moonbattery logo

Nov 08 2018

Man Identifies as Younger, Demands Birth Date Change

Ageists try to tell us that we are a certain age just because we were born in a certain year. We were born of a certain gender too; that doesn’t stop people from getting their gender legally changed. So why can’t we have our birth date changed? Emile Ratelband leads the fight in this new frontier for civil rights:

The Dutch pensioner is asking a court in his hometown of Arnhem, southeast of Amsterdam, to change his birth certificate so that it says he took his first breath on March 11, 1969, rather than on March 11, 1949.

Ratelband says he feels more like 49 than 69. It is common knowledge that you are only as old as you feel.

One reason he wants his age legally changed is that it will enhance his love life.

“If you’re 69 on Tinder, you’re outdated,” reasoned Ratelband, who has seven children and is now without a partner. His friends urge him just to modify his age on dating apps. “But I don’t want to lie,” he said. “If you lie, you have to remember everything you say.”

Whereas if the government lies for you, you can repeat the lies and they are the truth, since Big Government is now god and can directly manipulate reality (e.g., by controlling the climate through taxes and regulations, by making men into women, by creating genders that do not exist, by transforming Bowe Bergdahl into a hero…).

A verdict is expected with a few weeks.

If biological reality does not apply to transsexuals, it does not apply to Ratelband either — nor to teenagers, who will owe a tip of the beer can to Ratelband when they are granted the right to identify as old enough to buy alcohol.

This should also help us save a bundle on life insurance. Transsexual lunacy has already been used to save on auto insurance.

On a tip from Varla.




Alibi3col theme by Themocracy