their play now as they don’t have enough already. Nature Deficit Disorder is real and this type of crap is destroying our youth and creative progress of a nation. Here’s an idea, you gov’t cronies mandate all parents provide iPods and video games to kids. It’ll keep them sheltered and under tight grips of supervision while preventing injury and harm to others. Also, GPS tracking bracelets would be a good idea. Just Absurd

  5. wingmann says:

    Then they came for my beach and I said nothing…..

  6. KHarn says:

    Absolute CONTROL, regressives; it’s what your leaders want and it doesn’t matter what YOU want.

  7. Michelle says:

    Well SOMEBODY had to put a stop those unbelievable and constantly increasing death by frisbee numbers…

    Why I’ve seen first hand the massive trauma an entire community goes through when a frisbee is in the irrational hands of those racist rethigikan bacon eating teabaggers!

    A poor innocent undocumented child was deformed for life after that intentionally harmful and evil device, built by greedy corporations who hate old people I might add, managed to fly past her hair and tossle it!!

    Apparently those divisive oil company facists George Bush and Sarah Palin prevented OSHA from communicating with the FAA in time to save the life of that poor innocent undocumented child!!

    According to the FBI billions of people are slaughtered every single day by frisbees being intentionally hurled at the 99% just because they have a different skin tone, or may speak some foreign language or were smart enough to get a degree in the mating habits of ancient nepalise grub worms!!!

    I’m really glad this menace has finally been addressed…. instead of all that time those retarded hick tebaggers wasted trying to stop paying for the constitutionally mandated cowboy poetry festaval!

  8. StanInTexas says:

    Michelle, when you finish writing your first fiction novel, I want a copy!

    That was BRILLIANT!

  9. Henry says:

    Prog fascism continues its creep…

  10. AlphaMail says:

    How ironic that today’s photo at is a picture of the sun going down on a California beach.

    Notice the beach is abandoned – obviously a consequential harbinger of the envirobats eventual desire to give sand fleas constitutional rights and protect them from being trampled.

    Of course they will have also read Michelle’s excellent treatise on Frisbee deaths.

  11. Laura says:

    Thank you, Michele.

    Before now, I would never have mentioned to anyone my MA in The Mating Habits of Ancient Nepalise Grub Worms but your post has given me confidence and a newfound sense of pride. My cup runneth over. Unfortunately, my frisbee was runneth over, too, by the local police–the commie-airheads.

  12. Mike D says:

    Does this only apply to County beaches (i.e. Venice) not city beaches (i.e. Santa Monica, Manhattan, Hermosa)? I know in Orange County the cities enforce their laws on the beaches and they vary from city to city (smoking on the beach is illegal in some cities but not all). Just wondering if this is the same situation in LA County.

  13. Chris in N.Va. says:

    So, instead of risking handling those dangerous, illegal, injury-causing Frisbees, I can fondly envision that one could perchance organize a group of, say, 50 or so yoots who could simultaneously KICK (that IS a permitted beach activity) volleyballs (one of the two government-recognized wholesome and lawful projectiles that ARE allowed to be kicked on a beach) into an expanse of unsuspecting LIBERAL sunbathers and the resulting bombardment would be a “protected” activity, a simple “expression” of yoot-ful exuberance, especially if they creatively label it “performance art.”

  14. Hail The Amberlamps! says:

    More humans + Amorality = Less Freedom

    Don’t count on the libtarded brain to grasp it.

  15. Michelle says:

    Thank’s Stan 🙂

  16. The MaryHunter says:

    Next they will ban beach towels because people have been injured by flying sand from the actions of insensitive towel flippers.

    GOD I’m SO GLAD I left So Cal!

  17. Michelle says:

    Don’t worry Laura…

    I’ve heard there are millions of preselected openings for specific people who have certain skin tones, sufficient immeasurable dislike for their own nation, and who were wise enough, or rather brilliantly communist enough to spend somebody else’s money on their highly coveted MA Mating Habits of Ancient Nepalise Grub Worms.

    Granted you must have a constant seething hatred of for anyone who may have even the slightest disagreement for your own cult like lockstep and be very fluent in hand twinkles, but I just can’t imagine that being a problem for you.

    Just remember hate is spelled Sara Palin, because the dictionary was written by a bunch of patriacal rich old white guys who oppressed you 🙂

  18. Bob Roberts says:

    Here in San Diego they used bonfires as a political football. Because they’ve lavished so many rich perks on government officials they’re having perennial budget woes so, to drive home the need to raise taxes instead of cut services, the mayor keeps threatening, every year, to “cut the budget first” by taking up the fire rings (concrete circles or squares) which are the only legal places to have beach fires here.

    But as for the football and frisbee ban, I’m torn on that. I like throwing both on the beach and, if they enact a similar law here, I will miss doing so. But I have seen the result when people who don’t know what they are doing start throwing footballs and frisbees on the more crowded beaches of summer and start either hitting people, including very young kids, with them or, worse, running while looking at the thrown object instead of where they’re going and then they run right into people, with a potential for serious injury.

    I know there’s a better way to handle this and I am certain a $1,000 fine is more a revenue tool than any reasonable safety enhancement. But I can agree that on certain days when the beaches are crowded those who are throwing things around in the crowded areas do need to cut it out.

    Better perhaps would be to have certain zones, the places where there are big crowds, where you can’t do that but leave other places, the less crowded areas, open to those activities. Perhaps look at the density of the crowd and put up signs then that prohibit the activity? I don’t know, but I do know the way they are doing it is ridiculous and the fine is outrageous.

  19. Bob Roberts says:

    Michelle says: February 9, 2012 at 10:08 am
    That post is either a brilliant work of sarcasm or the best example yet of moonbattery.

    I’m guessing it’s the former.

  20. GM Car Of The Future says:

    It’s too early for April Fools, Dave.
    Stop kidding around with these Onion news stories.


  21. Michelle says:

    Well Duh Bob Roberts….

    You have to admit that even though it’s actually true, it’s so far into the realm of absolute delusion that it’s pretty hard to accept it.

  22. Alan says:

    In fairness, I’ve lived in Florida fifteen years and have never seen a bonfire on ANY beach. I’m surprised that was legal at all, anywhere.

    I just checked the county website and sure enough, campfires on the beach are illegal, period, as is dumping ashes or coals from any stove.

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